My Ever Flowing Travel Journal

Australia 13th June until 25th August 2018

<3

So much happened and changed within me whilst being at the community so I am dedicating this whole page to delve in to my expierences there so please join me on my journey of self as I take you on a magical adventure of love, manifestation, ultimate empowerment and connection to the Divine..

 

These following pieces are all extracts from my diary as Raw as they could possibly come, typed up word for word.

Community at Natural Bridge

Famuinty will always have a place in my heart.

Wednesday 13th June 2018- First Day on the community

"It feels like I am exactly where I need to be, I am definitely home. It is truly beautiful here in murwillumbah, I am now living on natural bridge community with fam-unity, it is so peaceful here and I just surrounded by trees and mountains consume my vision and sight, I get to wake up to this beautiful breathtaking view that is placed before me. I feel so recharged and rejuvenated being away from the city, it’s just so loud in a city and there’s so much disconnection from authentic communication and interactions with one another, there just a makeup of shop followed by shop followed by shop again, just selling more and more shit, it’s just a big block of consumerism. I feel so connected to the earth, everything has truly aligned so perfectly I was so surprised how normal it felt getting a flight on my own. When I was on the plane I was sat next to a beautiful elder couple that I chatted to for most of the journey which was really lovely, when I arrived at the airport I figured out where the bus stop was and caught 2 buses to get me to murwillumbah town where will picked me up and he seemed and seems to be a very funny elder guy with a massive heart, he seems very fixated on the idea of aliens and other worldly beings as in the car journey back to the community he pretty much downloaded all the information he knew about the government and the inner earth on to me straight away, it’s lucky i’m not easily overwhelmed as it was a very intense first meeting haha, despite this is was an interesting download of information and i’m looking forwards to us being able to learn lots from each other.

He brought to the land and introduced me to a guy called matt, who showed me my room, he appeared very quiet and sad when I met him, he didn’t say much to me at all. After dropping off my bags I went in to the main house as my room was outside attached to the house and referred to as a ‘donger’, I walked in and there were Roy and Sarah. Roy seemed and seems very switched on, I wonder if he just talks the talk..or does he walk it also? it’s hard to tell at this current moment, it’s going to take me a little bit of time to figure him out I guess, as he seems very closed off, he doesn’t have very inviting energy but I will figure out the reasons as to why he is not very open.. I’m interested in getting to know him, despite this he did show a lot of interest in what my beliefs were and the experiences I’ve had as he literally sat and questioned my whole existence in a few hours. Sarah is a beautiful sweet soul, very innocent and pure, doesn’t say much but you can tell she’s picking it all up and choosing to remain an observer. The people here are beautiful they’ve all got really big hearts, and even though you can tell it’s a new progressing community, it has endless potential as the land is also incredibly beautiful, it’s paradise. I feel like I will have a lot to contribute to this place. in order to help it become the place that it wants to be. I am very excited about investing my time and energy in to these people and the land. I feel like I am finally in a place where I can actually make some positive change and impact the people around me in a truly beautiful way."

Thursday 14th June- Day Two <3 <3 <3

"Today is my second day on the community, I woke up and did some weeding with will this morning in the gardens it was so beautiful and sunny, such a perfect way to start the day, afterwards we went for a beautiful drive up in the mountains and had lots of chats and talks about life and spirituality and what our true beliefs were. I have truly realised how strong willed I am and how much i believe in myself and my experiences, and how much I trust my soul and higher self, I have learnt that I am very sure of myself, I have embedded beliefs in me of love, compassion, integrity and respect, despite this I am so open and willing to learn and grow from all the people around me. I feel very grateful to have had the upbringing that I have had and to have had such beautiful parents that always loved my unconditionally and who taught me many valuable things about life and also showed me who I wanted to be and how to treat others around me with love, care and ultimate patience. I feel very lucky to be who I am and to be filled with so much compassion towards others, myself and the world around me. I feel ultimately lucky to have been set up with such loving and beautiful values and morals, I feel grateful to have been given so much freedom all my life to enable me to choose who I wanted to be and to have always been showered with love, to have never been lied to or sheltered from anything around me, as its enabled me to be such an openly honest person and i don’t know any other way to be, straight up honesty with no sugar coated lies is just the way I am and couldn't wish to be any other way. I'm more eager than ever to continue spreading my light and love amongst all. Life just couldn't get any better, I just want to thank the universe so much for everything in my life and for always protecting me. I am so so grateful I don’t even know how to express the amount of gratitude I feel so just thank you, I love you so much."

Friday 15th June- 3rd day on the community

"I’m not sure how I feel today, there’s a lot of intense emotions flying around the community at the moment, there’s alot of conflict between the people and as i’ve just arrived I don’t really have a place to say anything or really get involved at all, I feel abit out of place in regards to it all as the two people I actually know and connect with are thinking of leaving if this situation doesn’t get resolved soon, therefore everything is very up in the air and i’m not sure where I stand or how I am meant to react in these situations. I love the land here it is truly beautiful and there’s so much potential for it to be this incredible safe haven, but at this current point its not consumed by very loving energy, more so toxic unwanted energy which is the opposite of what I wanted from coming to live in a “spiritual” community. I didn’t have any expectations of what this place was going to be but I am slightly surprised at how much conflict is happening around me and how little love is flying around and how disconnected everyone seems to be from one another. If Will and Roy do end up leaving I won’t be sticking around here for long as I am not sure yet if I connect with anyone else here. I haven’t met the women yet but haven’t heard the best things about them, but i’m taking all i’ve heard with a pinch of salt as the person who has fed me these stories isn’t exactly the most reliable source and is actually the cause of all of the toxic energy that is flying around so i refuse to listen to his opinions of them as there most likely very twisted. I am still slightly nervous about meeting them this afternoon, despite this I am only expressing my concerns to you as I don’t need these thoughts consuming my mind, I am doing my best to be present in every moment and to take each situation that comes with love, compassion and understanding. I know my purpose and whether or not I or it fits in here will only become apparent as time ticks on, so I am going to remain patient with no expectations and just allow things to unfold how they are meant to, whilst remaining in my light. I am prepared and ready for anything therefore I will go where I am needed most, not taking anything personally and just reamaining a witness to the situations that are happening around me. You got this merrie!"

Saturday 16th June 2018- Realisation (stoned asf)

"Everything’s started to sink in now, the reality of my life and the people that I am living with. When I first got here it was new and unknown, after 4 days it’s become predictable to me theres not alot of love here between these people as they are seriously lacking love for themselves which just means there is constant drama and arguments and just so many chinese whispers spread around. I’m going to give myself another week or two to decide if I want to stay here or not as I want to allow things to unfold before making any rash decisions, in the meantime i’m going to stay more independant and solely focus on myself and my own healing, instead of focusing so much on these people like I always do and then I end up getting to attached and too involved with everyone around me, but i’m not going to allow myself to do that this time as I need to go within and seek some answers from myself I have some healing to do and that is my first priority. I came here to give myself time out from the matrix, to connect to the earth and myself. Stay focused Merrie you know everything is temporary don’t get sucked in to the dramas of everyone elses lives, focus on yourself, there are important lessons amongst all of this, keep your eyes , mind and soul open and aware. Meditate every day, either morning or arvo, keep reflecting and observing the thoughts and feelings that you are experiencing as a result of the people in your environment and the energy fields all around you. Remain a witness and you will have all the clarity and awareness within reach. Focus on your path to remain in your light, love and compassion, as this radiates into the universe in ripples and fluctuations of energy, vibrating and effecting every detail of the dna of your life and reality, protect your energy, be sure to emmitt all the positivity and happiness that you can. AHHH its so hard not to get caught up in everyone else’s emotions and feelings, it’s hard and draining being such an empathetic being.. I LOVE YOU. KEEP MOVING FORWARDS!"

Sunday 17th June 2018- Market Day <3

"I feel lighter today, more free and peaceful. I woke up at 5:30am and had a lovely morning getting ready and listening to music, I then made a beautiful breakfast and then left for the markets with Will, Roy and Ashleigh to pick up all of our fresh fruit and veg for the week. It was a beautiful atmosphere at the markets and there was a lovely musician there playing beautiful songs portraying happiness, peace and love, it was truly so cleansing to be up so early in the sun blessed with incredible vibes and people all around me. Ashleigh is a beautiful and powerful women and I believe we will have a healing and strong relationship over time. I feel more centered and calm now that i’ve met the women here and got a feeling for their energy. Charly is a beautiful strong goddess who is just so much fun, I feel like she's really one of my soul sisters and that in time we will have lots of adventures together, I just love how straight up and strong willed she is, I really ressiante with how honest she is as this is such a rare aspect too find in a person. I feel grateful to have such beautiful empowered women around me.

Since matt got asked to leave the energy has become more relaxed and everyone seems like they have had a weight lifted off of their shoulders therefore the space has been cleared for everyone to start some deep reflection of self and start to go within without feeling threatened in their home surroundings. I feel connected and clear, my mission is to be of service to the land and the people whilst I am here and i feel so blessed and lucky to have been guided here by the universe and my higher self. I finally have the space and time to write and be without a single worry or concern in my life. I am a vessel of endless growth and eternal love and I am here to give my love to all with no expectation of reciprocation or reward. Each day is special and withholds so many opportunities and lessons and im son open and ready to receive them all, bring them on, i’m ready to grow."

Monday 18th June 2018- Connection with like-minded souls

"I feel very peaceful and centered today the energy here has become a lot calmer making it more of a loving environment to be in. The decision to get matt to leave has just benefited the whole community so much, everyone is so much happier. Although I feel alot of compassion for him and his being, he has alot of self-work and healing to do and he is at a point where he is too carless with his energy therefore he just throws it around and harms the people around him. I wish him all the best with his healing for he really is a beautiful soul underneath all of the pain and traumas that consume his body. The energy is truly flowing and I feel very positive and excited for my present and future moments to arise and for my future days to come here. Today I fixed the barbed wire fences in order to stop the chickens escaping from there pen and then I went and helped promote the growth of the trees by putting cardboard around each tree and then putting mulch on top to prevent the weeds from growing and absorbing all of the nutrients from the trees. I then sat and updated the help-x website and got in contact with a few open-minded individuals, I am excited to see what new fun energies come into this place and i’m excited to watch this place grow and flourish. I’m also really excited to make positive changes here and to help harnise beautiful energy and to create more of a loving atmosphere. I am in the best place mentally and spiritually to give my time and energy to this place without it taking a toll on my happiness which is amazing as I am of service to this place for as long as it serves me.

I had a lovely evening with Roy and Elliott last night we all connected and had lots of great conversations about life and world around us and our ultimate beliefs and it was refreshing to all share the same truth but from our own unique perspectives. It is clear to me me I have been drawn to these people at this perfect time for a higher reason and I feel blessed to be here right now apart of something incredibly beautiful- the start of true alignment with self for us three for sure, this is the start as we are now able to be mirrors for one another so that we are always reflecting the truth from the outside so that we can build more awareness of self. We all have the same vision and are more than excited to start new projects and to create new ideas and have lots of fun adventures together. Thank you universe and angels for guiding me here, I feel home, I feel genuinely so grateful to be alive healthy and ultimately connected to my truth. I love you."

Wednesday 20th June- The time is now

"I want to start by thanking the universe and spirit guides for blessing me with abundance, happiness and love, I feel so much gratitude for my life. I would like to ask for the universe to bring me an opportunity my way to start making an income from where I am here on the community, I am willing to do what is required of me and I am so open to all and any opportunities that you bring my way for growth. I would like to earn an income just so that I can sustain myself while I live here and so that I can stay here for longer without needing to leave to find work. My heart mind and soul are wide open and I am ready to receive all that you have instore for me. I am at a point where I feel very present and happy in my now experience, I feel more content than I have ever felt in my life and am more than excited for each moment to grace my presence, I am manifesting my life each day and couldn't be happier with the amount of beauty that surrounds and consumes my whole soul being. I feel so passionate about changing the world and helping to awaken humanity by heightening my awareness and compassion each day, I am the best version of myself I have ever been and am just so enthusiastic about remembering all of my souls truth's that have been forgotten through the disruption of programming that’s been imploded on my mind all my life. Trust me when I say I have become the observer of my thoughts and feeling, I have become very still and present I have began to live a truly equanimous life. I am ready for anything, bring me challenges and tests as I am so eager to earn and to grow endlessly. As I raise my awareness and vibration I am raising the vibration of the planet as a whole. My mission is to be a warrior of peace and love and I feel so grateful to be walking this path. Bring on everything you believe I am ready for as I am at a point where I am more than open to receiving it. I am practicing what I preach and I feel more alive than ever. I am an open vessel for love and growth. Thank you for everything. I manifest my whole reality with my thoughts.

I’ve just had a flush of realisations come to me about my time in Melbourne, for one the amount of confidence I gained in myself through working at the call center : Red Energy, before working there I couldn’t/didn’t believe I could comfortably or confidently speak to people on the phone, through working there I proved to myself I can do anything I invest my energy in to even if my mind tries to doubt me or make me fear not being good enough or capable of doing things, I now know I can do ANYTHING, also thanks to myself for finally regaining my independence through detaching myself from attachments to people in my life and for setting myself free from others expectations of what they thought I was or who they knew me to be. From setting myself free from all expectations on how or what will unfold and for putting all of my trust in to the universe and for taking a huge leap of faith. I left my bubble of comfort and security in Melbourne and set off in to my future with no idea what was in store for me and the universe pulled through for me and brought me all I could want and could ever ask for. I also indulged in a lot of drugs when I was living in Melbourne, which was a lot of reckless fun and became all-consuming after a while, but a lot of beauty and growth came from me being in constantly altered states, therefore I have learnt the power of drugs and how beautiful they can be when taken around and with the right people in the right environment. I have also learnt how quickly drugs can consume and take over your life if you don’t have moderation or balance in your life. I have learnt to never doubt my capability as every time I have ever taken a leap of faith in to the unknown I have always been guided and protected by the universe. I have learnt how much power I truly have and how independent I truly am. I have learnt that I do not need to rely on anything other than my own soul, heart and mind. I have learnt that I am an ultimate goddess of love and compassion and that I spread so much light and love everywhere I go amongst everyone I meet and exchange conversation with. I have ultimately learnt and experienced that I am unconditional LOVE."

Friday 22nd June 2018- 5th dimension of consciousness

"I feel like I am in paradise, it is truly beautiful here, it’s meant to be the first day of winter here today and it is so sunny so and warmth fills the atmosphere. We all had a beautiful day together yesterday, we all got together and deep cleaned the house and rearranged it to let go of all the old energy and to invite the new fresh positive energy to come in, we made the house look so beautiful it feels like a new home entirely. It felt really nice to all come together and put our time and energy into something beautiful that would impact us all in a truly beautiful way, it made me feel the connection between us all. We then sat and had a heart circle and all took turns to express our truth and our emotions we were and had been experiencing, which was really beautiful to be able to hold a safe space for everyone to stand in there truth and light without fear of judgement, despite this I was a little bit nervous as I am still not 100% confident around them when there all together at once, as I’ve only known them just over a week but I do really feel myself getting comfortable and settled as the days go by. I do truly feel like I am living in heaven and with complete awareness of self. The only thing holding me back before was being surrounded by un-aware people that projected their insecurities on to one another, but here everyone is responsible for their own happiness and are invested in the new paradigm and in to transitioning in to the 5th dimension of consciousness. There are no energy blockages here at the moment therefore the energy is free flowing through me, I am a vessel in which the source is channelling pure love and light through me. I am living in paradise and I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else. I am happy and content and on a mission to manifest pure beauty in every area of my life. Thank you for guiding me here. I AM HOME."

Sunday 24th June 2018- Please bring my some clarity

"I feel very content where I am, I feel like this land is truly magical and withholds so much beauty and powerful energy, it is such pure energy that it leaves you no choice but to face yourself in your rawest and truest form, as there is nowhere to run to or hide to here, all there is is the land, the trees and the mountains, there are no distractions here, you are forced to face self entirely. The only energy that I am not vibing with at the moment is the energy emitting from Will, his impulsive sexual energy, that he has been throwing around and projecting on to me for just over a week now. It has brought up some anger for me, some embedded anger with men and the fact that there intentions seem to always be of a sexual nature, from since I can remember I have been presented with older men that for some reason act completely unacceptable towards me, if not at work but in pubs/clubs even walking to school I’d get shouted at and beeped at by disgusting men. I am not sure as to why I keep being presented with this same lesson as I feel like I have dealt with the situation as best as I can ever timer they have come up and I have always been straight up and honest and stood my ground and never allowed for any man to take advantage of me. Therefore I am slightly confused as to why I am still attracting these types of energies as I feel like I am now at a point in myself that I am vibrating higher than this shit? Universe please bring me clarity to this situation and let me know what my role is to play here and how you want me to play it differently this time with these types of energies? Other than that I feel like I am in paradise with so many other incredible energies surrounding me so overall I am not going to let one energy affect my whole perception and experience. I feel very grateful to have been guided here as I wish to be nowhere else other than here. I know my mission is to change the world through healing myself and teaching others how to heals themselves also. It is my job to shine my light and to stand in my raw truth at all times, it is my job to spread beauty and awareness among all and to live among this new paradigm of love, for I AM love in its truest and rawest form. I am ultimately unconditional love."

Monday 25th June 2018- Time to face my reality ( I was abit harsh on myself)

"I have so many thoughts consuming my mind, I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions. I am realising that I have less faith and belief in myself than i’m constantly preaching to myself, I always doubt my capability and whether or not I am wanted or needed. I feel sad and alone without my partner in crime, I feel a bit lost without a partner or any close friend around me, It’s almost like I seem to think I someone else to be completely happy or comfortable, which I know really isn’t the case and that I only need myself for happiness, but these are the thoughts and feelings I am experiencing in this moment. When living in Melbourne I had the security of mao and knowing that no matter what she loved me and always would, and I also had the idea that Tre was going to come out and meet me and even though that never went according to plan as soon as it fell through I quickly fixated my mind on something else that brought me comfort. Due to the lack of comfortability in myself I have been continuously relying on my connections and relationships with others to feel valued and loved in order for me to stand in my light and truth at all times. Now that I am here completely surrounded by others that don’t know me or have any reason to love me, I find myself feeling alone and uncomfortable and finding it hard to speak up and really express my myself in the ways that I usually can. Although I'm feeling this i know that it's necessary for my growth to be realising these things about myself so i know that it is a step forward even if it hurts to actually face myself right now. I guess throughout my life I have been attaching myself to people for a false sense of comfort and security, which means that I now have to teach myself how to be confident in myself without questioning if i’m wanted or need and without always doubting myself and thinking that I can’t do things before I have even tried. This has all come up alot since I haven’t been drinking any alcohol as when I drink I express my raw honest truth and loud self but I guess i’ve realised that I find it hard to do so in my completely sober state without my ego constantly trying to knock me down and doubt me.

I didn’t realise how much i relied on alcohol as an outlet to express my feelings and the free crazy part of myself. It's all just hit me hard in the last hour and I am really shocked that I have not consciously released this until now, I guess despite knowing this deep down as I had become an alcoholic in melbourne I forgot how to be my sober self as I just survived off so much wine all day every day. I guess as i’ve always drank alcohol in most social situations I was led to believe I had no issues being my expressive honest self as any other time spent would of been alone therefore my time was spent being peaceful and relaxing with no need to talk and obviously around my family and friends I have no issue being my true authentic self, but i’m realizing now that I do have issues being my true authentic self around people that I don’t know very well and that in fact I find myself to be very self-critical and hard and I over worry about saying the right thing or being perfect or trying to be who everyone else needs me to be.

This is all very intense as this realisation has hit me pretty hard and has made me realise I have a lot more work to do on myself than I originally thought and that there's a lot more healing that needs to take place. I feel sad and disappointed in myself that I have allowed an addiction to prevent me from working and healing a huge part of myself that is so important. I shouldn’t need alcohol to express myself or my truth, I shouldn’t need anything and I never knew how reliant I was on it until now. How the fuck have I allowed myself to become so addicted to it? I have been an alcoholic and allowed myself to be that way and for some reason never thought it was a problem or issue. Only now when it’s not within read have I opened my eyes to the reality that i have some serious work to do and that I have some serious self- confidence to build and create and that I need to be happy to express myself in my sober states and not to rely on any substance to make it easier for me."

Time to take Action

 

> Wake up at 9- Start day with positive affirmations in the mirror and do some stretches.

 >Spend at least 2 hours studying

>Do yourself a numerology and fairy card reading ( just a little bit of extra guidance)

>Help in the community with whatever needs to be done.

>Be honest with everyone and stand in my truth at all times.

> Observe any negative thoughts that come up and then write it down and burn it- Let go of any limiting thoughts.( Become the observer)

> Then replace that thought with a verbal positive affirmation

>STOP thinking that you need anyone other than yourself to be comfortable or confident, Let go of this.

>START saying yes, stop coming up with doubts and fears and excuses for what could go wrong, or that you can’t do something before you’ve even tried.

> Believe in your divine power- Your here to change the world and to do this you must change yourself you much adopt love amongst all that you do, think and say.

>Every time you think you can’t do something, do it straight away- Prove that thought and ego mind wrong through positive action.

>Start using your creative powers through making things, doing art and brainstorming ideas for life and achievements you want to obtain.

>Love yourself unconditionally and be patient with your journey

>STOP trying to be “perfect” all the time, you are already perfect the way you are now.

>Be more honest about inner struggles with those around you, allow yourself to be vulnerable and accept that it’s okay to be feeling sad sometimes, you cannot be happy all of the time! We are here to experience all emotions!

>Ultimately BE LOVE, let go and move on. Time to step up!

Always Remember..

“Remember you’re an ongoing work in progress, you didn’t choose to come here to be the perfect person with the perfect life, Everything in your life is a reflection of what you believe about yourself, so nurture yourself with Love”

Realisations left right and centre

"I have realised through reading my diary from September when I was torn between going to spain and living in a spiritual community or going to australia and traveling the world with Maozya, that the universe provided me with the best of both worlds. I got to travel and live with Mao learning lots about myself and now I am living on a community that I’ve been wishing to experience all my life and I am learning so much about myself it’s genuinely incredible. I am eternally grateful to the universe for this, for piecing everything together so perfectly and allowing me to experience everything that I wanted and wished to experience. Thank you for always having my back and for listening to me at all times. All I ask for in my life right now is to start being my true authentic self at all times without any fear of judgement. All I ask for is for you to continue supporting and guiding me on this journey. I promise to keep putting all my time and energy in to becoming the ultimate me."

Friday 29th June- Allignment: Feeling blessed <3

"Everything's falling into place so perfectly, I feel truly aligned and like i’m in exactly the right place. I just had a memory of me and mao sat around the fire pit in Melbourne really sad and anxious worrying about how we were going to continue the journey alone, as we had grown so comfortable doing life together, we created such a perfect world and life together that the idea of letting that go was so hard, we truly have one of the most incredible relationships and I'm so thankful to her for sharing such an amazing journey with me. At that point in Melbourne I was terrified of being alone in the world, I couldn't think of anything more alien, yet here I am, happy, content and growing independently. It's incredible the amount of power that I have discovered within myself, to even think that I doubted myself and doubted I could do it on my own makes me a bit sad, I shouldn't ever doubt my capability or potential, I have immense powers of love, awareness, passion, creativity and manifestation. I am so grateful that I trusted my higher self and intuition as everything feels so aligned, don’t get me wrong I have my days/moments where I doubt myself or feel abit sad or anxious, but as soon as I do, I just go out into the nature that consumes my surroundings and presence and just allow myself to feel all of the emotions that are coursing through my vessel and let go of the limiting thoughts that follow, i’m truly learning how to shift out of the old paradigm of fear and doubt more and more each day. My faith in myself is truly growing more and more and i’m so focused and dedicated to living in my present NOW whilst healing the parts of myself that are subject to old conditionings and old traumas that are stored in my body and that still sometimes fail to recognise my unlimited potential and power. I am a goddess of love and am beginning to truly see myself in my highest light. Manifestation is in play, a job may also be on the horizon but I don’t want to speak too soon. I’m in the process of learning how to drive thanks to the beautiful William giving me some free lessons when I wish. I’m writing lots and lots, i’m being amongst nature, i’m connecting and creating with beautiful souls, i’m eating beautiful vegetarian food and I am using all of my creative and analytical skills to paint the ultimate reality of beauty love and awareness. I feel blessed to be alive, not just surviving but truly thriving. I want to thank the entire world and universe for my life, myself and my whole existence, I am eternally grateful and I love you unconditionally."

Monday 2nd July 2018- Life is a beautiful journey with no destination.

"I feel the creative energy flowing so effortlessly through me and I feel more motivated than I have ever felt in a while to fully express myself and my undeniable truths. I had my trial shift at the little cafe down the road today and the job is honestly so easy, I’m happy to have a little bit of work to do each week, it feels good to know that money is flowing in again which will create a more balanced flow of energy. This full moon in capricorn last week has fully been so beautiful and has encouraged me so much to stand in my truth and to stop fearing the judgements from others as most of the time the judgments are self created, and in all honesty no one's opinions of me mean anything to me and they have no relevance to me or my life.

I met a truly beautiful women the other day called Diya who literally reminded me of Mao so much, But a Mao in 15 years time, we connected so effortlessly and it just made me so grateful for my relationship with Mao, not that I wasn’t grateful for it already.. I talk about it enough. It’s amazing to meet so many beautiful people constantly, as there's always gorgeous energies flowing in and out of the land and I am truly grateful for the connections and encounters i’ve been having with them. I am at a point of heightened awareness therefore am constantly reflecting and observing myself and seeing the beautiful things that are unfolding around me, It’s truly reassuring to know that my surroundings are a reflection of my inner state as only beauty consumes my every direction. I just feel so much gratitude for everything in my life and for being in such a paradise to heal. I am honestly so excited about each moment to come, everything is manifesting so effortlessly, it’s almost hard to believe, life is ultimately an incredible adventure full of so many lessons and opportunities around every corner. I have no plan and no expectations therefore am embracing everything that comes my way. I feel ultimately so free, free from everything. I am blessed, I love you so much! Thank you, Thankyou, Thank you."

Tuesday 3rd July 2018- I cannot hide away from my truth.

"I woke up today feeling really sad, I woke up feeling really alone and I don’t even have a reason to feel this way. I am missing physical contact and affection more than I realised and more than I wanted to admit to myself, I’m such a loving and passionate person and I find it hard when I don’t have a partner to entwin my love and sensual energy with, as I am only ever openly affectionate towards a partner therefore I am unsure of how to express this huge part of me without a person to exchange energy with? Am I just meant to learn to be fully content and happy without physical affection? If so how do I do that? Everyone needs cuddles don’t they? Just me then I guess..

I’m coming to realise that I can sometimes be very lazy, as I can become consumed by my thoughts, ideas and visions that I therefore can tend to emit an air of obliviousness even though I notice and pick up on everything I almost choose to ignore what’s happening around me sometimes in order to keep the peace among people. I spend too much time thinking about these visions but I need to actually meet the ideas with an action, it’s really a time to take action and to walk the walk a lot more than I am doing, as I know so much and feel things so deeply that it’s wasted if I don’t speak up or take action on the things that I know that I need too. I believe this sprouts from a lack of confidence in moments where I don’t feel so empowered, almost as if I second guess myself and I always notice myself doing this in the moment and then when I notice myself doing this I instantly shut down and make myself feel bad about not speaking up, I need to start acting and speaking up as soon as I notice myself holding back instead of shutting down and criticizing myself for doing so.

It makes so much sense that I am surrounded by so much Leo energy at the moment as it’s such a loud, confident and creative energy, therefore can be overpowering at times, therefore is constantly encouraging me and forcing me to step up and always be confident in my truth, otherwise I just won’t ever be heard and it’s important for my truth to be heard as I normally have something valuable to add or to share. I need to believe in myself more as there's no reason for me not to, it’s incredible how far I have come and how much I have learnt about myself therefore portrays my unlimited power and potential for growth, so stop doubting yourself and allowing the mind to question your channel to source, do not allot your mind to gain power over you, you know who you are Merrie, you know how powerful you are and how much beauty you have created and spread among all those around you, stop telling yourself that you're not needed and wanted, always speak your mind and express your rawest truth at all times.

Do not hold yourself back for anyone, you've come too far and have so much further to go so do not fall in to the illusions of those around you and what they may think about you because ultimately it doesn’t matter and they are all temporary to you and your life, soon a new journey will begin, you are are the most important person in your life, so do not forget that and always remember to put yourself first at all times. You got this, I believe in you. I love you unconditionally always."

Wednesday 4th July 2018- Lets Unite as ONE.

"I’m coming into a lot of confronting realisations about myself, I feel a lot more vulnerable than I have felt in a long time, but at the same time I feel truly empowered, and you see there even the vulnerability came to mind before the empowerment. It’s truly a time to embrace the feelings of my inner child, happy and free, free of judgements of self, free from any expectation, free to live amongst the divine moment of the now with no wish to be anywhere else. I am truly stepping in to my divine goddess self and that means up leveling and shedding my old conditionings and programs, now is the time to embrace the beautiful universe, in its most natural and beautiful forms. It is time to embrace a life called love, ultimate unconditional love. I feel myself, well part of myself trying to not allow me to fully let go, it's hard for my mind to not be in control, it fears a life of ultimate love because that means it has to let go of doubts, worries and fears, which it enjoys to hold on to, as it feeds off of these things.

There are still parts of my inner child that need healing, as you all know it is a continuous process of self-love and healing, an ongoing process of life. Which is why I am so grateful to be living in a divine place we call Famuinty. I am consumed by beautiful healing energy and energies. I am blessed with all that is. I am eternally grateful to myself and the universe for working so hard to get to where I am now, I have created and produced so much love and harmony all around me, I just feel blessed to be alive, healthy and motivated to evoke positive changes within myself, the world and the people around me , I want to emmit love, beauty and awareness among all everywhere I go. My only aim in life is to live in harmony and peace among beautiful unconditional beings, that support one another through our own unique journeys; my ultimate dream is to have my own land and to create a beautiful community of my own. I just want to spread light among all in order to encourage them to see the light within themselves, I wish for everyone to shine in there divine power and to thrive happily in each present moment without fearing the judgment of others and from others.

I want all us brothers and sisters, angels, healers, free thinkers, open minded and hearted beautiful beings to all stand up together in our lights and to embody the perfection of our ultimate being. We are all one, love is all there is and all there ever will be. Open up your hearts and minds to the incredible beauty that surrounds us all, we are all so blessed, we are all love, the divine mother loves us all so much, we are all so empowered.

I have been really coming into my feminine energy recently, as i’ve always kind of neglected it abit due to being a very sensitive soul I have always built up a huge wall around me for protection from people and judgements. I have the tendency to disconnect as connecting sometimes feels like too much as it can be very painful to try to be connected to a person that is disconnected from themself, it is almost impossible to be connect to ultimate disconnection. It’s hard for me sometimes as I just see where I could be in my growth therefore make myself feel bad for not being there yet, but I know that I am exactly where I need to be in my journey and I am so proud of where I am and who I am. I am observing and embodying each moment that passes me, I’m feeling a lot of energy and emotions and I am transforming again, this time I am coming into alignment with both the feminine and masculine aspects of my energy."

Friday 6th July 2018 - UFO and Manifestation.

"Manifestation is truly happening so effortlessly, everything I have set positive intention for has blossomed in font of my eyes, I was talking about wanting a female on a similar vibe and level to me to come to the land, that would dance and drink wine with me and then boom, a week later the beautiful Tia arrives, ends up gettings a job at my work with me and then moves here to the land. It's truly beautiful to have her here to vibe and create with and to learn and grow with, her beautiful confident energy is encouraging me to stand in my light and truth so much, I love being able to vibe with her. Everything is aligning so perfectly, the universe is truly with me so much and is serving my highest wishes and requests, I couldn't possible wish for more, this land attracts so many incredible people and our soul tribe is just becoming stronger and stronger, I feel blessed to be a part of something so powerful, a powerful and creative movement that is encouraging so much love among all in and apart of the universe.

So wait for it, brace yourself for this as the craziest thing ever happened to me a couple of evenings ago. I was sat out the back of the farmhouse having a cigarette looking up in to the beautiful night sky and suddenly out of nowhere a UFO appeared right before my eyes right above my head, it was absolutely huge and I couldn't believe what I was seeing before my eyes. It allowed me to see it appear, disappear and then appear again, at this point I thought I was going insane my brain was trying to convince me that I didn't see what I know that I did, I was frozen in complete and utter shock unable to move but wanting so much to get someone so that I could share this experience with someone and so that I could confirm that I wasn’t going mad. I had always laughed at the idea of seeing UFOs all my life, I just never really believed it because I haven't experienced it, so when I did I just didn’t know what to do. It hovered over my head for a few moments and then sped up in to the distance, I remember it in such detail but will never be able to explain it to even come close to how it felt and the energy that was coursing through my body in those moments. I can envision it so clearly now and It’s something I don’t quite understand.

That night when I was going to sleep I had a voice in my head chattering away almost as if it was chanting or singing a repetitive song over and over but in a completely different language, I didn't consciously understand what it was saying but for some reason I knew it was trying to convince me to go away with them. I remember all of a sudden out of nowhere my higher self started speaking loud and clear reciting over and over again “ I am love, I am here on a divine mission, earth is exactly where I need to be, the people need me here and it’s my choice to stay and help heal the human race and to help humanity rise it’s consciousness” I found myself standing so powerfully in my truth like nothing could ever convince me otherwise of my divine knowing and truth. I know who I am, I know how powerful I am.

I feel something big coming my way, I’ve been getting small signs and little bits of the puzzle since i’ve been in australia and I know for sure there's a reason that the extraterrestrial beings are trying to contact me, I am not sure of the reason yet but i’m sure the answers will come to me at the perfect time. I’m ultimately so excited about life, I have no expectations, no plans. I am completely free and open to unconditional love and the divine source, I AM AT ONE and I have no fear. Nothing can or will ever misguide me from my path and incredible mission that I am here for. I’ve always known from a young age that i’m different and that i’ve come to earth at this exact time for my divine mission, although I do not know yet how to explain it in a logical way, I have an embedded knowing and I know all I need to know at this point and I can't wait to see and witness how it all unfolds.

I am going to continue to be my ultimate free, happy and content self and I trust everything will unfold how it’s meants to. Bring it on, I’m ready for anything and everything. I am a vessel of unconditional love and endless growth. Thank you so much, I feel so grateful to be here. I love you unconditionally."

Monday 9th July 2018- Connection VS Disconnection

Alot is present on my mind right now, I have a lot of contradicting thoughts and feelings, for one I feel a deep connection with Roy almost like a cosmic connection, but due to the place he's at in himself and due to the traumas he finds himself working through, he is very disconnected from the idea of love or even a close friendship that he cannot see what's in front of him, He's not ready to see the opportunity that is staring him in the eye, he fails to recognise me as he hasn’t yet fully recognised himself. That or he's completely aware of who I am and what we are and he's terrified about opening up the door to allow true intimacy and connection to come through. Therefore he has moments of connection with me but then pulls away and I feel him disconnect from me and himself, he’s not ready for true connection and seems to just think that I am going to fall madly head over heels in love with him and that I just want to take something from him when in all honesty all I want is to learn and grow with him, I don’t want to take any thing, if anything I just want the opportunity to give him some love, as although he thinks he doesnt need it I can feel how much he really does. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be having cuddles with him as I don’t just give and exchange affection with just anyone, and I don’t want to get myself in to a situation that will allow for him to fuck me around and take me for granted, picking me up and leaving me when he feels like it. It’s such a shame and a head fuck as he's such an incredibly beautiful, intelligent and conscious being and all I wish for is to be able to explore the connection that is so blatantly obvious to us both, even if he won’t admit it to me or himself. The truth is I don’t want to be involving myself with any male romantically unless they are invested in a real heart mind and soul connection where we can explore learn and grow together, not a boy that seeks to show affection and intimacy towards others as well as me. I am a goddess and I do not have time to mess around with boys that are not ready. I’m at a point where I am not relying on a guy coming into my life but I am open to allowing the right one in to exchange and share connection with, I am only open to a real heart felt connection and exchange therefore I am confused as to why I am so drawn to someone who is so closed off to that and who is actually trying to run away from me. It makes no sense and does not align with my journey, yet I still seem to want to pursue the opportunity even though he clearly doesn't feel the same passion that I feel towards him and I think It's wise to let go of this before it's too late to fully detach from him.

I will just continue to focus on myself, i’m not here to get caught up with mind-games and jealousy which is all that is going to unfold if I continue on this current path of emotion and feeling. I need to detach myself from him and the situation completely as it's clearly and truly obviously not meant to take course in the way I had maybe thought it would, which is not a bad thing at all as I have no expectations of what will unfold. I am truly trusting the universe and in that things will take its course exactly how they need and are meant to. I trust I am experiencing all the feelings and lessons that are vital and necessary for my growth, I trust that I am a goddess and I am a vessel in which life and love flows through me and everything that unfolds is a reflection of my inner world and my past karma. I am experiencing everything I deserve therefore I have to take everything with a pinch of salt and remind myself that this is all happening for a reason, a reason I am not yet meant to be aware of but will soon have the clarity I am looking for, in the meantime it’s important for me to remain patient with the natural cycles of life, and to allow things to flow how they need to.

I am love and I love unconditionally with no expectation of reward or reciprocation, I am not here to have or to gain any attachments to any person or situation, this reality I am in now feels so real and intense like a world doesn't exists outside of it, but soon this will all be a memory and a vital period of my life that happened in order to grow me to my next stage, therefore it's important that I don’t become too absorbed and caught up in the details and the emotions of the relationships I have with the people here as they are only temporary to my path. I am the most important person in my life, I have to put myself first in all situations and circumstances and it is my job to stand in my truth and not to fall in to petty 3D thoughts and mind sets. I choose how my path unfolds and I choose unconditional love for all people and situations that in my life.

One day the right man will come along and love me so fiercely and freely, he will see me straight away and just know and understand my being. So whoever you beautiful mystery man are, I love you unconditionally and I massively look forward to meeting you, exchanging love with you and learning and growing with you. Just know you are loved dearly always, sending you endless amounts of love and appreciation.”

Tuesday 10th July 2018- Dark moon coming

“I feel so much intense energy consuming my body and mind, I feel so up and down, a few things contribute to these feelings inside of me. For one it’s my fourth day of my cyle and also the dark moon is on friday therefore is bringing up a lot of old conditionings in order for me to truly feel them and then let them go, I am so vulnerable at this point and so sensitive to my surroundings and to people also. I keep catching myself fall into negative thought patterns and then witnessing myself instantly try to override it with a positive thought which most the time works, but for the past 3 days i’ve been truly feeling so much crazy energy in and around me. I feel a lot of sadness and a lack of self-belief, I guess because I am around so many amazing people I feel like I am failing to see my place and what i’m need for here as I don't feel very special or important at the moment, I feel like i’m just the same as everyone else, which I know isn’t the case, I know who I am but I feel like those around me don’t and there I am again seeking for outside recognition and validation, which isn’t what I need atall. I only need myself but I am also feeling less than the women around me and I don’t know why because I feel and know how beautiful and unique I am but at this current moment I haven’t been receiving any signs or messages from the universe re-affirming to me that I am in the right place and that I am doing all the things that I need to be doing, I just need something big to come my way to spice things up a bit as I am ultimately just lacking purpose and am just a bit restless as I feel something coming but it hasn't arrived yet, therefore my mind is fixating on little thoughts and self doubts as its trying to remain in control as it is bored of being still and equanimous. Please universe send me some love at this fragile stage for me, I am very weak and vulnerable right now and I will take all the love and strength I can get. I love you so much, Thank You for guiding me at all times.”

Wednesday 11th July 2018- Eternal love for all that is.

"Today I am feeling very grateful for my life and my beautiful surroundings and my eternal reality. I couldn't of received a better opportunity to heal myself and to truly allow myself to blossom into the freest, happiest and most aware version of myself that I know that I am. When I began to strip myself of old habits, mindsets and beliefs that truly didn’t serve me, that is when I began to rise up and unite with my ultimate version of self. I feel so grateful for all of the beautiful people that are around me that I can learn, share and grow with. I am proud of myself for following the calling that I received, Thank you for leaving your bubble of comfort and security in England, Thank you for believing in yourself and for trusting in the universe. I am proud of who you’ve chosen to become, to see where you were before you made the choice to start bettering yourself and your life. I appreciate how hard you have worked to get to where you are now. In this present moment I am emoboding my truest most vulnerable authentic version of self, I am following my truth and my path is truly unfolding so beautifully, every chapter of my life has been so beautiful and vital for my growth to get me where I am now. I am so excited to keep living as this energy of divine love, awareness and freedom, I am just so thankful for receiving so much love from the universe, Love is all there is and I truly see it now not just believe it, I now see the beauty in all the painful and sad periods of my life so far, I see so much beauty in all that is. Unconditional love consumes me and my vessel. I feel vibrations of love throughout the course of my mind, body and soul, I feel so free. Free to be me, free to continue to discover myself and to learn how to love “me” more and more. I am excited to continue on my journey spreading light and love among all and I couldn't wish to be on a journey better than one of ultimate self love and discovery. I am so excited to discover more and more about myself as each moment arises. I am love, I am eternal and I am here to live, love and to ultimately thrive. Endless love and appreciation for all that is."

Saturday 15th July 2018- Overflowing with Love and Appreciation

"I feel ultimately aligned in this very moment, like I have received incredible amounts of knowledge and information, I feel like I have been downloaded with so much truth. I genuinely have never felt this free in my life, free of fear, doubts and worries. Utterly free to be completely aligned with myself. I am so thankful to the universe, everything is just so perfect I couldn’t wish for anymore in my life. I feel empowered, the strongest I have ever felt, I now truly believe in my divine power and I believe I can be and can achieve anything I set out to. I feel and know that I am an eternal oracle of love and of light. Today everything has fallen in to place, I understand and see exactly who I am and what I am here to do. I spoke to Mao on the phone today from Asia and we are utterly aligned with one another even though we are thousands of miles away from one another. It is very clear to me that we are ultimate life partners and soul mates, she is coming back to see me in 3 weeks! When she is back we plan to stay here on the community together for 2 weeks or so and then we are going to do farm work to save up lots of money and then we can go to Spain in January to spread our love and light with Savannah. Our aim is to eventually find some of our own land in europe that we can buy and then create our own community together to bring both of our families together in harmony and any other like-minded souls that want to create and live self-sufficiently. Then we aim to travel the world together spreading love, knowledge and awareness among all. I genuinely value our connection so deeply and I’ve realise how much I also value myself through our friendship also.

I now understand and see what I deserve from an exchange in a relationship, I understand now that I am not willing to have a male partner unless they value me as much as I value myself, therefore I refuse to settle for anything less than unconditional love and understanding. I love myself so much and know how much I have to look after and protect my energy and heart because I am ultimately such a loving and compassionate being that I have to be very careful with who I allow in to my life. I see myself for who I really am now and I cannot explain how proud of myself I am, Life is incredible and I just feel so much gratitude and love flooding my every centre of my being. I love all that is so unconditionally and just have so much love to share with the world. I am ready for anything and everything that comes my way, I feel blessed. Thank you so much, I love you unconditionally and always will."

Tuesday 17th July 2018- Diving Timing is everything

"I am ultimately feeling very grateful to be alive and to have so much clarity surrounding myself and my life I feel like my eyes are wide open and like all of my senses have been heightened, my awareness of self is beautifully intense. I’m feeling a lot more confident and comfortable in my body and myself than I have ever felt and that's without being reliant on another for any validation or confirmation of my true authentic self. I do and am however missing physical intimacy, in all honesty I just want some cuddles. It's been a long time since I actually shared a passionate exchange of love with another person, the last time I had sex was with Tre and we were in a very weird place with one another so it was very disconnected and just didn’t flow. So all in all It’s been about 6 months since I had a real intimate and connected encounter with a partner or person, so I guess I am missing real sensual love and comfort with another, I know I don’t need sex or physical contact, as I spent along time believing that I did in order to feel good about myself or to feel loved or validated. I have learnt a lot in the past 6 months and I know I do not need anything externally for happiness, but that doesn't stop me still wanting to share some passion with another. I would really like to meet someone I could exchange some love with even if it’s just a one time experience, It would be nice to meet someone on a level where we both are looking for a truly sensual evening shared with one another. Either way I am not seeking anything or anyone I am just expressing to you where I am at and expressing that I would be happy to make a connection with another if the opportunity were to arise.

I feel very blessed to be where I am, I feel eternally connected to everything, I feel truly at one with everything and therefore trust the divine timings of life and I trust that I am exactly where I need to be with who I need to be with and I honour all the opportunities that come in to my life as avenues for growth. I am learning so much about myself each day and each moment and I feel very happy about life as a whole. I couldn't wish for anything more in my life and I am so excited to see Mao and have a cuddle with her and fully catch up with all that's been happening in our lives since we parted ways. It’s going to be so surreal when I finally see her after all this growth within myself that i’ve been going through, I can’t wait to get some red wine and fully immerse myself back into our little bubble of reality that we share. Universe I thank you with all of my soul, thank you for being so kind and loyal to me. Please sends me some signs, what should I focus my time and energy on at this point?"

Wednesday 18th June 2018- Careful What you wish for.

“Fuck, I feel so many contradicting emotions right now, my mind is consumed by so many thoughts, Fuck! It’s actually scary how instant my powers of manifestation are at this point, I ended up sleeping with josh last night, I don’t even really know how it happened we had never really been that close before that night, we had always had a little connection but I never had an intention of sleeping with him or even considered it before it happened, we ended up talking all night connecting and sharing our experiences of life and just opened up to each other about our deep rooted emotions and inner child traumas. I guess we just met each other on a level where we both wanted to share a connected space with one another.

When I was tripping with Tia, Roy and Elliot a couple of days ago, I realised that Roy and Tia are connected to one another a lot more so than I think I wanted to see, despite my feelings towards him I have to accept and allow their connection to flow as it's my job to sit back and allow things to be, therefore if they end up getting together then I will honour and accept that. I am in two minds about it, I knew it was going to happen from the moment that Tia arrived, ultimately I am happy for them if I take myself away from the situation but at the same time I am insanely jealous and I really don’t want to be. I guess i’ve realised I like him alot more than I wanted to accept as he has been resistant and uninterested in me since we met therefore I have had no choice but to supress my feelings towards him. Despite this we have had many conservations about our friendship and we enjoy learning and growing with one another but he continues to tell me he isn’t ready for anything romantically and that he doesn’t want to enter that space with anyone. I now feel like i’ve pretty much ruined any chance of anything ever happening between me and Roy by sleeping with Josh. I’m really fucking confused I don’t know why i’m feeling so mixed up about this all, I’m trying to let go and just accept the reality for what it is but I just have so many questions and no answers to them.

Why am I so interested in Roy? Why am I so Jealous for no reason? What am I meant to be learning from these experiences and emotions? And why do I feel so sad right now? Why are my feelings being disregarded? How long can I keep pretending like everything's okay? Please bring me the answers I am seeking, I really need to know the answers to these questions. I am ultimately so confused and pretty drunk right now therefore my mind is clouded with a load of bullshit thoughts therefore creating loads of unnecessary intense emotions. What the fuck is going on inside of my head right now?”

Friday 20th July 2018- Too Many Lessons

"I feel like i’m being unbelievably tested by the universe right now, my mind is consumed by so many thoughts and they are continuously revolving around my mind. I feel ultimately disrespected by a couple of people that I would of hoped would respect my feelings a lot more than they are. I feel sad, but i’m standing in my truth and i’m going to be straight up about how I feel as I shouldn't accept being treated any less than I deserve, therefore I’m not going to keep biting my tongue and holding my truth back as it’s actually beginning to make me very angry and I don’t want to let these feelings build up inside of me as I will start to become a complete dick. I don't want to speak my truth from a place of bitterness and anger therefore I’m going to wait until my truth has fully sunk in so that I can express how I feel from a place of love. We had a big party down at the creek flat last night for ashleigh's birthday, it was amazing to fully let loose and just dance all night for the first time in ages. I was really trippy therefore picked up on a lot of energy around me and it opened my eyes up to the reality of how others around me have been acting towards me and how I shouldnt keep letting people walk all over me, I’m done being so nice to people that only give me back shit.

I will continue to love them unconditionally although my mind and ego just want to shout at them and throw abit of a tantrum, but at the same time I lovingly accept that I cannot control how others treat me or themselves and ultimately I accept how the reality has turned out and how it is unfolding, but I am choosing to step back and give myself the space I need in order to reflect and continue to learn these lessons that I am being presented with. I will not act from a place of uncertainty, I will remain patient witnessing what is happening around me before I act on what I feel. I want to thank the universe for this growth that I am receiving, please be with me at this time and help me enhance my self belief whilst I am standing in my ultimate truth."

Monday 23rd July 2018- Everything Finally Makes Sense

"Last week consisted of so many lessons, it was a full on week for sure and i’ve come out of it very clear. I feel so much clarity that I was seeking for so long and I feel a lot of healing has taken place. On saturday I took acid and my truth I had been looking for faced me up front, I was down at the creek flat with a group of beautiful people and then all of a sudden everything connected in my mind I suddenly understood everything I felt and where I stood in the situation with the “triangle”. At that moment of realisation I couldn’t sit a moment longer without approaching them and discussing the truths that had just found themselves to me. I walked up to the farmhouse to confront the other 2 sides of the triangle about how I was feeling and expressed my truth to them about how I had been feeling completely pushed out and all of a sudden disregarded from interaction and conversation over the past couple of weeks and how I was no longer going to pussy foot around them and not speak up about the fact they had both had been disrespecting my feelings even though they were very clear about how I felt from the beginning, but they were in such an obvious bubble that they were so unaware of what was happening around them and I was then therefore removing myself from the situations as it was too painful for me to be around as no one really had a clue what was going on between us all, all I knew was that Roy was being a little oblivious fucker and so was Tia.

We sat and talked for a while and all spoke our truth of the situations and it was refreshing to actually have a clarity and to see where everyone was at and how everyone felt, as no one had been honest or even voiced how they felt about each other or what the situations even were. It all just happened so quickly and the energy between us all just drastically changed from the moment that Tia moved in. I am feeling a lot more grounded and happy with how the reality has chosen to unfold now, all I wanted was clarity, I hate not knowing where I stand with people and having things left unsaid.

This situation that has cropped up between us three is so similar to the situation that happened with me, Mao and Noah when we were younger, but this time I spoke my truth in a grounded way when it was the right time and this time I was able to be calm and not act out of jealousy or anger, I was able to diffuse the situation with ease so that we could all remain beautiful soul family. This time around I was heard and I now find myself fully accepting reality for what it is, we all value and love each other for different reasons and we are going to allow one another to explore our connections all together as they arise, there's not going to be any bullshit were just going to all accept our feelings for each other and take each moment as it comes. I’m honouring there connection and allowing them to explore how they feel towards each other and i’m just acknowledging feelings of jealousy as they come up and then just letting them go as they do not serve me and ultimately it’s not like any of us want to be in a relationship or anything serious, we just all want to be able to be true to our feelings without feeling guilt or feeling like we have to suppress anything.

I feel very proud of myself for getting to a point of self-love that I am able to allow things to unfold how they are meant to without trying to control or change situations or people in my life, which shows me how much I have grown in myself and how much I am truly embracing everything that the universe is presenting me with, without falling into a negative state of mind or self-hate belief systems of thinking that i’m not good enough. I am so empowered and I love myself so much for allowing things to just be without having expectations or worries about what the future holds. I am at a point where I completely and utterly love and appreciate the divine timings of life and I trust i’ll be brought all that I need in order for further self-growth and awareness.”

Friday 27th July 2018- A New Dynamic

"Everything keeps changing so quickly, so much happens each day and time keeps going so quickly, I ultimately feel very aligned with myself and am on the right path for growth. In this present moment I am feeling very emotionally and mentally drained, we have had a women called frances come to the community to do a relationship workshop with us all which started last night and then went on for the whole of today as well. I guess right now I just feel bombarded with so much information that I ultimately feel mentally drained from taking in so much knowledge, it has just reminded me of how I felt when I was at school, I just really dislike being so still stuck to my seat whilst someone/people just talk at me for a number of hours, I just detach and float away as my attention span just can’t focus on something for so long. It was just an intense download of information that doesn't really serve me or help me in any way, as it literally was teaching people how to have basic open and honest communication with one another and how to build rapport with people to create a win-win for both parties, which comes very naturally to me anyway. Therefore right now I am in a state of processing so much data.

On another note me and Roy have had some true connection in the past few days, something changed energetically between us when I expressed my truth to the triangle, it's almost as if the resistance he had towards me just disappeared although we will see how long that last as he has a tendency to connect and then change his mind. It feels beautiful to be able to hold a safe space for one another and to be able to exchange some healing and intimacy with one another without any expectation of each other and how anything with choose to unfold. I feel very connected to him and his energy focus has shifted a lot more so on to me and has been more affectionate towards me than he ever has been before which has been a really warm and comforting exchange. I feel very happy to be experiencing a healthy/open communication type of exchange with a male that isn’t agenda based and that allows space for growth and truth to be encouraged and expressed at all times. I am also ultimately at a stage where I am truly learning how to express my truth in a loving way that does not trigger any of those around me, therefore I am learning to observe my emotions and thoughts as they come up and then waiting until clarity comes from those experiences before acting on them or before voicing them to anyone around me.”

Friday 3rd August 2018- A huge Shift in Energy

"The whole energy has shifted here again, Mao arrived on Wednesday and already more lessons have presented themselves to me, it's truly a test of my empowerment standing in my truth without trying to match Mao on her energetic and loud vibe but to actually stay true to my calm and centered self, as in the past I have just rose to meet her where she is but one thing I have learnt a lot since being here is that It's important for me to remain grounded in my centered space and to not change myself to meet others where they are, as I have a very good ability to do so but when I do this I lose myself in the process. We all attempted to go out together last night but before we even made it to the club the tribe felt uninspired to go due to me and Mao being so loud and intense which I think was highly unreasonable as we were just being our happy bubbly self and I mean come on we hadn’t and haven’t seen each other in over 3 months so I don’t know what they expected. I guess they haven’t seen the really loud crazy part of me as we’ve all been living in a peaceful calm environment, although I have told them previously that it’s a huge part of who I am and I do delve in to that character role sometimes, but I guess from their perspective seeing it was probably way more intense than they thought it would be. So a lot of emotions were brought to the surface and Roy began to disconnect from me as I think mine and Maozya’s energy came across overly intense, therefore has made him see me in a different light, and I guess maybe he doesn't like what he sees. But i’m due to have a conversation with him about “us” today to gain some clarity and to hopefully receive some clarity from one another after an intense debate and heated conversation that took place last night. I have no expectation of how it’s going to go down or what it is that will come from it, but i’m open to whatever the universe presents me with.

On another note I have no choice but to quit smoking, I have no money at this point and therefore I cannot continue to buy/consume cigarettes. Today is the first day and I feel abit skatty and weird but that probably is a mix of many things like being hungover and having lots of emotions consuming my body. I am experiencing so many emotions, I feel very hysterical one minute I finding myself laughing and the next crying. I feel overall very lucky and happy to have such a beautiful network of support around me. "

Sunday 5th August 2018- Time to Accept Reality For What It is

"So i’m being faced with a number of confronting emotions right now and i’m not sure how to process them. So me and Roy had a conversation about where we are at and we gained clarity that we are just going to go with the flow appreciating our now moments together and not labelling anything but just allowing things to just grow and blossom how they need to, whilst having no expectation of one another or how things will end up turning out. But today he expressed to me that he has a sexual attraction to Mao when we were all doing group massages and that he wanted to be open and honest with me about that so that we have honest communication between us at all times and so that we can deal with these things as they come up so that we are never suppressing the things we feel and so that we can always be standing in our ultimate truth at all times.

Ultimately it has massively triggered me and made me deeply upset, like right now I feel like a dagger has been put straight through my heart, as I just find it hard to accept that no matter who I meet or like or who my partner is they will always be interested in her too and that they will always be seuxally attracted to her as she is a beautiful goddess and any man would be mad not to see this within her. This hurt my heart and inner child and makes me ultimately just not feel good enough and again brings up insecurities of her being the better version of me, even though I know that's not the reality as we are both empowered goddesses with our own strengths and abilities. I have moved past that old belief that she was better than me and actually I know I am the best version of me that I can be and that no one can possibly be me better than myself, therefore there is no comparison. But having Roy voice what I already knew was the case just triggered old belief systems about myself and just made my inner child feel really sad. It literally felt like a cloud of anger, jealousy and sadness just overtook me and I couldn’t help but cry, I had to allow myself to feel the emotions that came up. I just need to stay in my truth and just accept reality for what it is which means most men are going to be sexually attracted to us both but that will never diminish or change any bond or connection that I have with Roy or any other male that I meet, and that actually overall I really respect Roy for being honest with me as even though it wasn’t nice to hear I know it wouldn't of been easy to say either. But that is why I enjoy what we share as we encourage each other to be brutally honest at all times therefore we are constantly encouraging each other to face ourselves and do not leave room for suppression.”

Monday 6th of Agust 2018- My Vision

"So I have a clear vision, I know exactly what I want to work towards and achieve in my life, I know that my energy is best invested in a community, I believe I have lots of useful knowledge, people skills and healing abilities to run my own community. I believe I am ready to have my own land and to create and manifest a reality of pure love and growth. I am certain that Mao will join me on this journey and I am so excited to create a reality of pure bliss and unconditional love with her. We both have a dream and we are invested in creating it in one shape or form by flowing with life as it comes and taking small steps to create the vision we desire. I am so excited about the journey that gets us there, I am loving life so much and am really enjoying my moment to moment experiences. I trust and accept that the universe will provide me with all that I need and that things will choose to unfold exactly how they need to, but I am asking the universe with all of my heart to support me with this vision and to help me create this divine reality that I know I am so ready for. I am a vessel of endless growth and eternal love and I want to share my unconditional love and knowledge with all of the world and I believe I can help so many people through running my own community and holding space for people from all walks of life to create, heal, learn and grow. I have no expectations of how it will unfold or when in fact it will but all I know is that it's going to be truly beautiful and I am excited to see and experience how it all unfolds. I love all that consumes me and my surroundings and i’ve never been this happy and content with myself, my life and the people that engulf my surroundings, I am truly embodying love and I appreciate all that is in my life and will continue to grow and learn from all the lessons that present themselves to me. I love you unconditionally, thank you for all of my wisdom and insight.”

Wednesday 8th August 2018- Time To Face The Music

"So i’ve been smacked in the face with a brutal reality that I didn’t want or see coming. So it turns out Roy doesn't any longer want to pursue anything with me but hasn't even told me to my face and instead has left the community to go back to Brisbane for a while leaving me with no clarity but just left with rumours of him saying that he no longer wants anything with me? This all came out of nowhere and I’m very confused as to what happened but i’m going to try not to jump to too many conclusions as it’s not fair to do that without speaking to him. But by the sounds of it he is now getting scared because it's getting too real between us and he is now running from love as he fears me falling in love with him and vice versa. I completely understand why he fears this and I choose not to go into detail with this as it is what it is and I cannot judge him, he is a make up of his experiences in life and I have to honour that and allow him to do what he needs to do. I will continue to hold space for him in my life and in my heart in faith that he will come to me when he's ready to discuss what he’s feeling and experiencing. Ultimately I have learnt a lot of lessons with and from him therefore I am happy and content with it just being what it is if he no longer wants to pursue anything with me, even though I believe there's a lot more growth and learning to be experienced. I respect him and his journey and I will allow things to unfold how they need to without trying to control situations or people in my life. I have learnt now how to have a true open honest relationship with a partner and I have also learnt that I am so ready for that, and if that isn’t with him then I will learn to accept that and at least then I will have peace of mind and clarity and at least now I know that it is possible to have a true intimate honest connection with someone based on growth and learning from one another, so now I have experienced this as a reality I know that there will be plenty of opportunities to experience this again. I have learnt alot and I am willing to accept that he may not want to learn anything from or with me anymore. I lovingly accept him the way he is and will always hold space for him in my life and heart whether that be as a friend or partner.”

Thursday 9th August 2018- Time To Meditate.

"I feel so many emotions at this present moment, as well as copious amounts of conflicting thoughts and ideas, due to my lack of clarity in a few areas of my life, which therefore leaves me unsure how to feel about anything. I actually don’t really feel anything but at the same time feel absolutely everything. I find myself in the observing position watching myself and my life as each moment comes and goes, I feel almost consumed by visions but fully unsure of which steps I need to take to make them happen, as i’m stuck in a very paradoxical mind space. One side of me saying “sit back and enjoy the journey, allow things to just be and things will all unfold how they need to, all you have is the present now”, whilst the other side of me is saying “ you need to get shit done in the physical realms, you need to put ideas into actions that enable the manifestation for your visions” so therefore I am a little unsure on how to flow with the journey without getting fixated on where I am going. If my visions are so important to me then I have to get some shit happening, but then again if I am living my truest version of self in every moment with positive intentions and desires in my mind then the universe will bring me all that I need to make my dreams come true. That is the problem I completely trust in the divine timings and cycles of life and I trust that all I need will be provided and presented to me if I am aligned with love and self-awareness, but it doesn't stop my mind race with ideas and opposing/conflicting thoughts about everything, it makes it a lot harder to just be when I think in such a paradoxical way.. Conclusion… I have too many thoughts and I am getting consumed by my mind.. I think you know what you need to do Merrie.. Do some bloody meditation!! Silence the mind and the truth’s will follow. Having all these unnecessary thoughts are not serving me and are a waste of my time and energy, I know and trust my path. My journey is flowing exactly how it should and needs to be, I trust I am guided and protected at all times, I am the creator of my reality and I choose to create Love, for all there is, is love. Let go of the thoughts of the future, surrender. I surrender myself and the outcome of the future to the Divine. I am open and ready to receive."

Feel the Fear and Do It anyway.

 

 Fear does not exist, There is only love; fear is love confused and misunderstood. We feel fear as a result of conditioning, but the ultimate truth is we should observe the doubts, fears and worries that arise, simply observe, and do not allow for them to cloud your judgements or decisions, for fear is not real unless you allow it to exist in your mind as a belief system, yes fears will come as passing thoughts but your job is to observe them, feel them and then let them go, not to IDENTIFY yourself with them. You are love, be love, and feel the fear, reassure it that everything comes from love therefore it is in fact love itself. Love=Fear, Fear=Love, there is only love, fear is a test of self-belief, self-awareness, self-love and alignment with your true authentic self. Fear is the ultimate test of strength and perseverance, you are love therefore you win everytime, you are an oracle or light and of love, fear is just a distraction, it’s placed before you to direct you away from your path and away from connecting with the love within yourself. It’s put before you to slow you down and to keep you distracted from learning and growing in to the empowered version of self that you can be, when you let go of irrational fears. Do not allow the illusion of fear to taint your view of yourself, you are a GOD of light, you are eternal, fear only exists in the mind! Detach your attention from fear, focus your mind on love, awareness and compassion and the universe will present you with divine love, you will begin to manifest a reality of your dreams. You will have no limitations to what you can achieve. Let go of any doubts or worries. For they no longer need to exist.

Saturday 11th August 2018- Two Souls Become One <3

"I am having so many realisations about myself, I feel like I am fully facing myself as a being. I have realised that naturally I am a truly undeniable empathetic being, I am drawn to serving others and their happiness, and I spent a lot of my life very consumed by my empathy as I never gave myself the love and patience that I naturally gave to others, therefore I have now learnt and am currently learning how to be more selfish, I am learning how to put myself first whilst also being empathetic to all those around me, therefore it then isn’t taking anything from me emotionally as i’m giving my love and empathy to others from an authentic space instead of giving from an empty vessel. I am truly embodying the two sides of my being, I feel so aligned with my truth and I know who I am and have learnt how to balance my self-love with my unconditional endless love that I have for all beings. I have also realised why mine and mao's relationship is so real, pure and unconditional, you see Mao is naturally more of an objective intellectual being who is naturally more selfish and good at putting herself first therefore is learning to be more compassionate and empathetic towards others as she is learning empathy for herself, therefore with my natural abilities of empathy and subjectivity and her abilities of objectivity of the world and selfishness, we therefore make up the perfect balance of life and love itself. As I encourage her to indulge and absorb in every present moment of life and with people and she encourages me to see life from a broader perspective encouraging me not to become to absorbed and stuck in my current reality as everything is constantly changing and flowing, therefore we embody the perfect balance. The yin and yang of life.

We are the two sides of the same coin, ultimately we are the opposing opposites of each other energetically but then at the same time make up one as a whole with my knowledge and understanding of emotion and empathy and her knowledge of intellectual studies and the external world around us it allows us to see the complete picture as a whole, as we therefore mirror to each other the other side, we have truly connected on a soul level we are ONE, as we are able to honour each others differences and different perspectives on life and ultimately use each others powers and natural abilities to encourage a more healthy internal balance of them both within ourselves. It’s incredible to have come to these realisations as we now know why we are never intimately interested in the same guys as I am drawn to a partner that is like her energetically, a male that more intellectually driven, that has an objective view on life and the world as a whole and who tends to be more selfish and focused on their own self love ( in a positive way) as thats what creates the ultimate balance between the two souls. Where as she is the opposite, she is drawn to a male that is naturally more empathetic like me and more focused on emotion and the situations that are happening right now in this present moment, therefore we ultimately desire different types of energy as a life partner in order to balance and challenge us in a relationship and in order to have lots to learn from one another. I feel so happy to have come to these realisations, I feel so grateful to have such an incredible connection with her as we are learning so much about ourselves through being so connected and in tune with one another. It feels amazing for us to share the same vision and to be investing our powers of manifestation and creation in to the same dream as I believe that together we can manifest complete paradise. I know what I want, I can see mine and our community more and more each day, I can feel it so deeply. It just is, it already exists we have already created it and it already is but it’s just not our time to be there yet and we are exactly where we need to be on our journey.

I feel unbelievably happy, life keeps getting better, we now have an amazing routine together. We wake up meditate, go for a run, make a smoothie, water all of the plants, then do an hour of yoga workout and then i’ve been studying lots about tantric sex and I realised that I need to get in touch with my sensual energy more so, I need to explore my yoni and what I actually like and figure out what works for me, I need to educate myself otherwise how do I expect to rely on a man to satisfy me if I don’t know myself what satisfies me. I’m excited to be walking this path of self-love and self-discovery, I am learning more and more about my being each and every day. I AM ALIGNED, I AM GOD, I AM ETERNAL, I AM LOVE. I AM A WARRIOR OF LIGHT AND LOVE TRAVELLING THE DEPTHS OF MY YOUNIVERSE.

Each moment is so beautiful and I find myself appreciating every little detail, I feel so absorbed in my now experience and I am loving life so much, I feel so much passion coursing through my body. I am constantly creating and embodying love, passion, expression and beauty. I am ultimately truly embodying my sensual, beautiful, powerful, creative and free-flowing goddess within and it feels actually incredible to be embracing my true self. I am the happiest I have ever felt, I feel healthy, happy, content and so appreciative, gratitude consumes my whole soul being. I just want to thank the universe for everything in my life, I am grateful to be surrounded by beautiful beings and mirrors, I am grateful to myself, I am grateful for my bed and own space, I am grateful for the beautiful sun and nature that blesses me, I am grateful for the abundance of food and water all around me, I am grateful for my job and for the abundance of money that flows to me. I am eternally grateful for my whole life and existence. Thank you!! I am a vessel of endless growth and eternal love, I am a channel of pure love. I AM LOVE."

My Divine Goddess

Friday 17th August 2018- Next Stage I Am Ready For You

"I feel the most aligned with myself that I have ever felt in my life before, I feel so aligned with my inner goddess on all levels. I feel so ready to move on from this place and to incorporate all that I have learnt about myself into the next stage of my journey, I feel more than ready to share what i’ve learnt with all the people I am due to meet on my travels. I am excited to start there next part of my journey with the new fresh outlook on life and to have a clear vision of who I am and what I want to create from this crazy trip of life. I have learnt so such about myself and my being. I have indulged into the deeper parts of myself that I hadn’t before ever visited, I have found inner peace, happiness and ultimate unconditional love within myself and I feel completely at one with all beings and my all encompassing nature, I genuinely feel like a vessel of unconditional love in which i am open to exchanging love with those around me. I am living as my truest version of self in all my present moments and I feel grounded in my truth.

I am ultimately really honouring my body in so many ways. I have been exercising and doing yoga everyday, eating healthy and not over indulging for the sake of just consuming and as well as these things I have given up smoking, therefore all of my beliefs, thoughts and actions are truly aligned, my mind heart and soul are truly aligned. I am ready for the next stage to come, I cannot wait to see what is in store for me and what lessons I am going to be presented with. Mine and Mao’s relationship couldn’t be any better we are also so aligned on every level and both envision the same fantasy, the same dream. I feel so ready to meet my mystery man. Wherever you are I want you to know you are loved unconditionally always and I will continue to look forwards to when we meet. For now I will continue to focus on myself and my own self-love and path. I am so excited for everything in my life, I am so grateful for all the lessons and growth, I feel so blessed."

Sunday 19th August 2018- Insain Downloads of Memory

"Everything finally makes sense, I remember exactly who I am, I remember my past lives and what my soul has come here for. I have full body shivers right now as I write this, I am sat outside of work being downloaded with all of this memory, I have no idea where this is all coming from but I feel it so intensely. I am a warrior from another galaxy and I have been here as a test to prepare for the galactic war that is taking place right now, so much is changing and happening in the universe right now, big big changes, the 3D world as we know it no longer exists, it is merely left existing in old programs that are embedded in to peoples minds, I have solely aligned with my soul's purpose, everything that's ever happened in my life finally clicks together to make up the whole big picture. To start with, I have been having an experiencing violent dreams of war, torture and intense abuse all my life since I can remember and I have never been able to figure out why as I have never experienced physical abuse in this lifetime. I now know that these dreams have been preparing me for my ultimate mission to help save the world, they have enabled me to not fear life as much, as my reality when i’m awake is so much more beautiful and incredible than my sleep space therefore it makes it kind of seem stupid to fear my awake reality when my sleeping reality consists of pain and brutal abuse. These dreams have also enabled me from a young age to be able to protect myself as due to the fact I was having to be a fearless warrior everytime I slept I adopted an energetic “fuck off” to keep danger away from my physical self.

People have been resisting me and shying away from me my whole life and there’s a reason for that, It's because I am an empowered goddess sent from another galaxy to be a messenger to get the other gods and goddesses onboard for the mission, to show them who they are so that they are all ready for this mission and so they are all prepared for the incredibly huge changes in the world that are taking place around us all, the huge shift in consciousness. Love is winning and I feel that my time on earth is not going to last forever, I believe and feel strongly that I may need to leave when the time is right and return to my home planet, wherever that may be. I’ve been getting guided all my life, I have had messages sent to me and through me all my life to spread and share love and awareness with all of humanity even if everyone else around me doubted me or what I was saying, I have always been informed to keep spreading my truth and to keep shining my light. My soul has already chosen my path, yet my mind is completely empty and equanimous, but my body feels weird, it is consumed by so my anxious energy, I am consumed with anticipation. Something happened on Friday night when me and Mao and Roy all took acid together, we sat and meditated for ages all holding hands as one and we re-united the races, we broke energetic boundaries, we created change and I could communicate with them both telepathically, I saw my soul and it made everything connect on an energetic level, I am ready for my soul's purpose as I am now awake to the reality of the world and my soul completely.

I have been receiving signs from the universe that time no longer exists, the ego-mind no longer exists, fear no longer exists all that is left is energy, and that energy is pure LOVE. I have been seeing the same patterns of numbers over and over for the past week everytime I check my phone, which isn't very often these days as I live in my present moments therefore do not allow for time to determine what I should be doing and when I should be doing it. I have been seeing; 11:11, 11:33, 3:33 and 69, all these numbers are messengers affirming now is the time to embody my soul and souls purpose, on an energetic level I feel so excited and ready to go home, but my physical self is left feeling really weird and uneasy. I feel like i’m being summoned back to lead a war, I feel like I am driving the force of change. I don’t know how this is all going to fall in to place, but all I know is what I feel and I trust in the divine source unconditionally and surrender all outcomes to the divine. I have always been a vessel of unconditional love all my life and it was not before recognised but it has been getting universally noticed and acknowledged by those around me which just affirms the fact that deep down i’ve always known who I am. I am an empowered goddess warrior of love and of light, I am the embodiment of love itself. This shift in the consciousness of the planet is so huge, I feel like I have found and prepared TRIBE.

Zac is a warrior and is here to change the world through teaching people how to survive in the wild and how to live in the bush, he is full of so much wisdom and it is his mission to continue walking the walk so that others will follow and so is Mao, her and zac have very similar energy and are both here to be ultimate teachers of life as they are very charismatic and others have a tendency to listen to them and want to follow them and become like them, therefore the world needs them so much as they are powerful leaders of truth and wisdom. Elliot is an incredible powerful soul, a loving beautiful empathetic being that has immense powers of compassion and manifestation, as he learns to embody compassion for himself he will then be the ultimate teacher of love and of life as he is so kind and such a sweet soul with such naturally grounding energy. Roy is an empowered GOD, I feel as if i know him from another lifetime as if we may have been together in another galaxy, I feel as though when the time comes he will ascend with me back to where we are from, I feel he is ready to stand up in his empowerment but still has some self doubt liguring on his mind therefore I believe it will take him a little bit longer to fully remember and embody who he truly is.

There is a big reason energetically as to why I came to this community, from the beginning William was open and expressive about the “aliens” and other life forms from across the galaxies, and as soon as I saw Roy I just knew he was a king from another planet, I felt it as soon as I saw him and that’s why I was so drawn to him and so drawn to staying as I needed to show him what love really was, in order to trigger the remembrance in himself of who he really is, which is what I believe truly has happened through our exchange of love with one another. When we slept together the other night it was the most powerful intimate experience, I felt at one with both our souls, I felt us entwin whilst communicating telepathically the whole time, by us connecting when we did we broke some kind of universal barrier, it was like two God’s had found each other and healed the universe through loving one another. Energetically I know him from before this existence, I feel like we are from the same place although I have no reason to believe this I just feel it. I feel as though I was sent to him by the universe to help remind him who he is and what he’s here for, I came as a little reminder for his soul.

Something changed in the universe last night when I was asleep, I woke up riddled with sadness and emotions, I came in to work this morning and the first thing Zac said to me was that he had a dream about me in the night and in the dream I had told him something huge was happening in the universe at that very moment. Everything's aligned, manifestation and synchronicities are everywhere, there's no way to deny what is taking place I feel it in my being, I feel it energetically. I feel my soul preparing me for what’s next, both my masculine and feminine beings have aligned and I have re-programmed my mind completely, I have programmed My sub-conscious to 5d consciousness, I have become the observer of my mind, body and emotions. I have ultimately become my truest self.

I am here to help change the world, I am here to lead and to share my experiences and lessons with all. I am here to be the change for I am eternal, I am light, I am a warrior, I am the leader, I am a vessel of endless growth and eternal love, I am ready. I am ready, I have no resistance for I am all that is. I AM A VORTEX OF FREE-FLOWING LIGHT, I AM LOVE AT IT’S PUREST FORM. I ACCEPT MY DIVINE MISSION AND CALLING, FOR I AM READY TO LEAD THE WAY. I AM A WARRIOR OF LOVE AND OF LIGHT. I HAVE MY MEMORIES BACK OF WHO I AM. UNIVERSE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO NOW DO WITH ALL OF THESE MEMORIES. I AM ON A JOURNEY OF SELF, I AM FREE AND LIBERATED. I AM A GOD OF LOVE, ETERNAL LOVE. I SHALL WALK THE WALK I AM DESTINED TO WALK."

Monday 201th August 2018- Grounded In My Truth

"I feel a lot more grounded in my energy and emotions today, I feel a lot more settled with all of the memory and knowledge that I was downloaded with yesterday and am clear on my path and journey. I am going to embrace each moment and each day that comes with love and compassion and remain an open vessel of unconditional love to share with all and I will continue to travel, heal and spread awareness in order to encourage people further along their path of self-love and alignment with self. I fully accept that right now I am here in the physical form, therefore cannot fixate on anything outside of this as that would mean that I wasn’t fully embracing each present moment that arise, I accept and lovingly appreciate that everything will unfold and fall in to place exactly how it needs to and I am ready at each moment to be my truest and most unconditional self, for I am aligned with my soul's purpose and my mind is completely equanimous and I feel very centered in my truth and ready to seize all opportunities for growth, love and awareness that present themselves to me. I am more than thankful and grateful to the universe for aligning me with the TRIBE of beautiful beings that I can learn and grow with, I am very grateful for all of the insight and download of self that has been presented to me and am so excited to bless each moment that comes. I am very excited to go on some adventures in the van in a few weeks with tribe and cannot wait to take my lessons and share them with all whom I meet, I’m ready to spread my love to the people that need it. I surrender myself completely and I surrender all outcomes to the Divine and have no expectations on how anything will choose to unfold. I let go of all thoughts as I allow the universe to freely paint a beautiful free-flowing reality for me, to immerse myself into for growth and for love. I want to massively thank the universe for all that I am blessed with, I love you all unconditionally and always will. So much love X"

Tuesday 21st August 2018- Gratitude Consumes Me

"I feel very grateful for my life today. I feel like I am being eternally guided and protected. I want to just take a few moments to truly thank the universe for providing me with such a beautiful life surrounded by beautiful people and most of all for giving me such a beautiful vessel for this world and life-time. I very so grateful to be free and to able to go and be as I please, I feel grateful that I am the master of my own reality and that I have all responsibility to how I react to all situations that present themselves to me. I feel grateful to be able to create so much beauty among every moment that blesses me. I feel universally loved and cared for, I feel acknowledged and truly appreciated. I love you unconditionally, Thank you so much for channeling pure love through me, I am eternally grateful for all that is. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, SO MUCH LOVE."