Part one- My Dark Dream Vortex.
I lay in my fantastic trance, in my heavenly bed engulfed by my comforting covers that surround me. It's pitch black all around me, all I can see is a faint street light glowing through my window from a distance, the fierce raindrops are smashing against the roof creating loud obnoxious sounds that quickly send me off into an all-consuming dream. For a while my mind drifts through the atmosphere dodging and diving through the endless vortex of possibility, absorbing all of the knowledge within reach. As my body falls into a deep trance, my mind becomes free, free to travel the dark depths of the universe and the atmosphere: Free to go and be anywhere it pleases.
I swiftly fall into an unfamiliar reality, a dimension I have never been before, a place without any feeling of familiarity. I glide through the sky bouncing from cloud to cloud slowly making my way down to the green soft landing. Remembering that this is a dream so I can do as I wish, there is no limit to what I can achieve here, there is no goal or completion, only endless opportunities and challenges. As I reach the ground my iridescent wings that arrived me to the ground safely disappear in an instant, returning me back to my human body, my necessary vehicle for the mission. Staring directly at me is the most incredibly beautiful vast forest, the largest space of green wonders that I have ever laid my eyes on, I turn all of my attention and energy on to the forest in order to spot a direct route to enter through, before my eyes I begin to see a magical pathway form out of nowhere. As I walk closer and closer towards the forest of wonder, the pathway grows wider and grander. The gateway is entwined with breaktaking purple jasmine and lavender plants that are seeping out from its every crevice, the incredible aromas consume all of my senses all at once, my senses become heightened filling my body with an irrisitable scent. The pathway creates a divide between the trees, allowing me the space to venture through.
The ground below my feet is made up of bright coloured mosaics, spirals of evolving patterns that twist and turn as I step on them. I find myself in a hypnotic state, one in which the path speaks to me; it shows me the possible events that could occur on my journey into the wooded fantasy, many twisted and intense scenarios begin to flood through my mind in a single moment that fill my body with a sense of fear, then in an instant flash I fall out of the hypnotic trance. I now begin to hear faint fluttering sounds coming from ahead, gentle little movements against the wind; at this point anything could happen, there's something both terrifying and comforting about being in the woods, almost as if anything and everything is possible at any given moment and your surrounded by a constant feeling that you are being either watched or guided. There’s a very fine line between the fear I am expierencing right now and also the excitement and eagerness that I feel in my heart.. You can never be to careful in a woods.. Who knows what’s lurking around every corner. I alertly look around me in all directions trying to spot the creature responsible for the fluttering sounds that now loudly consume my mind; but to my surprise I spot nothing in sight, the noise goes on for an enduring amount of minutes; gradually getting louder and louder, like a tape recording on repeat in my mind, with a broken volume button ferociously going up and up with no maximum limit to prevent its endless potential.
All around me leaves begin to fall very quickly, one by one all of the brightly coloured leaves gently dance their way down to the ground below, each leaf individually unique to the next and last to fall. All of a sudden a burst of rage consumes my body a feeling incomprehensible, something beyond words interpretation, with this rage my body decides to start running, before I know it I am fiercely and ferociously running through the forest with no doubt in my mind, forever travelling in search of my destination. As I run faster and faster the path grows larger and larger, like a never ending path to nowhere, or maybe to somewhere? perhaps a place I needed to be? I felt a sense of hope in the distance, something powerful was pulling me closer and closer encouraging my body to continue moving. I don't think i've ever ran this fast in my life, I didn't even know I could travel this fast on my own two feet, this feeling is pure like utter freedom. As if there is no worry of what may lay ahead because I know that no matter what happens, no matter where i'm lead to, it’s MY dream and I can choose how it unfolds, I decide how the magical fantasy is formed and created, Or do I?
It's like i'm invincible, it's like I have some form of indestructible power. I feel utterly unbeatable, unstoppable even. I come to a sudden jolt, my feet become fixated and glued to the ground below, I freeze staring into the distance. A little voice in the back of my mind begins to taunt me, I do as it says and take one step forwards..
Before I know it i’m falling through a dark, terrifying portal of existence. As I fall deeper and deeper into this unfamiliar reality my body begins to feels lighter and lighter. I feel weightless like a breeze, as if nothing could touch me, I then think about moving my eyes onto my hand to see if my body is still in tact, but to my utter confusion I no longer have a body and if I were to, it has now become transparent, in the space of a few seconds my body has just disappeared, leaving only my mind floating through the atmosphere once again. Where am I going now? Where am I being lead to?
This time I fall into a reality I have visited many times in my dreams before, a place of comfort, or so I thought. As I hit the ground a large bubble entwined with every colour imaginable engulfs me. I now have my body back, but this time I am trapped inside a human sized bubble, unable to step outside of it, I remain stuck inside of a vehicle I did not choose to have. I begin to walk to the places I know and remember from my previous visits, I bump into a close friend of mine but am unable to communicate with her, almost as if my words cannot be heard, or I cannot be seen? I jump and shout trying to get her attention whilst waving my hand in front of her face, trying with my maximum effort to gain her attention, but she just continues to look straight through me as if i’m not there, her eyes are dark and empty, full of sorrow and doubt, her face looks dull and washed out, she looks so lost consumed with confusion. I’ve never seen her like this before, immediately I get a sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach, at this point I just know; something bad is coming..something bad is going to happen. What’s happening, why can’t she see me? Why can’t she hear me?
She begins to walk away from me, slowly making her way to the tree house we both built in a previous dream together. It’s been a long time since we both have been here at the same time, I just don't understand why we are being separated from each other, what is this dream trying to tell me? It feels like a dark force of pain and sorrow is surrounding us, making sure with all of its force that we cannot communicate with one another. As I follow her, the sky turns black and begins to collapse and crumble, black thick ink begins to seep from the clouds above, drenching the whole beach and surroundings in a thick black tar, as this terrifying event takes place I see my friend in the distance slowly begin to disintegrate into thin air, I see her vanish body part by body part until finally she was no more. I now stand in the middle of a burnt out beach intoxified by pain and dread, I feel cold and lifeless. Everything around me looks broken, burnt and consumed by a depressing thick fog. I remain inside of my colourful, protective bubble, not getting affected or tarnished by the toxic liquids that flow from above. This is the definition of evil, to watch a perfectly glorious beach and ocean become destroyed by darkness, to watch my closest friend look straight through me, walk away and then get sucked into the dark portals all around us, the portals that remain continuously lurking in the shadows, ready to pull you into a dimension that you’ll never be able to leave, a dimension of fear, pain, shame and enslavement. I feel horrified all I want to do is leave.
This reality used to be my sanctuary, one of my only safe places that I came too in my dreams, every other realm I fall into when i’m asleep is dark, depressing and utterly terrifying. I’ve now just stood and witnessed it become destroyed bit by bit, but why? I just want to leave, I cannot stand here for a moment longer and watch my magical surroundings become absorbed by the lurking demons that are trying to enslave my soul. I feel scared for a moment but manage to snap myself out of it, “i’m in control, it’s my dream”, Although I don’t know where i’m being taken to next, before I even have time to think about finding a way out, my body gets thrown into a huge whirlwind of water and sand, I find myself spinning continuously around and around moving so fast that a portal forms itself at the bottom of the waters i’m currently absorbed by, I get vicsiously sucked and dragged into the gateway below.
I fall through the clouds landing back into the centre of the forest, back to where I started. I hear terrifying loud screaming echos all around me, I look up at the sky to see the same black ink dripping from the heavens above, I feel cold and empty and uncertain of where to go. Is there other people in this forest? Or are these noises in my head?, it’s hard to know what’s real at this point. Suddenly out of nowhere a herd of animals appear; sheep, bulls, horses,deer and so many more viciously screeching and crying in pain, running with all of the power that they have, but wait, their running towards me? Fuckkk, I look down at my feet and remember the incredible power I discovered earlier on, I pray to myself and begin to run in complete and utter terror, I don’t dare look back as my ears can safely inform me that they are still running in my direction like theres no tomorrow. I manage to gain enough speed to lose them for long enough for me to find an escape route from the directed pathway they were running, I come to a stop and spot a small wooden cabin placed at the centre of a group of trees, almost hidden beneath tattered branches and leaves, almost buried from head to toe in earth and mud. I decide to walk over to it to analyze the situation, what if there was someone in there? What if they needed my help?, I pace continuously around it trying to absorb as much information as I can, trying to figure out what my next best move would be? mulling to myself over and over in my mind, should I find a way inside? At this point the windows are my most encouraging option, i’ll just smash a window and climb my way in. I laugh to myself because here, I have no fear, this is my dream..despite the fact that I still can’t figure out what any of this means? Do I wanna know what’s inside of this building, or should I leave and carry on my journey with no answers? But I need to know the answers, I cannot possibly leave without them. Or can I?
I’ve had enough of questioning myself and doubting myself it’s time to step up and find the answers my soul is searching for in this journey, I pick up the closest rock to me and walk over to the window and with all my force smash it open. I pull back all the branches preventing me from climbing through and safely create an entering point for me to climb in, enough thinking it’s time to find the answers.. As I climb through the window to my shock I fall down a huge dark drop, as I hit the ground I begin to lose all consciousness. When I awake I have no idea how long I had been knocked out for, I find my feet and remove myself from the floor, as I stand up I notice the most disgusting smell all around me, like rotten flesh that’s been left out for months. I feel utterly sick to my stomache, have I made a mistake coming here? It’s a bit late to turn back now. I can’t see anything around me it’s completely pitch black at the bottom of this horrendous dungeon, I have a really bad feeling about this place, bad things are happening here and I feel more fear than i’ve ever felt in my life before. I don’t even know which way to turn or to go, I have no sense of direction and all i can smell is that horrendous rotting flesh around me, the only sense that i’m able to use as it’s completely silent all around me, except for a faint sound of water dripping from above. I start to walk, to find my feet engulfed by a thick liquid, I bend down to touch the liquid below my feet and bring my hand to my nose to see what it is that surrounds my every step, all that I can smell is a strong smell of iron, this can’t be, there’s no way I am walking in a pool of blood, what’s happening this is utterly terrifying and i’m stuck here, how am I meant to move forwards. My heart begins to start racing, I feel so sick, I begin to feel dizzy and faint at the idea of blood being all around me, is this the end? Am I going to die? This feels so real it’s crazy, I wish that I could leave I don’t know what to do with myself all I want to do is cry and scream, but I don’t want to attract any attention to myself. The dizziness begins to take over and before I know it I hit the ground fast, i’m out again...