Welcome to my flowing vortex of unlimited possibility, where the only truth I know is my own.

Conspiracy Theories

I have been asked to discuss my thoughts and feelings as to why people tend to believe in abstract conspiracy theories, this is such a huge and important topic as there are so many different conspiracies amongst the world and there tends to also be huge ridicule towards the people who entertain these ideas. I shall try to remain impartial as I delve into the underlying reasons as to why it tends to be specific people/characters that indulge into these concepts and who strongly believe in them.

Conspiracy theories are beliefs that some covert but influential organizations are responsible for unexplained events and often evil acts of manipulation and the spreading of false information in order to create a sense of control, guiding people further and further from the “truth”. There have been an incredible amount of conspiracy theories spread amongst the world, the first conspiracy to come about being the Kennedy assination in 1963. Many groups of people conspire together to work against these organizations they believe are causing harm, but they often lack much evidence or proof, as it’s pretty impossible really to have hard factual evidence against such high up and respected organizations, or some would say it’s because there is no proof. What we have to remember is there have been many lies amongst society and the government since the beginning of time and although now we have much freedom and choice this wasn’t always the case. As time has passed on people have become more and more distrusting in their governments, politicians and these covert organisations. This therefore encouraged many individuals to start looking for “the truth” for if such lies had been exposed even small ones, then the question posed is what else have we been lied to about? The people wanted answers, things didn’t add up, so logically they began to research and delve into the surface of the truth.

There is so much judgement from society and the people who disregard all conspiracy’s, often painting a picture that if you infact believe in them you must be some what mentally ill, naive or straight up stupid. This really is not the case, firstly we all have a right to believe what we wish, we are all entitled to discover the truth for ourselves no matter what that truth may be. So why believe in such theories? Why not trust all the information that’s provided to us, firstly because it’s straight up naive to believe anything just for the sake of it, just because you have been told to do so. You should always research the truth for yourself and put the pieces of reality together until you feel something makes sense to you, whilst always being open and acceptant to the FACT that you will NEVER know 100% whether or not these theories are true, not unless you see it with your own eyes capturing “them” in the act. You must take all information shared with a pinch of salt and remember that the truth is not always as it seems.

Many individuals who have experienced pain/loss/ridicule inflicted by the system in some shape or form tend to overtly go against “them” in every way that they can, so would be quick to believe anything that shines “them” in a light of evil. For example, say you have been brought up amongst the care system, you experienced a lot of pain in your early stages of life and never really felt loved or supported. You then got saved by the system brought in to be cared for but then got treated pretty awfully experiencing much abuse; physical, mental and sexual. This system that was meant to be in place to help you grow and to nourish you turns around to be the complete opposite. But you're young, and you're completely powerless to this, you have no choice but to just accept being treated this way. You build up resentment for these people, for the system that put you here in the first place. You grow with a sense of me VS them, as you continue to grow you become more and more distrusting of the people in power, for surely they must all be evil? For your inner child has been broken and hurt over and over, you believe that the world must be run by darkness and by evil for how is it possible for this to be happening and not be getting exposed?

You see I know of many people this has happened to and these people are very likely to follow conspiracies as their only experience of authority is of them being cruel, inflicting pain under the surface. Knowing the whole time that there is no physical evidence to prove that this is happening to them. Why would they not search for answers, why would they not believe in the conspiracies of leaders being pedophiles who inflict pain, for they have only ever experienced this reality to be true. It doesn't matter who did it or that there is no direct link between their experience and the conspiracy that comes about, what matters is that all they know is abuse and the misuse of power, so for them to believe this is happening in many other cases or that there are people amongst the government/organizations doing evil things is not hard for them to believe. If anything it makes more sense to them, if anything this adds up in their minds as believable and most likely true. For all we know to be real and to be true is our own experience of reality.

Conspiracy theories come from a place of deep pain, a place of mistrust in the people who influence the progress of society or with hold some form of power. The evidence is NOT the most important thing to people who believe in these theories, as concrete evidence can be somewhat hard to find on your own. The evidence is not so important to you as you know and have been in many situations that you will never ever be able to prove to another, that you are unable to provide factual evidence for, but this doesn’t mean it didn't happen right? So therefore it is highly possible for so many things to be happening, hidden amongst lies that are very hard to expose, it’s basic logic.

I believe that when you begin to face your own shadow and the shadow of others you begin to see how anything is possible, how evil is possible and that it is happening on a moment to moment basis all over the world, and that ANYONE is capable of inflicting such pain. That anyone is capable of killing someone, anyone is capable of deliberately making a situation unfold. You start to realise that there are holes among stories that have been told on the news and by people in place of power, you start to realise how easy it would be for them to do all these things that they have been accused of. You start to realise that “the truth” is a fabricated term and you wake up to the reality that the only thing that’s really 100% real is what you know to be true for you. When any of us hear of a conspiracy theory I believe we judge it based on our personal experiences of Authority, this could be any form of authority, a teacher, a police officer,a doctor etc. A person who has had bad experiences inflicted by someone of “more” power is more likely to believe in such conspiracies and is not so interested in the “factual” proof brought out to dismiss them, as they know it is just as easy to fake these conspiracies as it is to lie and cover them up when in a place of power.

Beleiving in conspiracy theories is NOT irrational nor is it stupid, if anything it is healthy to entertain such possibilities as the truth is anything is possible. It is naive to blindly invest your trust into people you do not personally know or have not met, just as much as it is naive to hear a conspiracy theory and just believe it for the sake of it without doing your own research and feeling your way through such ideas. I also think there are many people who blindly believe in such conspiracy theories as they wish to feel included, a part of something and to feel accepted for their deep pain and mistrust of these covert organisations. We all want to be accepted right? Loved and appreciated, we wish for our pain to be acknowledged and heard and I guess there is some form of security in believing these things especially if you are being ridiculed by society and others for having such thoughts. The fact that so many people sit on their iron thrones, prodding and poking at one another, ridiculing one another for their ideas and beliefs is straight up wrong and is evil in its own way. People have been shamed over and over for coming out with mad ideas and concepts, but the truth is we all have them, all these theories cross our minds as we all share a collective consciousness, we all share one mind. Due to our different expeirences in life our minds get programmed and conditioned in so many different ways which is where the seperation comes about, but we should be embracing all possiblitys, all ideas not shutting people out and making them feel dumb and wrong for trying to discuss mad theories, we should be encouraging one another to speak our minds. Holding space for each other’s process of finding our own truth and understanding of the world.

The more we have pushed people out of society for being different or for not complying to social norms and expectations, the more we have called them “crazy” has resulted in so many people feeling alone and treated wrongly by the people who have power to influence what is and what is not accepted as a sain and healthy way to be. Due to feeling “different” these people have always felt alone so they blame all the people who could have potentially influenced society to be the way that it is. As they have found themselves on the outside of society they are isolated and alone in their pain why would they not believe in such conspiracy theories if they have only ever been made to feel pain inflicted by the system they are meant to trust? why wouldn’t they want to believe that bad things are happening and being covered up? All they have ever experienced is ridicule and shame for being different so it’s logical for them to mistrust  people/organizations with influence.

Over time people have joined together in their uniqueness, the “rebels' ' of society have joined forces with the very intention of exposing all the evil they believe is occurring. They have dug and dug at the surface of reality and found many compelling ideas and theories, therefore exposing this to the public for people to see, and there have been many cases where these conspiracy theorists have then been found to have gone missing or thrown into mental institutions or worse found dead. These circles have grown and grown as so many people have experienced some kind of pain inflicted by a system, a restriction or a social expectation. We as a society have created such groups as we have not been accepting of mad ideas, we have forced people out and therefore encouraged their extreme need to pursue finding evidence and proof for why they feel the way they do.

Ultimately I could sit for days exploring the different reasons as to why people believe what they do, but the most important thing of all despite if you believe in any conspiracy theories or not, is that we should embrace all potentials of reality, all possibilities should and need to be considered with deep thought, contemplation and consideration. We must all embrace one anothers mad ideas and concepts and take every piece of information you see, find or discover with a pinch of salt. We must learn to accept one another for our differences, whilst holding space for one another and appreciating each other's ideas/thoughts and feelings. The most important thing is that we understand that reality has many faces, that we are all a result of our conditioning and our personal experiences, that we all have a responsibility as a human being to explore the truth for ourselves and share it with those we love without fear of ridicule and judgement.

Anything is possible, explore reality and its many faces but don’t hold yourself to concepts and ideas that you do not know are real as they will only limit you more and more. Believe only what you know to be real for you and don’t go around preaching and claiming things to be right and wrong, for there is no ultimate “right” or “wrong” there is only shared perceptions, beliefs and perspectives. Ultimately we never know why a person believes or thinks what they do so we must be compassionate and devoid of judgement. Embrace one another's differences and invest your time into discovering what the truth is for you.

The Deceptions of My Mind~

"If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself"~ George orwell

The vessel of my soul.

The depth of my heart.

The illusion of my mind.

As I sit here I float among the delusions of reality,

The confusion of brutality and the lack of humility and balance that surrounds us all.

The vessel of my soul grows vaster, emptier and more free as the depths of my heart expand wider for all of the world to see.

The illusion of my mind inside of my mind, and of the thoughts I mistake to be mine.

This delusion is what traps me inside of the mind of my own mind,

the infinite mind, the broader mind, the mind consumed by ideas fantasy's and complex realities.

The truth is I don't know the truth at all, all I know is my own heart, mind and soul.

When my mind loses control it ducks and dives through the words in which to describe,

to comprehend what it is I believe to be true and to be real.

My mind lies to my heart and incorrectly translates my soul.

All I know is that I feel love, love for all that is, for all and whomever I come to meet and all those that I don't get the pleasure to greet.

My heart grows more and more each day, as the connection of the world grows stronger, As the expansion of consciousness becomes broader and broader.

My soul knows what's next, where we're all heading to be.

It knows where I'm going and who I'm fated to be, for my soul is the universe and a part of the whole "we".

But the existence of my mind creates conflict between my heart and my soul, it creates fasards lies and forces me to cry.

The existence of the mind is cruel,

Only set out to control and ultimately rule.

The mind needs control for without it it would simply not be, The mind fears the death of the ego for it will perish along with thee.

The heart and soul will always be real and be true, the heart and the soul will go on to share love, grow and heal.

But my mind will soon dissipate along with the fear, anxiety and chitter chatter. Only then will you see.

The heart and the soul will go on, the rest will no longer be.

All that will be is love, and all that is love will be.



The Illusion of "I"

" Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most"- Buddha

The Illusion of "I" (Tuesday 5th March 2019)

After living on my own at alma mundi; in the incredibly beautiful spanish mountains, completely alone with only nature to surround me. After all distractions were taken away, when all people dissipated it left just me. Just "I" remained. I began to delve in to this concept of "I" what is "I" who am "I" when no one else is around, what is it that makes up "I". At first I was clouded by so many thoughts, fears of my safety, worries of being alone. I was scared of silence, of having no distraction. But once I began to accept my new reality I began to go within, deep within, through meditation and my connection to nature I was enabled to experience a true sense of silence, not just silence on the outside but an ultimate silence within. Through experiencing this silence, I began to notice an emptiness, at first it scared me, my mind didn't understand what this was. I had experienced moments of this empty feeling in different periods of my life but never completely understood it, my understanding was very limited and I assumed it was just a result of an empty mind. I continued to meditate, to write, I then came across "buddha's philosophy of emptiness", and then also came across osho's book "112 meditations- the book of secrets", these sources of information really helped me to connect the dots within. I felt for the first time in my life what "I" really was and "I" began to melt in to my surroundings, consuming every sound, feeling every breeze, every ray of sun on my skin. I experienced the ultimate truth that "I" is a completely false concept, that "I" is a completely misleading "thing". Who am "I" ? What is it that makes up "I"?

Try to clear your mind for this moment, imagine a world with no thought. Picture a world of complete and utter divine silence. You can't possibly do so as your mind is consumed by thoughts, it is consumed by ideas, plans , desires, memories, you find silence hard because your mind has become you. Even the very task of trying to imagine a world of silence creates sound, chatter within your mind, where does this chatter come from? For all you know this chatter has been imprisoned in your mind since you became a conscious child, over the years your mind has become your identity so you haven’t lived even a single day of inner silence, you haven't experienced a life without thought. Imagine all people, all thoughts and all distractions were to disappear, what would be left?

Buddha says, " your ego/mind is nothing but desires, atomic desires. There are millions of desires; they make you. If you go on pulling out desires one by one, a moment will come when there is no desire left, you have just disappeared completely. Just space, vacant space remains and this is called NIRVANA. This is the cessation of your being completely you are no more. This is what silence is. Unless you are gone and completely desireless silence cannot descend upon you."

So if "I" is a make up of all of mine and your desires, all "I" really is, is a bunch of desires placed on top of one another over and over again for many many years, then "I" isn't really anything at all, it is nothing, all it is is your mind that has clung to thousands and millions of thoughts and desires, your "I" as you know it is simply a make up of thoughts and desires that never really belonged to you in the first place, they were simply everyone else's words, thoughts and beliefs, "I" is simply false all together. It is just an Illusion of separateness, when really all of your desires have been placed upon you, you have been conditioned by your desires all of your life that it has resulted in a "physical" manifestation of your own sense of self, but that sense of self is one entirely false. “I" simply does not exist at all, all that exists is your physical body. Your mind is simply a process. It is not a thing, it is just a bridge between the physical and the non-physical that is connected to all of the beyond. Therefore you can only ever experience your true being through the silence of the mind. When your mind is full of thoughts, when you identify with these passing thoughts you become more and more attached to them, you become them, you become more and more obsessed by your identity of "I" and who others believe you to be.

Thoughts are like clouds floating among the sky, the clouds come and they go but they do not belong to anyone nor does anything or anyone belong to them. Thoughts are the same, they fluctuant they change, they come and they go but they are not you, it is only because of old habit that when a thought floats into your sky your mind quickly jumps at the opportunity to cling to it, to fixate with it, as your "mind" your sense of "I" only exists if it is constantly attached to a thought, your mind can only remain in control through thought it can only exist within thought. Your mind only exists in time; past and future. As soon as you silence the mind and become present with a moment, A now moment of complete inner peace, your mind can no longer exist. Where is your mind? It is not there. How can you possibly know it is there as there is ultimate silence, there is nothingness, you become an empty and free void of infinite space. You see the mind is not a physical thing, you cannot see it, you cannot touch it it isn't that of the physical, it is false; that is why the mind is very complex to understand and why no one really understands the capacity of it or even the danger of it. Where as your body in fact is real, your brain is real, they are both physical things that can be touched, changed and measured.

Osho says: " Just Imagine, if there is no desire within you, what will you be? You are nothing but a bundle of desires. If all desires go, you simply disappear". If all of your thoughts were to dissipate completely disappear. You would be left as if you were a completely empty vacant vehicle of flesh. Because nobody is there, no mind, no thoughts, no false sense of "I". The only thing that remains is your physical body that is filled will empty space, infinite space, complete silence and connection to all that is and all that is real. As the sense of "I" is no more, nor is the illusion of being separate from one another or the earth; no thought, no word, no sound is necessary as you feel that deep inner silence, that deep inner nothingness. You become free and ultimately connected to all that is real. You feel now as if your body is a vessel, a vessel consumed by emptiness, infinite space, which is all that the earth is. The earth and all that is among it is just a make up of atoms, atoms are just a make up of empty space. That empty space is the core of your very being, that empty space is silent, that silence echoes throughout all of the universe and beyond. Without your reaction there is no sound as for sound to exist it needs your ears to respond and react to it in order for the sound to be acknowledged, otherwise how do we know that sound is even real? This emptiness is deep bliss and ultimate connection to all things, unless you connect to this inner silence, this inner space through meditation, you will forever and always be "I" you will forever be disconnected from all things and you won't really exist. Your body will exist but you will spend your life chasing desires, chasing an identity to fill the empty void that scares and terrifies you because the very idea of being empty, scares your mind because it means letting go of your mind completely. You will go on attached to your thoughts, you will go on full, full of clouds that hide the incredibly beautiful infinite space within you. You will never really know what life is as you will forever go on living for a made up sense of self, you will go on being controlled by your mind, a process that is merely there to help you survive above other creatures, it gives you that advantage over other beings and animals on the earth. It is a transparent bridge that allows you to connect deeper to the physical through your senses; sound, sight,touch,taste; it is to be used as a tool for survival but it is the most dangerous master of all.

Even many people claim to be free of thought, that they indulge in meditation and silence. But it is not true, they just think that they do as there mind is so in control and so clever and cunning that it can convince you that you are on a spiritual search of truth and existence, but really you're just on one big ego-trip. Your mind loves the idea of achievements of gain and of status, that it will encourage you to meditate/do yoga or other spiritual practices, but really it remains in control keeping you focused on attaining more and more of the divine. It wants more than anything to experience the divine, the inner silence, the ultimate bliss of both life and death itself, but it cannot, as it only exist within thought. Therefore it will convince you that you've felt it, that you've met your inner core and you will go on believing this to be true , and you will be deceiving yourself as your mind/ego or whatever you wanna call it fills you with a temporary feeling of happiness or completeness and accomplishment at the fact that you've reached the feeling of your highest being; the feeling of complete oneness. But these emotions and feelings are of a false kind and they do not last, sooner or later you become fixated on achieving something else so that when you've achieved it , your mind will fill you with a false sense of happiness once again, and you will go on repeating this cycle over and over again throughout your life until you die. You will live for the approval of your mind, for your sense of identity as this gives you a feeling of comfort and security.

In order to really experience our true sense of self, thought needs to be eradicated completely, mind needs to dissipate leaving only silence to remain. The more and more you learn to silence the mind, the less thoughts will cloud your sky, the less thoughts will fill you. You will simply become the observer of all, you will live among the silence of your true nature and you will allow these thoughts to come and go without attaching yourself to them, without thinking that they are you or that they belong to you. All sense of "I" will begin to melt away and you will become everything and nothing simultaneously, you will be everywhere and nowhere all at once. All desires will be gone. You will experience the truth of your being and existence but you will never be able to explain or describe this experience in words as it is beyond the minds and beyond words comprehension, nor will you feel the need to try. You will know, you will know that you are all that is. Not just believe it not just think it about it, you will know it. You will become the universe, you will float among this earth carrying with you a deep inner silence and acceptance, a deep inner bliss. Once you've met the universe, once you've met your true being you will never be the same again. You will not focus on gain and status you will be humble and acceptant of all that unfolds before you, never taking anything personally as you know nothing is happening to you. It is happening for you. You will become free of identity of thoughts that would once cling to your mind, as you will no longer need to react to them or feed them any of your energy as you will know and truly understand that they are not you and that they will soon pass; leaving just empty space for creation and manifestation to remain. You will know that you are everyone, that you are also no one. You will understand the important things in life and you will no longer search for something outside of yourself as you will know and truly understand that everything is inside of you already. That nothing achieved or gained in the external will bring you anything more than a temporary feeling of fleeting emotion. You will know the truth through this silence. You are everywhere and nowhere, You are all that is.

All sense of "I" will no longer need to exist.

Unconditional Love

" To love is to recognise yourself in another"~ Echkart Tolle

Unconditional Love (13th Novemeber 2018)

There is a huge difference between unconditional love and conditional love, many people are unaware of what unconditional love is and many even argue that it is in fact impossible to love without conditions, many say all relationships are based on conditions that work for one another to keep the relationship together. It is said that in order to have a “healthy” “win-win” relationship that you rely on eachother doing specific things for one another in order to keep eachother happy and in order to make sure you are providing your partner with what they need to be happy and satisfied with the relationship they have chosen to be in. When living at the community in Australia Natural bridge, I partook in a relationship course, out of pure curiosity to discover how people are being taught to have healthy relations with one another and I was genuinely very surprised with the information and “knowledge” that was portrayed and given to me, I was informed that unconditional love did not exist, of course me being me straight away questioned this and disagreed with what she was saying but then she followed to explain that she believed all people expect certain conditions when they have relations with other people, for example I was told that if you make an agreement with your partner and end up breaking it that you then lose your partner's trust and therefore portray that you don’t in fact love them as if you did you would of stayed true to your word, you would of stuck to the condition that you promised you would stick to.

I do not believe this to be true, I agree yes it is important to have integrity, but I believe it is also important to understand that when your living in flow and living spontaneously life always brings you situations that you never saw coming, life always surprises you with twists and turns and if you are solely aligned with your truth and are living your best in your NOW experience that you will always jump at the opportunity to seize whatever chooses to flow your way, therefore if you choose to for example take up one of these opportunities when you had planned to come home and help your partner with the house chores or you had a dinner date planned ect, I do not think that it is fair to hold your partner to this change in heart and to hold them to not loving you because they changed their plans or didn’t stick to the agreement they had made. I believe that as a loving accepting partner you should accept that plans are always subject to change and that you should accept that things always happen for a reason and not to hold that against your partner. I believe that if you truly love your partner or friend that you have to allow them the freedom to choose whatever they wish to choose in every present moment no matter what agreement you may have had, as the most important thing in a relationship and life is your OWN happiness. I believe a relationship can only ever truly thrive if you are both responsible for your own happiness, not having to rely on one another to keep you happy but to just forever hold space for them so that they are free to wander the depths of their own universe following what calls to them without having expectations over what they choose to do, and not expecting them to always stick to an agreement, as if you truly love your partner you will always want them to be following their heart and following their own inner calling not allowing for anyone else's opinions to affect or change the course of their life.

You see I believe the reason why a lot of relationships fail is due to the amount of conditions there are within their relationship and the amount of ridiculous expectations that we all hold over one another. Relationships break down so quickly now a days, in the beginning you fall head over heels for each other, you're both just so infatuated by one another as you want to learn and discover everything about each other, you spend all of your spare time with each other and just immerse yourself into understanding one another's mind and world, you almost become blind to everything else that’s happening in your life as your world now consists of them and them only, you just focus and fixate on that intense new found love that you feel towards them. After a while this burning “love” begins to fade and you now have all of these new found commitments to one another. You now have a routine that entwins both of your lives but is solely reliant on compromises and agreed conditions. As beings we are all so different and never truly want to be surrounded by people or our partners all of the time, we all have our own dreams and own passions, but when we get in to a committed relationship we begin to lose a lot of ourselves trying to please the other and trying to ensure the happiness of our other half that we start to put our own dreams on hold, we put our “relationship” first as we become comfortable engulfed in the security of one another’s arms. This results in so much pressure being added to the relationship as you are both trying so hard to be true to your word, to stick to plans to stick to schedules that over time you start to grow a resentment for your partner, you start to blame your partner, you become bitter and you find you never have any time for yourself or to practice your own passions as your relationship takes up all of your time and life outside of work. The more committed you become to one another the more conditions come along with it, its the just the way it seems to manifest as many of us fail to understand that our partners happiness is not our responsibility, and that actually if we really loved our partners, we would love them no matter what they choose to do. No argument or disagreement or decision would possibly change our love for them. But when our relationships follow this unhealthy pattern as time passes, you suddenly awake to the reality that you are unhappy, you feel trapped you want to be free to have new experiences with new people and to find yourself again as you’ve spent so long immersed and intensely entwined with your partner that you have lost all sense of self, you have lost all independence as you have been thinking for the two of you for so long now that you no longer even know how to just think for yourself, you no longer even know what you want or what makes you happy as you’ve been focusing on how to make the relationship thrive and grow. This only results in one thing, a breakup, and normally a very painful one.

When you wake up and realise your unhappy because of your lack of self love and independence, you begin to take this out on your partner you begin to blame them for suffocating you for holding you back, because after all it’s easier to blame others than to take responsibility yourself. Things continue to go down this road but as you’ve become so reliant on them for your happiness that you have also grown terrified of being without them, for you don’t even remember what that feels like anymore, you now find yourself so attached to this person but so resentful for this attachment that you find yourself in an all consuming battle within, you feel so much love and so much hate all at the same time that you just find it so hard to let go even though you know you are so unhappy. Eventually you both end up not being able to take all of the ups and downs as this has been happening continuously throughout the relationship as you have both been unaware the whole time that you haven’t truly been loving one another unconditionally, despite being unaware you have always had that feeling within you that you didn't feel completely fulfilled or happy, but you’ve pushed this aside and tried to convince yourself otherwise as you wanted to convince yourself you were in love and that you had no reason not to be happy. You never understood that your love has always been based on “if you do this i’ll be happy” “if you stick to this agreement I will continue to love you” “as soon as you change your mind or change your plan i’ll be unhappy” you had no idea that the whole time you had been holding each other to so many expectations that you had been suffocating one another the whole time, you had both unconsciously manifested this unhealthy attachment to each other, you didn’t even realise that you were actually holding each other back and you had actually been preventing one another from growing throughout the whole relationship.

Any of this sound familiar? It’s safe to say this has happened in the majority of my relationships and it wasn’t until fairly recently that it all clicked for me, I had always understood the difference between conditional love and unconditional love but never had really experienced anything other than this type of relation that I speak of. It wasn’t until I was in a clear grounded space in my self that I realised that I hadn’t truly been loving myself or any of my partners properly as I had always had so many expectations of them and of my self, when they didn’t meet my expectations I would get upset and take it out on them, when really I was the only person responsible for my unhappiness the whole time, for the only thing that I can truly control is my own reaction and my own choices. Real love does not come with any conditions or expectations. Real love does not die or dissipate it is just subject to change with life and the things that choose to unfold around us. Unconditional love is endlessly loving yourself and others with no expectation of reciprocation or reward, but simply always holding space for yourself and others with complete acceptance and appreciation for all that is and with complete acceptance that you cannot control or change your partner, if you choose to be with them and share your life with them you have to allow them the freedom to make choices based on their own accord without any influence from you and without expecting them to do as you wish. Unconditional love consists of loving yourself and others at all times no matter what they have said or done, therefore simply loving them for who they are as a being no matter what happens or changes and accepting that when you hold space for one another you actually allow the relationship to continuously grow and flourish as you are allowing both yourself and your partner to stand in your own truth’s following your own passion’s. This way even if circumstances do change and your partner meets someone else or you have a lesson elsewhere that doesn't involve them, your love for them will never die or dissipate it will just change as everything is subject to change, that is how the universe works, for nothing will or possibly can ever stay the same.

Unconditional love is about loving the universe and all that exists passionately, fiercely and ultimately freely. Always Realizing and acknowledging that unconditional love is an ultimate state of being, not a passing feeling or emotion and if you have the ability to just stop loving someone then the truth is you never truly loved them in the first place, you only loved them based on conditions, you loved them because they did what you wanted them to do, you “loved” them as long as they fit in to your image of who you wanted them to be. For the truth is that we are going to have many soul connections with many people in this lifetime, I do not believe we have only one soul mate, I believe we have many and every one that comes in to your life is there as an important mirror for your growth and you should never hold yourself back from that connection that you feel with them.

So how do you have a healthy relationship based from an ultimate state of unconditional love for all that is? I have recently discovered how this all works, before I never really understood how this was truly possible as I didn’t know anything else to be real. I believe that when you are operating from a state of unconditional love, you accept everything that unfolds, you accept all lessons and people that come into your life have found there way to you for a reason and are a vessel to much more knowledge of self and gained wisdom, I believe when in a conscious relationship with someone that is invested in there own spiritual growth and self discovery that the only commitments you really make with one another is to always remain responsible for your own happiness, to always follow your own passions and dreams and to ultimately always hold space for your loved one in your life but not expecting them to always be there by your side physically, allowing and accepting that in order for your relationship to be truly healthy and thriving that freedom is the most important thing. As long as you allow each other the freedom to stand in your own truth’s accepting all that unfolds is a necessary part of yours and their growth as you have chosen to stand by each other's side energetically, you have chosen to be endlessly growing and flourishing on your own path’s whilst sharing love, knowledge and wisdom with one and another. As long as your truth’s both align you will stay continuously growing side by side as partners of life and love, but as soon as you find yourself having to compromise or change your mind or feel held back by your partners ideals or expectations, that is when I believe it is time to set each other free, whether that be temporary or for good. I believe it is important to set each other free to encourage one another to follow the path that they desire with full trust and faith that if it’s meant to be you will cross paths once again and this time you will have new gained knowledge of self and will have so many experiences and stories to exchange with one another. You will still have so much love for each other as you didn’t try to hold each other back for security reasons or selfish purposes of wanting them to be by your side at all times, you didn’t try to change one another, you allowed each other to be free to follow your hearts desires, as although you may have had to set each other free physically due to differences in life choices or decisions, you never stopped holding space for them in your hearts because you love them unconditionally you always have and you always will. No amount of time will ever destroy that eternal bond or connection as you have allowed each other the freedom to stand in your own authentic truth’s. You haven’t suffocated them or expected them to follow the dream you desire to create, you have ultimately accepted and appreciated them as their own unique and independent being, you have accepted that every person has a powerful mind of their own therefore will never have all of the same ideas or desires for life.

When you love unconditionally you accept all that is and you begin to understand that the more you try to control people and situations in your life the more pain and misery you bring to yourself and your lives, the more unhappy you continuously become as the truth is the only thing you can ever control is your own reaction to what unfolds or happens around you, as nothing is ever happening to you it is merely happening around you, unfolding around you for you to witness and gain wisdom from. When acting from a state of unconditional love nothing fazes you, if your partner chooses to leave you for a while or to move on you may experience feelings of sadness but you understand that all emotions are temporary and fleeting and once you have processed these feelings and let them go you are left with nothing but unconditional love and acceptance for all that is. You begin to accept that things always happen exactly as they should, that there are no mistakes and that no one ever really has the power to hurt or harm you unless you although them to. You understand that you are completely and utterly whole, you always have been and always will be no matter if you have a partner or not. You begin to understand that when you let go of all expectations of how others “should” treat you or what you believe they “should” do or how they “should” behave you bring your self so much more peace and harmony because you loving accept all that is, you accept each and every person's divine unique path.

You acquire complete understanding and acceptance that you are the only person that will be with you throughout your life, we are not here to find our “other half” for we are already whole and complete beings of unconditional love, we are here to experience life, be life and to love unconditionally at all times. We are here to walk our own paths, follow our own passions and desires, we are here to be our own independent beings of light. We will meet many beautiful beings along our path that we learn from, grow with and exchange love with and then we will move on, the only thing we can control is how we choose to go in to our relations with people. Would you prefer a to be apart of a relationship based on conditional love? A fleeting love that only really results in disappointment, sadness and resentment for one another. Or would you prefer to be in a relationship based on unconditional love and acceptance for all that is, loving yourself and one another endlessly no matter what they choose to do or say, you simply love them for who they are whilst only being responsible for your own happiness, therefore forming a bond with another that is forever growing and flourishing no matter what changes life brings your way.

Ask yourself, am I capable of this? Because I know you are, I believe in the divine power you all process I believe with all of my heart and soul being that we are all ultimate beings of unconditional love, all any of us really want is to be accepted and loved for the way that we are and not have to be constantly worried or fearing that our partner or that people will lose interest or love you any less if you change your mind or decide to follow your calling that they may not see the value in, all we truly want is to be loved unconditionally always and forever. All we want is to be accepted and cherished but to also have complete and utter FREEDOM to go and be as we please. Well guess what you are FREE, you are more free than you realise and you have endless capability to achieve all that you wish for. Follow your heart, follow your passions and desires, stand strong in your truth and don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise of what you believe to be real and true to you. You are a beautiful creative being full of so much love and passion.

For you are unconditional love itself.

The Energy That I Feel. (February 24th 2018)

" I am a vessel of Endless Growth and Eternal Love" - Merrie Tucker

I flow to and from the emotions I feel, I move in waves of energy. As I stand in the centre of the forest I feel at one with all, as I stand here surrounded by trees that engulf my every direction, I think about life outside of society, outside of what we are taught to think and believe. I think about galaxies that exist beyond the naked eyes perception, and beyond the mind's comprehension. I think about what’s lurking outside of this universe, all the magic that is lost to the sky and beyond the stars. My mind wanders to the deepest and darkest parts of life, the parts many people refuse to revisit, my mind wanders over the pain and brutal abuse that takes part as a “norm” in this universe. My mind tries to understand how and why a human being can be so cruel, evil and completely emotionless towards another being. My heart cries when I hear about stories and tales of what has taken place under my presence and being, My heart trembles at the sight of pain, although I myself feel anger, sadness and pain, I could never imagine hurting any person. My mind just can’t comprehend ever hurting someone for the sake of causing pain, and for the sake of gaining power and status over a person. Surely it’s obvious that by inflicting pain over another, you are directly causing pain to yourself. That by manipulating someone and lying to someone, that you are truly directing this on to yourself. How does your mind somehow comprehend that by causing pain to another is ever going to affect your life in any sort of positive way? My heart grows sad, knowing that so many people don’t know how to love. To even think about the huge amount of people that don’t know how to love; to love themselves or to love another, My heart grows confused at how we have forgotten how to love. How to love without any expectation, how to love without lies and manipulation, it beats harder when it sees the truth. When it sees how humanity has fallen down, how we have lost our spiritual beings, through the programming and disruption that’s taken place in our minds. My soul continues to tell me that everything's fine: i’m guided and protected at all times. But I still feel all that is around me, my being feels every moment, every word, every look, every action. It feels all the pain and sadness that is consuming the air, it wants to help, to heal and to love the energy that is so lost and confused. My heart says it’s possible, my mind says maybe not. My eyes grow tired from the tears that keep coming by, Things can be different for that I am sure, we all have so much power that it’s impossible to ignore. 


As I stand still staring out into the sky, my eyes grow mesmerized by the glowing bright lights that echo from the thousands of stars that consume my sight. I feel lost in my imagination wandering what if? What if I could see what is out there, what if I could connect to the energy that is beyond this tiny planet. My energy flows and grows emitting positive thoughts out into the beyond, sending love to the ancestors that have come and gone. I grow happy as I think about all the good that has been done in this world, all the amazing people that have encouraged positive change to the world, I empathize with the pain that they went through to make the world a better place. I feel inspired to make that change, to help the world move on to the next, new, brighter place. My heart beats harder when I think of all the possibilities, all the hope that is still left among the earth, it pours love upon every being that is apart of this world and beyond.


My tears stop coming as I let go of the sadness that once overtook my mind, I breathe in the love and blow out the sadness and unnecessary doubt, It's time to rise and let go of the past.


Right before me I have an endless possibility of growth and of eternal love, it's time to stand up and unite with my brothers and sisters and to be that change we wish to see in the world. Start loving without expectation, Start giving without reciprocation, Start being without thought, Start smiling without force. It doesn't take alot to give love and to be love, all it takes is compassion and thought. Think before you act, empathise with your neighbours, elevate your energy by being the light you wish to see. After all you are an oracle of light and of love, so open your eyes and start giving some more. The more you give the more you receive, it's a simple rule that you will not regret to perceive. Look beyond what your eyes see, look deeper into the truths of this world, look beyond and you will see all there is and all that there will ever be. The Answer is Love can you still not see?


Love is all there is and all that there will ever be.

Nature Vs Technology (10th Novemeber 2017)

Technology has taken over, or some would say it is in the process of taking over. Our everyday lives are consumed by technology, we rely on it for everything, our phones provide us with “everything that we need”, our society as it is today would be lost without technology, we have become solely reliant on it for our lives to carry on. The truth is technology has been placed in the power of the wrong hands, it has been used to abuse and manipulate the environment, the animals and the people who live among this earth, it has been used in a way that is continuously harming us all, killing us all whilst slowly removing us of our strength and our power.

Instead of relying on our natural resources to provide us with everything that we need and relying on our own physical bodies and minds to create something, to build something or grow something, we have created machines, computers, mobile phones, transport and factories to do our jobs for us; while we lay back and live a life of “luxury” in a reality that isn’t real. We have chosen to populate this earth with incredible amounts of unnecessary manufactured objects. We have brushed nature aside and instead of being loyal allies and neighbours we have just abused our environment more and more, taking it for everything it has and not giving it anything back; instead of being at one with nature, we have become its greatest betrayer.

The saddest thing about it all, is that as a human race we are led to believe that we have no other choice but to follow this way of living, that life is “just the way it is”. All along so many people knowing the truth about how we affect our environment and how badly we treat it as well as the animals and one another, We all know how disconnected we have become, and how cold hearted our leaders have been along the way.The people that we have always looked up to, trusted and followed with all of our blind confidence, we have followed the churchmen, the priests, the politicians in hope that they will lead us the right way on to the right path; the path to heaven.

We have feared all along that if we do not follow the leaders and their ideas of what's right for us, that we will live a miserable life and then go on to hell when we die. We have been lied to and convinced that heaven and hell are any different, that there is a difference between good and evil when the truth is both aspects would not simply be if it wasn't for one another, and in order to live a healthy balanced life that meant us actually balancing both the good and the bad that lives within us all, and that actually it was all about finding harmony between both energies not fearing the dark, but truly embracing it. We have been programmed to think that you have to live your life doing the “right thing” when really all along we have been led to believe another lie; that right and wrong even exist. There simply is no possible way to tell another person the “right” and “wrong” ways in which to live their lives, it is simply always down to a matter of perspective. Every person has their own perspective and truth, every person has a choice and right on this earth as a born human being to explore this world alone, to find the truth through their own eyes, to discover their own “right” from “wrong”, without any external influence trying to convince them to do or be a certain way.

As a universal race we have been mislead for the whole time we have existed here on earth, although despite the majority there has been many religions, groups and communities that have stayed true to the real aspects and hidden magic that unfolds within this earth; the magic that is there waiting for you, waiting for when you're ready to see it and feel it. It’s time now to let go and detach yourself from the idea that technology and physical things will bring you true happiness, it’s time to connect back to the earth and start remembering the truths you already know deep within you.

Technology as a whole is the biggest misleading distraction from real life, it consumes you inside of  a virtual reality, a reality that doesn’t truly exist, but one placed in front of you as a distraction, to prevent you from discovering your true missions and passions. A reality that is solely based on your thoughts and feelings, a cold disconnected lonely reality, one in which you never feel ultimately happy. Don't get me wrong a lot of incredible things have been achieved through advances with technology, it isn't technology that is the problem but actually the way in which it's used, and the people who have the power to control it. It's very obvious to me that if things carry on the way that they are, and things continue to grow and advance and the people don't become aware of the negative effects it really does have on your body and your mind, that this planet will soon become one big virtual game, one that excludes real love and intimacy, one that is based on regiments plans and routines, a world filled with direction and false hope leading to an unhappy end result.

There's so much more to life than the latest gossip with a tv programme, the new advert based on the next best phone, computer, clothing item or the next best car. There's so much beyond the idea of thinking that life can be bought, or spent. A beautiful Life can simply be created through natural ways of living, reading and writing instead of watching a film or a tv series, meditating instead of worrying and overthinking, going for walks and having picnics instead of going out to the pub and getting drunk. I could list many good ways in which to spend your precious time, but only you can choose and know how you would really like to be spending your time or what you really want to discover and learn about, whether it’s; playing music, singing, drawing, playing sports or reading etc. all of these natural and healthy hobbies will massively elevate your lives and improve your health, whereas staying inside and spending all your time watching things, procrastinating or just being constantly consumed by social media, will only cause and attract a lot of negativity in your lives, it will cause you to experience anxiety and depression, it will honestly affect your emotional, physical and mental health in a truly pessimistic way.

Connect within to the natural you, the present you, the raw beautiful you now, the perfectly imperfect you, the ultimate you away from virtual ways of living, nature has all you need and all you could ever ask for, just look around you at the incredible beauty that engulfs your surroundings; every flower, every leaf, every sound every breeze, when you start to see through the eyes of love, you will begin to see a universe so vastly full of potential and opportunity that you could never ever be possibly bored or restless. Put your phones aside and start dreaming outside of what others may think or believe, connect to the universe and become a vessel of endless growth and pure love. The nature awaits for your presence, it has always been waiting for you to return. Be love and step outside of your mind, open your eyes and see what is awaiting you on the other side.

"Look deep in to nature, you will understand everything better" - Albert Einstein

It's Time To Unite (16th October 2017)

The fact that the planet and enviroment is getting destroyed and completely broken down by a bunch of selfish money hungry people with emense powers of illusion breaks my heart completely. We all have to do our part and be a part of the solution.. not a part of the problem. We cannot continue to allow their authority over our minds and our hearts, we are all free flowing beings capable of such amazing things. Together we can all create a world filled with peace, love and a universal community. We are all one, and until we all start to live by this finite truth, we are giving away our power and allowing ourselfs to be brainwashed and controlled. We are all love, an endlessly evolving energy; but over time we have allowed our minds to programmed resulting in alterations of our true judgements and perceptions of who we really are. 

We need to start living our lifes self-sufficently, buying our food and other health products from small local businesses ones who consist of good ethics, that have a genuine care for both yours and the enviroments well-being. When it comes to vegtables and dairy products be sure to only purchase free range and organic products, otherwise were choosing to polute our bodies instead of truly cherishing them. We have to start screwing over big cooperations, we cannot continue to rely on them for our sources of food, when they are fueled and ran by pure evil and with no intention of serving the greater good.

Im not going to settle for the "inevitable" we need to make changes, big changes, and those changes start from within. War is errupting and we have so much more power than we think. I dont know about all of you but im completely determined to live a full happy life and ill go down fighting all the way. We need to save this beautiful planet.. a revolution needs to begin and we have the power to start it. It all starts with you;

Change yourselfs, your minds and your habbits and we can all begin to make big changes to the universe. Mediate, excersise, eat healthy, research the truth and never just accept the "knowledge" that were given, find your truth, find your passions and be the glorious light that you are. 

My love goes out to the beautiful souls that dont bow down to all of the bullshit lies, corruption and minipulation.💜

We can all make a difference but only if we believe that we can, believe in yourselfs and the power that you ultimately pocess. We can change the course of the human race, we can save ourselfs and the universe. Connect within, silence your mind and then you will be shown the next step to take. 

You are Life in it's purest form (8th September 2017)

What does your age really mean about you? The is answer is very little, the only real signifigance it calculates is the amount of physical years you have been conscious in this life time. Age excludes how spiritually aware you are, how much you truely know, how much you truely feel and the waking expeirences you have had. You see this society is built on rules and regulations, limitations set purley to hold you back, to keep you an obdient citizen of the community for as long as they can get away with it. 

I used to feel very trapped in the illusion of age, restricted by the guidelines and expectations for what i was and was not "cable of" or "ready for." Society has led us to believe in these illusions, the idea that age determines how mentally and emotionally developed you are, supposidly suggesting how intelligent you must be. But this is far from the truth, we are all born ready for everything and anything, we are all born with pure eagerness to learn and grow, and with a huge capacity to love. We are all born on our own divine missions to discover our truths. 

The big questions that used to linger my mind alot, "what is life?" "how does one require overal happiness?", questions that I now realise have very simple answers, actually incredibly obvious answers. In our hearts and our souls we all know the answers to these questions, but over time humanity has been led to believe in the greatest lie of all; seperateness. We have been programmed, minipulated and controlled in to becoming part of the "human race" as it is today. 

The fact that we have to even ask our selfs these questions makes my heart break, in realising that over the incredible amount of years on this planet, that as a human race we have somehow lost our way. We have tortured each other, fought agaisnt each other, stole from eachother, lied to eachother over and over, we have been inflicting so much pain on to one another, we have slowly been destroying eachother aswell as being completely oblivious to the fact that all along we have been destroying ourselfs. 

Somehow we have all forgotten who we truely are and what the point to life is. You are life, we are all life. Life doesnt exsist, life simply just is. You are not seperate from life, it isnt a task or a test, you are life in its purest form, an enormous burst of light. You have all the power to create your own reality, it isnt just created for you. Everythings connected, each and every being on this earth, nothing is simply more or less important than anything else. Together we all make up life itself, as one. 

Everything you do, say or think goes on in endless ripples of energy fluctuating and vibrating throughout the atmosphere, effecting every single finite thing, every detail makes up the dna of the vibrations of the universe. No matter your age, what you look like, no matter where your from or what you choose to believe, you are so important, you impact everything that sourrounds us. You, me, us together decide how we effect ourselfs and our universe that we are so blessed to live amoung.

Humanity as a whole have forgotten to love themselfs. They have forgotten about their true nature, which is to love, we are not human beings we are celestrial beings living in the form of a human. They have fallen under the illusion of fear and sepeartness, the route to all evil, the fear of not being good enough or not having enough, the idea that we have no power when we stand alone. This has resulted in us allowing an authority of power to be held above us, encouraging us to compete to be the best, to win, to have the most money, the best house, to have the most attractive partner. No one ulitmately has any power over you, because each and everyone of us is equal in our own beautiful ways, we all pocess emense unlimited potentials of power. 

No one but you can decide when you are ready to open up to the incredible abundence of the universe, only you can stand up and face your fears straight in the eye, face your demons and shadows that you allow to have power over your minds,hearts and souls. Only you can say no more, to refuse to allow this pain to go on in your lives. Why choose fear? When you can choose love; love all that is around you, all the people, the animals and most importantly love yourself. Treat your self with paitence and care, it doesnt matter what stage of your life you are at, it doesnt matter how old you are, its never too early and its certaintly never to late. Follow your heart, allow yourself to make mistakes that enable you to grow, to understand who you are and what you do and dont enjoy, its all about trial and error. 

We have come here to be human, to experience sadness, pain, loss, anger happiness and love, but these emotions do not and will not ever define who you are as a being, do not allow for yourself to be indentified by these emotions. Emotions are free flowing vibrations, we all expereince them but you have to learn to allow yourself to feel them whilst also observing the fact that they are constantly coming and going. They arent you! They are simply there for you to experience, feel and then to let go, understanding that they do not define who you are. You are a free spirit, you can do think and be what ever you choose to. 

Let all the pain and fear melt away, like how the ice melts gradually allow it to defrost and then evaporate, let go of all of the worries because tomorrow those worries wont matter, its pointless doubting yourself, OWN the real you, loud and proud. Connect to and with everything that resonates with you, let your self flourish and dont ever stay in the stagnant delusional state of negative thinking. 

Lets make this a beautiful world a place filled with kindness and peace, a place where we love everything and everyone as they are, a place where we accept everything and everyone has there own unique role to play here on earth, we are all here on our own divine missions to englightenment, a state in which we all return to our higher selfs.

A universe of love, compassion and acceptance. If this sounds like a world you want to create, all you have to do is simply be, and always believe. Believe in yourselfs, believe in humanity, because together we can take back our power. Under every persons mask, no matter their ego built personalities, there is a deep searching for true love, compassion and an acceptance of who we really are. 

The first step is accepting your darkness for what it is, and to love it will all of the love that you have, when you begin to tansform that pain in to love, it begins to become your saviour, your strength and marks your sheer perservance throughout the darkest of times and experiences. Always there ressuring you that even when everything felt and feels like its breaking down, beyond repair, that it will always get better, and that you and you are alone are strong enough to overcome anything. 

There are no right or wrong descions or choices, only lessons, lessons enabling further self-knowledge and acceptance. When I think back at things that used to tear me apart, they no longer hurt me they no longer cause me pain, only make me feel a sense of accomplishment for getting through and always persisting on becoming happier and healthier. In the process of letting go, you can never seem to imagine yourself living another life, or that you could ever be any different, but as you continue to believe and trust in the universe, you will begin to vibrate on a higher frequency, you will start to attract all the postive things in to your life, you will stop repeating all of the same old lessons, never truely moving on. You will finally start to grow, shedding the old you.

You are and can be the creator of your own destiny. You have all the tools and abilities, make it work, make your life beautifully unique and create all that you could possibly wish for. Anything you ask for that comes from the heart will be anwsered and provided for by the universe, aslong as it serves the greater good.  

YOU ARE LIFE, you have the power to manifest all of your dreams.

Intelligence comes in many forms (5th August 2017)

The Education system is something that I believe played a huge part in the formation of my ego and the fog that became apart of me for so long. My experiences with school have been hugely negative to say the least, from the very beginning I dreaded it, I would try and find any excuse or reason to avoid going or showing up. I always made myself feel really bad about this throughout my whole journey in the school years, from the age of 6-17 I always felt different, almost alone like no one understood my reality, or the things I felt or thought? I spent so long going to and from school everyday becoming more and more depressed about the fact it was an expected law for me to be there all day every day investing all my time into learning about pointless things, pointless subjects, the idea that I was filling my mind with so many things that I didn't care about, and actually the thing that got me the most was not having a choice in that matter, not having the choice to be learning about amazing things everyday. But always being told education was the most important thing, that in order to achieve a successful life that meant reaching pretend goals and achieving the highest grades in order to be seen and judged as a capable member of society. The whole time having our brains programmed and controlled into believing a number or a letter written on a piece of paper is what will go on to define us, defining our capability and our intelligence.

I found it incredibly hard to be present when in school, all I would be doing is worrying about not being good enough, not getting good enough grades that would lead to me not getting into a good college therefore not receiving good qualifications meaning I would go onto live a negative and miserable life. School for me created an illusion in my mind that a person could possibly be better or worse than anyone else, it created an air of authority over my thoughts and feelings, it tainted how I felt about myself every time I received a grade that was below what was expected for me. Over time I began to judge myself, compare myself to others and I just did not understand how despite the fact that I tried with my whole mind to learn all the things I was told I needed to learn I still just never actually achieved the goals that I felt I was deserving of, I always felt like I was bottom of the ladder and that I would never be able to climb to the top, because no matter what I did all the knowledge I was being taught would go in one ear and out the other. No matter how hard I tried to understand and remember what I was being told my mind never seemed to want to keep any of it in reach. It’s almost like a higher part of me was blocking myself from attuning to such pointless lessons and subjects, I knew all along I wasn't here to be learning what they were teaching me, and in fact I was meant to be here learning my own lessons, lessons of my choice. As I made my way through the higher years I began to form a hate of the world and everything among it, I felt like I had been getting trapped in an illusion, in a world that I didn’t truly feel was right for me? I wanted to be learning about nature, about how to grow things, how to build things, how to really live, how to love yourselfs and everyone around you and how to truly silence your mind.

For so many years I was unable to silence my mind, instead I continuously found myself to be over thinking, over accessing everything. As I got older the expectations of me got higher, my expected achievements became more and more, and I was growing continuously disappointed in myself as well as my teachers. I had a constant battle growing inside of me, a battle between what I felt and what I had been told. School made me believe I would never be able to achieve my goals, I lost hope of living a life outside of the system, I became bitter about life always thinking about ways to escape, always sitting in class staring out of the window imagining myself to be in the sun relaxing, in nature reading books, going on adventures, discovering myself and the world around us, I became fixated in a fantasy of the mind always and forever waiting for my life to start; waiting to be free. Because my everyday life grew so dull as I was constantly surrounded by things I had grown to despise, I had no choice but to live inside my mind and to just imagine what lay outside of this world I was being led to believe in. I couldn’t believe that life didn’t have more to it, I just knew deep down that life truly existed outside of expectation, outside of what we were told was ”right” and “wrong” for us. My whole experience with education, actually set my life up with a lot of pain, a lot of misunderstandings and doubts, it created a programmed mind that I never choose to have, it made me see things in dysfunctional ways because I was never taught about “the power of the mind” and how to use it, I was never taught all the things I believe I had a right to be taught, I always believed I was being forced to live in a reality that I hated.

If it were down to me I would go about education in a very different way, I would be teaching children of their amazing endless capacities to create and manifest. I think it's ultimately unfair to force or make a child go to school and be taught the academic education, children deserve so much more. They deserve freedom to grow and learn, they need time to understand things when they're ready, without being told they aren’t trying hard enough or achieving “enough”, without being compared to another individual. They need to be encouraged to step outside of the mind, outside of logic. They deserve to wake up each day and discover what they want to explore and find, they should be encouraged to be silly, be daring and ultimately to never fear anything, but to always believe in themselves, always believing that you can achieve and do what ever your heart wants you to.

It’s so important how children are brought up, what influences surround them and what they are led to believe. Because the early years of their lives make up the programming of their mind that then goes on to affect and alter their perception and points of view throughout their whole entire existence.The beginning of your life will go on to truly paint your future. Despite the fact that the majority of us have started our lives among this programming, this idea that what you can see is all that matters, the idea that you have to follow a made-up system to be successful. Despite this negative start to our lives, it’s never too late to change the course of your life, to change the ways in which you see and view the world, is never too late to say no more. All of us have been led to believe that the “system” is a positive and stable path to follow, trust me it’s truly is not, I tried to follow it with my everything and only ended up losing my path completely. Don’t allow for your minds to stay among the ideas of better or worse, good or bad, right from wrong all of these concepts make up the unhappiness and discontentment that you may be experiencing with your life.

If you're reading this and you are still in school, don’t freak out, don't suddenly quit everything,there's still so much time and chance to take back your power. Do what you need to do to get you where you want and need to be, commit to making your lives beautiful and take small steps to achieve your goals. Don’t fall under the illusion that you have to achieve great grades to achieve great lives, school will soon be a distant memory of yours, soon you will be living your life exactly how you choose to be. Just do your best in school in the areas that are important to you, but do not pressure yourself, do not ever allow yourself to become disheartened with your end results and outcomes, just accept that you’ve done your best and keep pushing forwards into bigger and brighter futures. Stay true to yourself learn and discover the things that make you happy when you have the time, stay as far away from social media as possible, it will only go on to affect your habitual thinking in a negative way. Realise your potential and your power, and start to create a picture you want to see. Do not follow an imaginary authority of power, find your own power and follow what lays inside of you.