"I Am a Vessel of Endless Growth and Eternal Love" - Mandana

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" 

It all starts with YOU.

Loving yourself is the only path to true happiness 🕉

"Dont take anything personally, nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality,  their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you will no longer  be the victim of needless suffering" Love your self, you deserve it!

Each and every person is consumed by a number of emotions, worries, dreams, fears and so on, no persons opinions of you mean anything, if anything they are projecting their hidden self-doubts on to you, or maybe your even projecting your little self worth on to the idea that a person is thinking these negative things towards you. My point is each person is soley living in their own reality, their own dreams, every person is trying to do their best to figure them selves out let alone uncover the truths of this world, theres no point sitting there dwelling and worrying about how others see you because all that matters is how YOU see yourself. 

The most important thing is accepting where you are now, despite the things you might not like about your self, because each day you wake up you have a new opportunity to re-create yourself, try new things, learn new topics, do new hobbies.. each day is a chance to realise that you are who YOU choose to be, not how you are seen by others. You see a person can only "see" you or meet you as deeply as they have met themselfs, so in other words some people just arent ready to see their own brilliance and unlimited potential so therefore have not the capacity to see you as the perfect warrior that you are. 

As soon as you start to accept this truth your life will become effortless and manifesting your dreams will become so simple. The truth that YOU have all the power, only YOUR opinion of yourself matters, only YOU create your reality, only YOU are meant to see the true beauty of yourself, until you live by these ultimate underlying truths, you will only continue to attract people in to your life that arent ready to love you, that aren't ready to fully see you or appreciate the real you. Until you appreciate your true authentic self you cannot expect to attract anything more in to your life, as the law of attraction states "like attracts like" so the energy you give out is excatly what you will get back. Vibrate higher, tune in to the divine source of mother nature, realise you can be ANYTHING and create ANYTHING that you choose to.

It all starts with YOU. 

Abit about me.

"I find it extremely liberating to see that I was the cause of all my problems. With this realization I have also learnt that I am my own solution. This is the great big gift of personal accountability. When we stop blaming external forces we become the ultimate creators of our destiny" - Jenna Galbut

Hey beautiful world, I'm Mandana I'm currently travelling the depths of my youinverse discovering skills and experiencing the depths of my mind, emotions and soul. My passion is writing and healing, I am inspired to spread my love and positive attitude to life, I aim to serve the greater good of humanity and of mother nature itself with every moment that blesses me with its presence.

 

I feel a deep connectedness for all people and beings, and only wish to encourage people to learn to love themselves and to make you all believe in the Divine power you pocess. I have known from a very young age who i am, and who i came here to be, and the truth of it is, My Path is as a Healer. I have been presented with alot of responsibilty to work on my own self-growth, to follow my passions and heart even in the hardest times when the mind wants to take control, but through learning to love myself unconditionally I have been able to shower that love on to others to encourage them to learn to heal themselves. I mean the truth is you are the one with all the responsibilty for your own happiness therefore you are your own healer. I for one have chosen to walk my path of self-discovery in order to live a free fowing life full of compassion and unconditional love so that I can spread my knowledge of self with the world around me.

 

I have began to truely love who i'm becoming and am so passionate about helping humanity rise up and claim their ultimate power. I've decided to start this blog so that I can shower you all with my love, passion, spiritual insight, advice and to share my personal experiences with you. My ulimate goal is to make a positive mark on all of you so that you begin to believe in yourselves, the real you; by sharing my knowledge with you aswell as providing important information and topics to study and research. I love you all and I hope to impact your lives in a simply beautiful way.

 

This site/blog will be a constant flowing vortex of my ideas, thoughts, guidance and love, it requires no commitment or follow up, it's simply here for who ever wishes to read it, for whoever feels like they share a similar outlook and perspective. I will be updating it frequently when i feel inspired to share something with you all, and im also always here if you have any questions or ideas you'd like to discuss with me. I'm an open book in which im slowly creating and writing my story, my passion for life is unlimited and my desire to learn and grow is endless.

I am so blessed to have so many incredible people in my life, one of those beautifully talented people is my soul sister savannah marie, she is a self-taught singer-songwriter,  her voice and music has such a soulfully powerful message to share with all, her music speaks from the heart and echoes within the deepest parts of her soul, all music of hers has been solely recorded,written and sung by herself - Check out her soundcloud : https://soundcloud.com/savannaamarie

My Transformation: Where it all started - Part One..

 Monday 7th August 2017

 

I felt a sudden burst of ideas come to my mind, I felt compelled to share some things with you all, I was sat thinking about the last few months of my life, reminiscing about the amazing changes and challenges that have taken part in the course of my life. It’s truly incredible to be able to sit where I am now and feel proud of myself for getting to this level of happiness that i I now feel within myself, to feel the ultimate higher state I have worked so hard to live among, this being part of the reason why I felt the need to express my experiences with you all, plus the fact I love you all and we are all one so really I am you and you are me and we are mirrors for one another.

 

I guess I start at the beginning, the start of the huge shift that occurred in my life as well as in my mind, the shift that changed the course of my whole life. It all started with an incredibly amazing trip planned to spain with my closest friends, our first big holiday together to a crazy festival in the spanish “mountains”, never did I imagine or realise how much my life was about to change, how much I was about to change. Before I left for spain, I had spent months in and out of a depressive state, I was a lost cause struggling to see in front of me, struggling to move forwards, I was stuck at a stagnant stage I thought would never end, all along the only thing keeping me going was this planned holiday, the excitement of new experiences, plus the fact I felt something powerful was pulling me there as if that future holiday was going to change my life..but never did I know to what extent it would change it. I spent my days dwelling about my life, blinded by my negative thoughts, worries and fears, constantly obsessing about how much I needed a purpose but not having any luck finding one, and trust me I tried everything, making jewelry, reading, writing, doing yoga etc, but due to the depressive state my mind was in nothing was doing anything to change it, I was stuck in a vicious circle never really getting anywhere, only falling further and further down.

 

The plan was we would all go to the festival all 8 of us, spend the week there all together, then the following week me my best friend and our boyfriends planned to have a relaxing couples week exploring and having adventures. To my surprise things didn't turn out that way, before going we found out my partner wouldn't be able to join us for the festival, but would come out to meet me for the week after. As sad as this made me at the time all I cared about was the fact he was still coming afterwards, plus I was with all my best friends anyway so for me I was happy to be escaping my current reality that I would take the best that I could get. The “festival” was a lot of fun, we all successfully survived in the spanish mountains, outside of civilization, even if that meant that on some of the days we had to walk 7 miles in the boiling sun to even get food or water.. Despite that we indulged in the beautiful hot springs and the very intense music.. It was a truly breathtaking place, it felt amazing to be so be surrounded by nothing but land, fields, trees and mountains, on one of the days I took the chance to have a walk to write and clear my head, this following passage is the very start to the breakdown that took part in my mind, the destructively magical blessing in disguise that helped me find the key. These are the passages from my diary throughout my trip and when I got back and until this present moment:



Day 5- SPAIN March 23rd 2017

 “I have no idea what time it is, or where excatly I am, but what I do know is that i'm sat on the top of a mountain right now trying to centre myself, trying to release all the bad and anxious energy that I have in me, so anxious at the anticipation of receiving a phone call from my boyfriend, i'm anxious waiting to find out if his papers will come in time for him to get the plane.. What if they don't? This whole trip was a chance for us to make our relationship thrive..this was our chance to experience real life together.. If he doesn't come the “couple's week” will quickly turn into the biggest “third wheel week” known to man.

I could stay here forever, right here on the mountain everything is peaceful and calm, everything feels still. All the sounds of the birds are surrounding me, the sun is shining on my face and the wind is gently blowing my hair. I feel very still, consumed by my surroundings, I just wish I could fly, to just be a bird for a single moment, to be free from the ground, to be free from expectations that consume society. Freedom is calling to me, but I feel stuck in my mind, I don't know quite yet how to relieve myself of my depressive thoughts, anxiety and fear; it’s embedded in me, all I want is to be free from it all. I feel so close but also so far, I just know i'm searching for something that is deep within me, but I just can’t seem to break through to it. I feel like i’m trying to support everyone around me but it’s proving impossible to do so as I don’t even feel happy myself. I mean what do I really have to offer anyone if my mind is in this state? I’ve been in mourning and depression for so long now, since nathan passed away in august, I have been struggling to even find the light, let alone imagine living a life of happiness, i’m utterly stuck in a black hole in my mind.

I need to pierce the bubble but i'm utterly stuck inside it, I really don’t know how I have so much freedom and time and even still I just can't seem to take it, stay in my bubble of reality that i've created for my own sanity and i've managed to get very lost and consumed by my thoughts, me and my ego have merged into two conflicting personalities, both being as stubborn, certain and doubtful as on another. I’m consumed by two minds and I just can’t break free it’s so hard to make choices and decisions when i’m never certain or sure about anything, if anything I agree and disagree with all of my contradicting thoughts all at the same time. I feel everything and nothing all at once, I feel pain, anger, sadness and uncertainty of what's coming next, I want to let go but both parts of me have such a tight grip on me that I feel like a prisoner in my own mind, I feel trapped in my head and unable to release myself. I need healing, but I just don't know how or where to start when I feel so awful about myself, I don't even know who I am anymore? There's so many aspects of myself that are in pain and that are hurting, and they all interlock so it's hard to even begin to pick it apart, to find the starting point. I need my angels with me right now, I really hope they're sending me a load of love and compassion, because i'm really in need of it. I am trying so hard to find the key to the lock, but I just haven't fully found it yet, but don't get me wrong it's all I want and desire: happiness and freedom is all I want and could ever dream of achieving.”



Thursday 28th march 2017

 “I’ve fully fallen down, i'm broken in every sense possible. I've never felt this lost before. So much has happened in the last few days. I’ll try and get my thoughts together and start from the beginning, on the day we were leaving dragon fest, to start with the stress of someone losing their passport and being completely unable to find it, we all then trekked it to the closest town, got three buses to get to granada bus station to wait for my boyfriend to arrive, we waited at a cafe directly opposite the bus station for 12 hours with all of our bags and tents and camping stuff. To only find that security wouldn't let him through to the flight because his papers did not arrive in time so therefore wouldn't accept his alternative prescription papers for his medication, he tried three times with three different security guards to somehow get through to the flight in time, not only did he then get his wallet stolen missed his flight but then had to spend the night in the airport looking for his wallet that had his newly booked ticket for his second arranged and paid for flight the next morning in hope of somehow convincing someone to allow his proof, without his wallet he had no boarding pass or any of his recently exchanged money. The whole time communication between us was really poor as his phone died and I couldn't receive service, so whilst all these events were happening to him in the airport we were all left uncertain of whether or not he was going to turn up in spain at any moment or whether he was still at the airport in bristol, or if he was in spain on his way to granada bus station, after receiving the news he missed the first flight after waiting for 12 hours, we decided to stay at a friends house a couple towns away, and we were due to then go back to the bus station in the morning to wait again for his arrival of his new flight that he swore he would be on. When we got to the bus station the next day, we decided to wait inside the bus station this time, we waited for a total of 8 hours checking every bus to see if he was on there, but he just never showed up, we all were so anxious riddled with anticipation, stress, confusion and uncertainty, i’ve never felt that let down and alone ever in my life. After everything we still never got to have this experience together, after all of the bumps, challenges and pain that have followed this past year, the universe still wasn’t ready to stop testing me, this is the biggest test i’ve ever been presented with in my life, and i’m struggling to deal with it in any way, one minute i’m hysterically crying the next minute i’m in fits of laughter..I feel like i’m genuinely losing all sense of “right” from “wrong” my morals have gone down the toilet in the space of a few days, i’ve finally fallen, fallen to the deepest darkest lowest part of myself.

As my partner never arrived, and my friends partner lost his passport, it ended up me, Savannah, her partner and my other friends partner whom ended up unable to go back to england with the rest of them. So it ended up us four going to stay at a beautiful little community in the south of spain, somehow all of the events have led to this point, the universe for some reason wanted this situation to occur, it’s presented me with this messed up situation to fully test my morals and my loyalty. It’s just all so wrong, as soon as we arrived at the land we were due to stay on for a week, my best friend suddenly fell really ill, due to all of the intense emotions and anxiety that had been flying around for the past few days it just took complete toll on her health, leaving her emotionally and physically drained, leaving her in need to be in bed all day every day recovering and finding strength. Let’s just say I ended up cheating on my partner, it got to the point I was so broken inside that I didn't know my left from my right, I was drowning my sorrows with more and more alcohol and losing myself more and more in the process. I don’t know how or why this has happened, I can’t see the bigger picture , I can’t make sense of any the events that have taken place, I don’t even know who I am anymore, all I know is i’m experiencing huge amounts of pain, I have never hurt anyone like this ever in my life before, I find this all so hard to accept, to accept that I have inflicted this pain on to the people I truly love. I’ve never betrayed anyone like this, I never thought I was capable of such things. I don’t know what to do with myself or even what to say, i’m blank and my heart feels black and broken. There’s nothing I can do to make up for these mistakes, there’s nothing I can do to take the pain away that i’ve caused to one of my closest friends and my beautiful partner. I’ve lost all my power, all my hope and my vision, what does this all mean?

 

Universe please show me the bigger picture, I need to understand why i’ve made this choice, I just wish it all made sense, because i’m struggling so much to make sense of it all. Where do I go from here.. I’ve lost myself, my best friends and my boyfriend.. I can’t deal with all of this pain i’ve inflicted on everyone around me, i’ve finally fucking fallen and i’ve managed to somehow pull everyone down with me.”

 

Thursday 6th April 2017

 “A huge shift is happening in the Universe and also within me. So much has happened within the space of two and a half weeks, my whole world came crashing down, I lost all sense of who I was. Everything felt hopeless and broken, my heart turned black and my emotions became crushed. I have had millions of thoughts and questions rushing through my mind. What does this all mean? I feel like Everything that has happened was a massive test on my strength and my perseverance, I feel like the universe just kept throwing more and more tests my way at every corner I crossed. No matter what I did or said the Universe was pulling me in closer and closer, directing me astray from what I thought I knew and felt. I’ve realised so much about myself, for one i’ve realised how toxic I am to everyone around me when i’m depressed, when i’m sad and lost I have the power to affect my loved ones in the most destructive way, i’ve realised the true wrath of my power, although everything came crashing down at once, I felt myself get set free, for the first time in my life I felt and feel free. As my choices shocked and confused all of my closest friends, they all began to question who I had always presented myself to be; a solely loyal and honest person a person that would rather hurt themself than betray someone they loved. So for the first time in my life, I felt free from expectation, free to decide who I wanted and want to be, free to choose how to deal with the events that have played out, free to choose how I learn and move on from it. I want to thank the universe for the lessons.. They have truly taught me alot. Despite this i’m now left with the ultimate choice, the biggest and hardest decisions I have ever had to face.. How do I now move on from this? Who am I going to choose to be? And where on earth do I start?

 

A strong part of me knows I need to be alone, I need to distance myself from everyone around me, I need to let go and heal. I need to learn to love myself again, to forgive myself and to grow and blossom into the person I know I can be. I need to start living my life exactly how I have always wanted to, I will grow from this, I will be a better person for this, and I promise I will never hurt any living being ever in my life again. This is the start to a truly beautiful path and I will succeed, I will connect and be the ultimate version of myself, I will be Love. Never am I ever going to allow myself to slip into the illusion of negative thinking, never ever am I going to look back, after all the best kind of apology is changed behaviour, so from now on I will make up for my mistakes, I will own up to the choices I have made, I will forgive myself and only ever strive to be the best version of myself that I can be”

 

 

My Week of Isolation-Part Two

 

Sunday 9th April 2017

 

“ So i’ve decided to have a week of isolation, i’ve decided to have no contact with another person whether that being physically or through texting or social media, i’ve decided I need to retract back into myself and to have some peace and silence. Every day starting from tomorrow morning, I am going to get up make breakfast, do yoga, go to my magical field to meditate, read, write and to start healing from within, away from any external distractions, I am determined to get happy again, i’m determined to let go of all of this fear, pain,anxiety and depression, and I will never allow for my healing process to affect anyone else around me in a negative way. I’ve spent my life so far caring for, helping and guiding everyone else to loving themselves, i’ve invested all of my time, love energy and patience into everyone else, without realising that all along i’ve been excluding myself, now is the time, the time to heal myself, to love myself and to start living my life for myself and not trying to live for the sake of everyone else's happiness, because that’s what resulted in me actually hurting everyone around me. I’m sick and tired of waiting, for relying and hoping for people around me to love me and to make me happy, it never truly works, I need love and the only person I can seek that from is myself. I’m ready to start my journey, I’m ready to start alone.”

 

Monday 10th April 2017

 

“ Day one of my week to myself, tuning into who I really am, re-creating the best version of myself. Plan for the day:

> Wake up at 9

>Make breakfast

>Do yoga

>Go for a walk

>Meditate for an hour

>Read self-love book

>Study my astrology

>Tidy my room- make it a sanctuary

>Write Cv- print it off (start looking for jobs)

>Do some writing

>DO NOT USE SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITES!

How do I feel today?

Today I feel hopeful, I feel new energy entering my life, I feel love all around me and new beginnings on the horizon, i’m just so eager to be on this positive path. I want to thank myself and to also massively thank the universe for this incredible change that’s coming my way.”

 

Tuesday 11th April 2017

*Got myself a job interview on thursday at 1:30pm in torquay*

“Woke up today feeling sad and emotional, I guess this is part of letting go and moving on. Don’t get me wrong i’m more than thankful to the universe for bringing new challenges and changes to my life, but it’s such a painful experience having to let go of a partner that I love and care for so much, but I know that I have to continue this path alone in order to fully heal and to grow from my “mistakes”, I cannot afford to ever drag him or anyone else in with the pain I am healing from. I haven’t been single or solely reliant on myself for nearly four years, teaching yourself to be alone again isn’t easy, and it sure feels like i’m starting at the very beginning all over again. I need to stay away from temptations and distractions, Looking back at all my relationships now, I realise how unhealthy they were, how the love wasn’t really love but actually just attachment and emotional obsession, the whole time I was living in a fantasy world, believing that in order to be happy that meant being with the perfect person, or having the perfect relationship. All along I believed I needed to be loved by someone else, when really all I needed was to love myself. I need to now take every opportunity that comes my way (job wise) I need to focus and earn a fuck ton of money, so that I can travel and go on my soul journey. I’m on a mission so let’s begin:

Step one:

> Get a job, don’t be picky, any work and money coming in is better than no income at all, it’s time to work my way up the ladder..

Step two:

>Work and focus, save money, No excessive spending. You can do this merrie, you can create the future you desire. Go for it and don’t ever look back. START LOOKING FORWARDS.

Step three:

> When you have money start planning your travels, start finding places you want to visit, then book a one way flight.

Added Steps:

>Throughout these steps, do yoga at least once a day, Have a long walk at least once a week.

>Read books instead of watching endless tv series, Also start completing half read books.

>Write everyday, document how you feel and what you’re learning.

> Study astrology, numerology, Tarot cards and readings, write and recite positive affirmations.

>Go out very occasionally, stay focused on your ultimate goal, do not lead astray from your heart’s truth’s.

 

Thursday 13th April 2017

MY BIG AUSTRALIA PLAN!

“So i’ve decided I want to travel to and around australia this september, I signed up to an work and travel agency and plan to go over for a year to travel and work on my own. Now that I know this is what I want to do, I need to find a job and commit to working hard and saving all the money iI need to make it happen. Now that I have a goal, I need to take small steps to achieving it. So the deposit is payed for! Australia here I come, September take off!!

Next steps:

>Work hard to earn money

>Book flights and apply for working visa

>Save loads of spending money.”

 

Friday 14th April 2017

 

Bucket List for my Life

  • Travel and work in australia

  • Conquer my fears and anxiety

  • Conquer my fear of open water

  • Learn how to surf, ski and snowboard

  • Learn how to Build wooden structures

  • Build my own house

  • Find perfect forest to build my home

  • Buy a van and travel the world: All of europe, Thailand, Newzealand, Australia, Peru, Africa and Morocco.

  • Find my passion

  • Create, build and run ego village, spiritual teachings and natural way of life

  • Write a book/ Books

  • Learn how to make clothes

  • Learn how to drive

  • Work in animal sanctuaries all around the world

  • Drive a boat

  • Learn how to grow plants

  • Do my english TEFL course

  • Do 1 month yoga teaching course

  • Get REIKI masters

  • Meet my spirit animal

  • Study the stars

  • Raise a tiger cub

  • Create beautiful fairy forest

  • Make lots of money

  • Do 1 year monk training in china

  • Learn different martial arts and self defense techniques

  • Skydive, Paraglide

  • Learn guitar and didgeridoo

  • Conquer fear of public singing

  • Grow own plants and food- live self-sufficiently on own land

  • Teach English all around the world

  • ENLIGHTENMENT

The Work Begins- Part Three

Tuesday 18th April 2017

“ I’ve applied for a job at the church house inn, a waitressing job that is literally walking distance from my house, I really hope I get the job, please universe bring me this job opportunity, I really need  a full-time work asap in order for me to begin to save for my travels to Australia. Fingers crossed - Interview for Church house inn- Thursday 20th at 2:30pm”

 

Thursday 20th April 2017

“ I have my job interview today and i’m really hoping that i get the job, i’m feeling really anxious today, i’m having really bad withdrawal symptoms from not having tobacco for over 4 days.. I have no money and having to try and stay centered is hard when my body is so reliant on nicotine, it’s a habit that I hate so much, I hate the power that I allow it to have over me. I just need a purpose, I need full-time work to focus my time and energy into working hard and earning money, I need a commitment to keep me moving. I pray to the universe and trust that I will be brought all the things that I truly need..”

“I just had my interview, i’ve never had someone doubt my capability that much, he pretty much looked straight at me and said that he didn't believe I was strong enough, quick enough or what he was really looking for, he didn't see me being successful at the job as he believed I was too young and just not capable of being a responsible and hard-working member of the team, i’ve never been broken down by an employer that much in my life, but I sat there and convinced him that I was more than capable, and that he would never regret giving me this opportunity, he then heard what I was saying and decided to give me a trial shift for tonight.. His doubts of me only make me want to prove him completely and utterly wrong, it only makes me want to work harder and be the best bloody waitress I can be, i’m sick and tired of being doubted by people, i’m strong, i’m fast, i’m adaptable, and god damn I work so hard either he will see that tonight, or he won’t. Either way I know my strengths and I will not allow for anyone to make me question that. Bring it on!”

 

Sunday 23rd April 2017

“So here I am, i’m back, with more news to share, I have so much on my mind, I have thoughts fighting one another constantly, and I have no one I can fully talk to and be completely honest with, I guess I got exactly what I wanted, i’m now solely reliant and dependent on myself.. I am now alone. I went in thursday to the church house for my trial shift, it went really well it’s safe to say my boss Julian was pleasantly surprised by my abilities, therefore told me to come in work on the friday night also and to then discuss pay. When I turned up the first thing he said to me was “How much did you get payed at the Grand hotel?” Obviously in that moment I was put on the spot, part of me not wanting to be honest because I only got payed £5.50 when I worked there.. So without even thinking £6 came out of my mouth, I didn’t want to be too cheeky, so I thought a white lie wouldn’t be an issue. He just followed with “Well that’s what i’m going to pay you here” then told me my shifts for the following week.. Only 14 and a half hours.. Despite being promised full-time work at the end of the interview, I understand and accept that even at the beginning he was honest about the fact that he wanted someone with a years experience, therefore clearly being nice he gave me a chance to prove myself, it doesn’t help my anxiety though knowing that i’m on probation till further notice.. Knowing that my every move and action is being watched and judged, this is going to be the next big lesson in my life, proving my anxiety wrong, proving to myself that I can be anyone I choose to be and not allowing fear of the unknown to block me from achieving success. I’m tired of being anxious, i’m tired of not achieving what i want in my life, so it's time to say goodbye to any limiting thoughts I have in my mind, I will be confident I will make my dreams come true. Everyone that works at the church house is so much older than me and are all such a close knit group who have worked together for over 20 years, it’ hard to fully know where I stand with them or how to fully act and communicate with them as it’s obvious I am from a completely different walk of life to them all. This job fully takes me out of my comfort zone, i’ve always felt uncomfortable in a pub environment, something about them makes me on edge, therefore having to work in one with all of the people I don’t feel comfortable around, fully tests me to my whole ability. It’s hard and testing but completely has to be a good thing, it’s something I have to overcome, so I just have to throw myself in, adapt and just learn and grow. Stop being so stubborn merrie, let go of fear and and worries.. Trust the universe has put you here doing what you're doing now for a higher reason, you have been led here to learn some lessons. It’s a lot of experience that you're going to gain working there.

P.s. Thankyou universe for bringing me this opportunity and would like to ask something of you, I would like to ask if it’s possible to bring me some work in the summer back with Bloom Boutique making jewelry, I loved working there and fully miss it!”

 

Friday 28th April 2017

“People are blinded by the illusion of reality, reality is what we make it. It is what we allow ourselves to believe and think. We have ALL the power to create a harmonious and beautiful community between us all. There is no separation, not really, we are all interconnected, we are all one. It is time for us to stand, to unite, to conquer all negativity and fear. It’ time to let go, to love and too see. Open your eyes it’s time to realise that it’s all of our jobs to make this planet a happier, healthier and more beautiful place to be. Take a deep breathe, and then release. That pain that you feel is love; misunderstood. Love is all that there is, it is an an endless wave of creation, a free-flowing existence of our true ultimate beings. True love is an unconditional everlasting bond that cannot be destroyed, it only transitions from one form to another. Love yourself, You’re beautiful, You’re perfectly imperfect, You’re capable of incredible things, You’re fueled with an endless capacity to love and be loved. You are Eternal light itself. You deserve freedom, you are the definition of true beauty. Just start, no matter where you are, what you’ve been through, start exactly where you are. Stand alone, be proud, be strong, be happy and god damn it love who you came here to be. Shine that light.”

 

Sunday 7th May 2017

“I feel good today my energy has been lifted since i started working, I fully love my job, all the people are so lovely and have made me feel really welcome. I really appreciate all the training and guidance they have been providing me with, its genuinely helped me so much to start gaining more experience and has also helped me further my awareness. I am grateful to My boss for giving me this opportunity, and I thank myself and the universe for the positive free flowing energy that has been guiding me through the work. I’m determined to learn, grow and succeed at my workplace and job role, i’m going to be the best damn waitress there is. Feeling motivated, feeling happy and just so excited to learn more and more. My love goes out to the universe. I’m feeling fully connected!”

 

Wednesday 17th may 2017

“Alot has been going on in the world of merrie, a lot has been changing. How do i feel? That is a great place to start, I feel happy, happy that i’m working hard at a great place with lovely people, happy that i’m making money, happy that i’m making steps closer to manifesting my dreams. I am also so proud of myself for overcoming my anxiety. I feel like i’m growing as a person, I no longer feel stagnant like a lost cause, I feel like a flower finally opening up and beginning to blossom into a beautiful butterfly. I can now confidently speak to customers, serve customers and take orders, I am beginning to feel so much more confident in myself as a person, more proud and assertive, less shy and nervous. The nervous energy is finally starting to fade. I feel happy like i have found my feet again, which i’m so thankful for and grateful to the people around me that have been encouraging my growth as a person and within my job role. I am grateful to the universe for guiding me in the right direction, my gratitude is so large, my love is so widely spread, i feel inspired to share my love and lessons. Although being single and alone is hard sometimes, lonely sometimes, not having care and affection from a partner, but i’m learning to be reliant on myself only, but am also more open to guidance and help from people around me, more so than i have ever been in my life, i’ve put my ego aside and allowed myself to learn and to not be stubborn thinking that i’m always right or that i know everything there is to know, because that’s just far from reality, life is consumed by endless lessons and i wish only to exceed all tests and lessons brought my way. I truly believe in myself, and am becoming more aware of the vast amount of things i am ultimately capable of. I feel free to be me, free to wander where i please. I am so over the idea that you need a partner to make you happy, that belief is far gone from my mind and soul forever. I refuse to learn the same lessons more than once. I don’t need to have that ignorance embedded on my heart and soul. I’m on the right track and am ready to receive the love and abundance that the universe has to offer me.”



Tuesday 23rd May 2017

“So it’s my 18th Birthday tomorrow, a time that’s going to bring all kinds of new change and lessons. A time for healing and for growth, a time to let go of all self-doubts, all insecurities about my age and physical appearance, but i will soon be considered a “legal” adult! A person of reliability, consistency and awareness, bring it on, my souls been yearning for acceptance of my true being, and now i have nothing to hide,  no limitations, no rules restricting me, i am whoever and whatever i choose to be. It’s time to stand up and face the music, i’m an adult now, and my life is fully 100% in my hands, waiting for my assertion and creativity. I have all the power and i’m going to create the most beautiful, happy and loving reality and life for myself, it’s time to let go of any excuse i’ve previously used in the past and the worries of what could go wrong, this is where adult life truly begins..Thankyou universe for all of the great lessons you have brought me this year so far, i really feel myself growing and becoming the ultimate me. I’m feeling whole, and recharged, happy to carry on with my mission to manifest an income to fund my travels. Things are looking up, i just need to stay close to my truth and not forget the ultimate universal love i have all around me. Sending my love to the universe and all of the beautiful souls working hard to create a beautiful reality for themselves and loved ones”

 

Sunday 11th June 2017

“WOW! My life is all happening, everythings finally in motion and so much is constantly changing. I’ve been working so much and been growing so much spiritually as well as my overall awareness within society and the working world. I’ve been pushing myself each and every day to persist on preserving forwards, and allowing myself to try over and over until i get better and better, allowing myself to make mistakes on the way in order to grow a deeper understanding and awareness around all types of people. I’m feeling happy overall, i have been spending my time off work reading, writing a blog, doing my numerology readings, doing yoga, and of course planning my australia trip and adventure. I’ve decided not to go there through the agency, a part of me just doesn’t trust them, and then when i received my paycheck, the number i was waiting on to fund the next step of the company's service, i took a look at the paycheck to find i was only £45 short. At this point i had so much run through my head, i knew it was a sign from the universe, a sign sent to show me i needed to go at it alone, that i was capable and ready to be relying on myself and own resources to make it happen. I also miraculously got a call from bloom boutique last week when i was in the middle of a yoga session, i almost didn’t pick up but then i saw the name and had to, they have asked me to come back and work for the summer season part time on top of working at the church house. I start there on the 19th! I’m so happy to get this job back, that i get back the job i loved so much. Everything i could ever wish for is happening before my eyes,but god damn it i still have to work for it, work= manifesting money which = opportunities. I’ve payed and sent off my application for my australian working visa, so am now looking to work this next month to earn the money to book my one way flight. I’m working on myself and my life to manifest my dreams, i have no expectations of when i will be going away or the time leading up to it, i’m just accepting and taking everything good that comes my way. I’m excited about life and am persevering to be the best version of myself possible; my higher self. I’m striving every day for the greater good and only wish to spread my love and awareness among every place i ever visit and every person i ever meet. I’ve got this! Watch this space as i create ultimate beauty.”

 

Thursday 15th of june 2017

“I’m persevering, i really am. I’m taking each day as it comes and really am doing my best to not let others emotions and opinions of me get to me. It’s so hard when you're an empath to be around people and not take on their energy. It just emerges itself into my aura tainting my state of contentment and happiness, don’t get me wrong i have a positive force field of energy surrounding me in order to protect myself and my state of mind. But it’s so hard not to take people's digs and words to heart when their so directed at me in a negative way. I find myself constantly dodging the negativity but then it just hurts my soul that even though i’m loving and caring towards everyone else and try with all my energy to be as helpful at work as possible, that i still get talked to and treated like less than everyone else, simply because i’m small and young, simply because it’s hard for elder people to believe that i know what i’m talking about and actually have my own opinions and belief sets. Some days i really enjoy working at the church house, i enjoy it and have some good laughs and chats with whoever i’m working with, as well as with guests and customers. But other days i feel like i’m just going to break down, depending on who i’m working with, as sometime all i continuously receive is negative remarks and patronizing comments. I’m trying so hard to keep moving forwards through it day by day, allowing myself to forgive and let go, but sometimes i just can’t help let it get to me, especially when i know i deserve to be treated better by some of the people there. It’s frustrating to have to accept receiving less than i deserve, especially when i’m dedicating so much of my time and energy into being the best version of myself when i’m there, and outside of work to. It’s annoying because i actually need this job right now, without it i won't be able to go to australia at the end of this year. Universe please help me out, sends me some signs, i need to know how to deal with all of this and which steps i need to take.”

 

Saturday 17th June 2017

“Okay here goes, something snapped in me at work last night. I’ve been getting treated unfairly and uncompassionately since the first few weeks of working there, I’ve dedicated all of my time and energy into working their full-time; mornings, afternoons and evenings, I’ve done my best to be a hardworking and loyal member of the team and have only been spoken to in a patronizing and rude manner over and over, i’ve been sucking it up, feeling it and then letting it go, doing everything to not take any of it personally, as it was clearly their own problems and issues resulting in the way they were treating me and each other. But last night it got to the point that i just couldnt take it anymore, I was running around working so hard, it was packed from every inch of the place with people drinking and big parties of people having meals, everyone kept throwing a million and one things demands on me as well as me already running around doing everything i saw needed to be done, i just kept getting digs and nasty comments thrown my way, i got so stressed and riled up that i had began to get to breaking point, I turned to silent mode, if anyone were to say anything to me further i would just break down in tears. I walked into the kitchen and began to prepare some dessert orders i had just taken, we had new desserts on the menu so due to the erratic busy environment there hadn’t been time to show us how to prepare them, so me being me took my own initiative just started putting the desserts together in a way i thought would be presentable and acceptable to serve, i was trying to hard to stay positive and just focus on my work, focus on getting the orders out to people, Then out of nowhere one of the chefs came over to me shouting and swearing at me for doing it wrong, I just broke down chucked the plate and told her to do it herself, I started crying, grabbed my coat, told them all to fuck themselves and walked out slamming the door so loud that the whole beer garden had their eyes fixated on me. So that’s that job down the drain, i haven’t even received a phone call from my boss, I refused to stay working somewhere where it’s seen as acceptable to be treated that way, and to be among a boss that has no compassionate bone in his body. Never am i going to allow for myself to be disrespected over and over again. In a more positive light, I start back at Bloom Boutique on monday and they have said that i can work their full-time until the end of august, so i’m happy to be moving on from the church house, moving on into a better and happier position.”

 

Thursday 22nd June 2017- The wheels are rolling once again.

“ I feel more than happy, everything's going so well i’m really enjoying my everyday life, i love my job, i even look forwards to going in and getting payed to do what i love, whilst being surrounded by such a beautiful and friendly group of people. The vibe there is so relaxed, despite this everyone continues to work hard but being able to be themselves and enjoy their work at the same time. I couldn't actually think of a better place to work, even though it can be slow some days and slightly repetitive making and assembling jewelry for 7 and a half hours a day, but as it comes so naturally to me and i’ve always felt passionate about making jewelry, so i couldn't wish to work doing anyone else. I also feel accomplishment in myself when i’m there, so see how far i have come in my self since the beginning of this year and since and got back from spain. I’m so much more comfortable with who i am and how much i’ve changed myself for the better. I’m proud of myself and am only going to continue to manifest my dreams. No matter what happens in these next few months leading to travelling with my beautiful best friend, i will love and appreciate any situation that the universe brings my way, i am ready to open up to the incredible abundance that the universe has to offer me. I will continue to take each day as it comes and do my best to keep moving forwards. I’m here and i’m ready to receive all the lessons that are awaiting me, I’m continue to continue working on my inner self and my outer existence also, allowing myself to maintain a balanced life, a life of peace, love and acceptance of the fact that reality is constantly changing, and you can make it exactly how you wish. Sending gratitude and love to the universe.”

 

Monday 26th June 2017

“Time just keeps on ticking, so much in my life keeps on changing so quickly, i find myself constantly adapting to the new events that come my way. Alots changed in the past week, i have a completely new job, a completely new daily and weekly routine, it’s sometimes hard for me to feel stable and secure when i literally have no idea what’s coming next, especially since i only just got into a positive routine working at the church house, coming home during my hours off until my next shift in the evening, doing yoga, re-centering myself meditating, making dinner then going back to work and coming home late reading a book and then falling asleep. Now i wake up at 6:30am instead of 10am, and then get two buses to work to get in for 9:30am, then work all day until 5:30pm then getting a bus to paignton, getting picked up by mum, getting home by about 6:45 having dinner and a shower taking me to about 8:30pm, then being utterly exhausted wanting to do nothing but relax. I need to make sure i come home and still do all the things that are important to me and my health, like reading, writing, yoga, my card readings and affirmations, i just need to get used to my new routine whilst fitting in my hobbies side by side. Plus when i was working at the church house i would always work weekends therefore making it easier to save money,now that i have weekends off i have been so far tending to go out and get really drunk and resulting in me spending loads of money, which is the opposite of i need to be doing at this point, every time i drink it just makes me feel depressed like i devolve each time, i really can’t afford to be wasting my time destroying my energy and positive mind space, at this point i need to be relaxing and maintaining the positive state of mind i have worked so hard to achieve, It’s just so tempting to go out when i know i have no work commitments on the weekend, but it’s so important that i remember that i have commitments to myself, so i need to ensure i spend at least one night on the weekend to myself, and then the other night spending quality time with one of the few people that mean everything to me. I cannot and will not allow myself to fall into the same old trap of going out all the time and doing things that don’t make me happy just because my ego likes the idea of it, just because the truth is i never really enjoy myself, i just get completely smashed and don’t treat myself or other with care, instead i turn into an angry defensive version of myself. My next mission: Cut down on drinking.”

A New Level Of Awareness- Part Four

Wednesday 28th June

Life is constantly changing, one minute i’m needed in one place the next it’s my time to move on, frequent change has been hard for me to adapt to, but also beneficial as it’s enabled further self-growth and confidence. Wander what’s in store for me next...

In the past two months i’ve come out of a very close relationship, i’ve moved on and worked front of house conquered my fears, my anxiety and my self doubt. I then stood my ground and left a job that wasn’t serving me any good, i then went on to working full-time making jewelry, my ideal perfect job and situation, a chance to do what i love and earn money at the same time, but yesterday something changed that, the universe some how decided it was too easy for me to work full time making jewelry and that actually i needed to be learning some new lessons and that actually i’m needed else where, i’m at a period of my life where i need to be tested. So my hours dropped from 5 days a week at Bloom, to just monday and tuesday, due to the sales not picking up they don’t need any extra staff, at first i felt completely disheartened by this, as i now have to find another part-time job or a completely new full-time job. But it’s just life, i’m trying to let go and just open myself up to the new opportunities that come my way.. wander where i will be guided to next..”

 

Friday 7th July 2017

“I had an utterly perfect day and night yesterday, i’m feeling genuinely really positive and motivated to take every good opportunity that presents itself to me. My eyes are wide open my heart is open to the universe, i’m so ready to completely take the reigns of my life. I’m feeling proud of myself, for where i am today, for all that i have fought for and against to produce a life and mind of complete equanimity. Everything in my life feels balanced and harmonious, i’m feeling more ready than ever to go within and connect to my true state of peace and eternal love. For this next month i am going to put all my time and energy into being my ultimate higher self, i will harness all of my energy and live a life with pure focus on my goal: Enlightenment. I am going to work at bloom monday and tuesday and then spend the rest of my week meditating, doing yoga and writing each and every day, producing and living through my passions. On the first of July i decided to give up drinking, to give myself a month's break that will hopefully result in a huge part of me letting go of the idea that alcohol brings happiness and fun. This for shows my dedication and passion to my spiritual evolution, i’m ready to let go of my alter ego that shows up every time i’m drunk, i’m ready to let go of the illusion, to blow it all away and never let it be a part of me ever in my life again. I believe in the divine source of all things,we are all connected, we are all one, I’m doing this for myself but ultimately i am doing this for the universe and for Love. Thankyou universe for showing me me shadows, thankyou for all of the guidance and lessons, i love you all with my whole soul being, I am here to spread my love and my positive attitudes to life with everyone, i am here to help humanity rise up. Right now it feels like everything in my life has finally connected, i’m on the right path without any doubts and nothing is going to tempt me or guide me away from achieving my goals and dreams. I have all the power to manifest the life i desire, i say no more to the negative illusions that try to block me from the finite truths of this world, this reality. I will become and am becoming the best version of myself each and every day, i’m determined and my heart, mind and soul have all united as one. I am at one with all things, being and nature, i feel the connected consciousness that we all share, and i know for a fact nothing is ever going to hold me back, I am awake, and all of my senses are heightened and i couldn't be more excited about life and it’s hidden mysteries, that are waiting for me to discover. This is the start to something truly incredible, a whole new level of consciousness and awareness.”

 

Sunday 9th July 2017

“ I’m feeling ultimately inspired, so ready to embrace every moment of every day as it comes. I have 6 months left here in England before i leave for my adventures to australia, me and maozya have booked our one way tickets for the 14th of January. I’m going to really enjoy the journey that comes to guide me on my way, a journey that will bring me and teach me all that i need to know before leaving for my travels. I trust that whatever finds its way to me is exactly what i need to be experiencing and learning about. I plan to take every good job opportunity that comes my way, whilst connecting within and always following my intuition and my heart. I truly believe that i will create and manifest all that i wish for, i have no idea how this next stage of my life is going to be or what will begin to unfold, all i know is it’s going to be truly beautiful. I’m ready to write my story and to paint my reality. I’m so excited to travel with maozya, i can see a lot of incredible things out there waiting for us to discover, i can see a lot of valuable lessons to be learnt by us both, and i am solely confident in both of our successes,we will achieve all that we set out to. Bring it on, Say goodbye to fear, it’s time to embrace everything. LOVE LOVE LOVE.”

 

Monday 17th July 2017

“I am truly manifesting my dreams each day of my life, i have been spending all my time away from work writing my blog, and channeling my energy into something beautiful instead of just thinking about what i ultimately want, i have been living my life exactly how i feel like. I feel inspired and can only see bright and exciting opportunities surrounding me. As a whole my mind set is so peaceful, i feel free, i have no worries, no fears of what may come. I am at a place where i accept everything and anything that comes my way, i genuinely feel so much peace surrounding me, i have began to notice how much happier i really am, and how much more confident i have become and how still my mind has become. I only see beauty around me, i feel love and connection to source. I swear sober is the new high, every day i feel excited to continue living my life, like anything is possible. I simply offer my love freely to the universe in order to help heighten the awareness among mankind. My dreams are to save this beautiful planet and the blessed human race who live among it, i only wish to travel the world and spread my love and awareness with whomever i come across. I promise to always live my life through the eyes of love, my mission has began, i am living as my ultimate self each and every day, encouraging others to rise and to see the unlimited power and beauty that they possess inside of them. I will change the world for the better, i will help others to conquer their pain and the illusion of fear. I will achieve these amazing things and nothing will stop me. I am free, and with my freedom i wish to love this universe and the people among it unconditionally each and every single day.

NOW IS THE TIME!”

 

The Present moment- 7th August 2017

So Here i am today, so you see no matter what happens to you, you always have the power to stand up and choose. Choose the life you want to live, choose the person you want to be, the things you want to achieve and accomplish. Life isn’t always easy or fair, but part of life is accepting that we are all going to have our fair shares of ups and downs throughout our lives, and these downs are so important to your strength as a person, without challenges and changes you wouldn’t ever be moving forwards. Part of life is accepting that reality is constantly changing, and in order to live a happy life you have to accept whatever comes your way and make the best of it. You choose how to react to the situations that present themselves to you, You have the ultimate power to feel the pain and let it go, never hold on to what doesn't serve your happiness and positive state of mind, this will only result in an emotional backlog which will end up resulting in an explosion, one that may bring a lot of pain to you and those around you. Don’t make the mistake of being in denial of your pain, face it head on, figure out what makes you happy and go for your hearts desires. Once you begin to affirm to the universe that you are no longer willing to accept this negativity and fear to have power over your minds and hearts you will begin to experience a free-flowing life, a life full of ups and downs but a belief system of ultimate happiness, therefore you will never attach yourself to the circumstances that play out, you will learn to feel the fear and do it anyway, never allowing for negativity to remain embedded on your thoughts and feelings. Okay so you're probably wondering what i’m doing with my life right now? I’ve currently come out of work, i’ve been too and from a few different job opportunities to try and find the right place, but none so far have served my needs, and have unfortunately be unreliable job offers. I am in the process of finding myself a new full-time job a place i can invest all my time and energy into working-hard and saving money, I have two job interviews for this week so we will see how it goes, i'm feeling more than positive about whats's coming next, i know its going to be truly beautiful.

Life is an endless cycle, never give up on what you want, and always accept that you have to take small steps to achieving your goals, don’t allow for yourself to be dis-heartened by something that takes place, make the best of every situation and most importantly learn from every opportunity that presents itself to you. Happiness is a choice, but you also have to work for it, you have to love yourself enough to keep moving forwards, despite challenges you have to keep on moving, gradually growing stronger and stronger, finding yourself more and more. Life’s a flowing journey make the most of each day that comes, never ever doubt your success, because as long as you believe in yourself i promise you, you will achieve everything and anything you wish to.

Be strong enough to say no more to the negativity, be strong and fight for what you love. Own up to the choices you’ve made and start living the best way you know how. We can all choose how we want to live our lives, so tell me what’s your next step?

Short story- The shift in the abyss of her mind.

The shift has begun, its time to step up.

An endless flow of thoughts consume my mind, fixating themselves on every finite thing surrounding them. It feels like a dark thick fog has taken over, thats forming my every feeling and every judgement, i get lost in the abyss of my mind, not knowing which way to turn or even how to feel. I get lost trying to understand what everything means, why everything's the way it is, and how on earth i'm going to change the world for the better. Everything and nothing makes sense, which is a concept that creates a lot of confusion for me, trapping me into a illusion that keeps me over thinking, that keeps me worrying about never doing enough or achieving enough. It makes me feel alone, like nothing could ever possibly work out? This distasteful all consuming fog is breaking me, from the inside out i'm beginning to disappear, i'm losing my mind, my reality, my everything. This fog just won't leave me. A part of me finds comfort in this fog, as if it were to be a protective blanket of false reassurance, that will always have my back no matter what happens, i always be able to sit here and live in my mind comfortably, in a place that is safe, continuing to live among this imaginary existence until i die. This part of me enjoys to stay safe, this part of me likes to doubt myself, doubting myself means i never have to try and never have to get out of my comfort zone and learn, i can just sit and think about doing things, but never having to actually do them. That toxic part of me likes to stay in the negative illusion, the idea that everything's already messed up to the point of no return, so why does anything really matter, why does anything i do even matter?

 

All of a sudden a ferocious battle began to emerge in my mind. Every thought, every part of me pursuing eachother, aggressively fighting off one another as if it were to be a fight to the death, in the space of a split second i have lost all sense of who i am, what i think or what i believe, i have no sense of “right” from “wrong”, is this me finally collapsing?

 

Iv hit the bottom of the dark entwined drop, i'm laying at the bottom of the endless pit on a cold rough surface struggling to see anything around me; i stare up, looking and hoping to catch a glimpse of the glowing light above me. But to my utter disappointment all that engulfs me and my surroundings is a black empty nothingness, i see nothing, all i can see is black. But how can this be happening?, how has my mind fallen into a completely black hole, how is it i cannot think, feel or even communicate, but my body is still here functioning, moving, conversing, how does no one know that i've broken inside? How can no one tell that i've left, that i've gone to another realm, and still my body remains in a state of sheer pain, a pain that cannot and should not be experienced. A kind of pain that almost feels normal, because i’ve become accustomed to allowing myself to be in that pain and that fog for so long, because i have allowed myself to fall and to keep falling, further and further down until i’ve reached the bottom,until i reached this cold dark place that i lay among in my mind. How have i lost the light along the way, im struggling to understand anything, nothing makes sense to me anymore.

 

I keep doing really irrational things, i keep making bad decisions, bad judgements, i keep acting out aggressively, i have no control i have no sense of direction, what am i doing and how do i stop this? Its getting worse, i haven't felt connected to myself in what feels like forever now, my mind has been imprisoned, i need to get out. I am hurting people, i am experiencing nothing but pure pain, guilt and hopelessness, i feel numb to the point that nothing could faze me. I'm already lost, so i don’t see the point in taking responsibility for the things i'm doing, everyone probably hates me, i think i hate myself, what's the point in trying, where would i even start?

 

I need to find my peace, i need to connect with my own love again, i need to break free from this endless pit of destruction,it feels like i’m losing myself but i know that this isn't who i am, this isn't who i want to be, i need to take charge i cannot and will not stay at the bottom of this compelling pit. I can not continue to allow this constant battle to be triggered in my mind. Instantly something connected,at the point of affirming this to myself an eager thought burst through my mind and pierced my every sensation, like a firework exploding, creating sparks and bursts of fresh energy. The first positive thought to have returned to mind, How could i have forgotten the important points to life:

 

“All that we are and all that we have is experienced through being and living in the now, feeling and experiencing every moment that blesses you, inhaling the energy letting it emerge inside of you, living it, then taking a huge breath and blowing it out, allowing it to dissipate and move on. Follow the light, follow your heart, follow harmony and always remind yourself of who you are. You are GOD; a generator, a operator and also a destroyer, you have the power to create, manifest and destroy. You can create life, live life and take life, but you are ultimately here to BE life. What you feel and think inside is an exact projection of what you will be experiencing on the outside. Externally you will manifest exactly how you choose to see yourself and the world around you, the choice is simple; you either want to live your life through the eyes of love, or you want to live your life through the eyes of fear. Fear is what leads you to remain “comfortable” and “safe” in a delusional state of mind that you didn't really choose because you were never told you had the ultimate choice to live any different. That fog is ruthlessly intoxicating, it removes you of all your power, eventually you just melt away losing any sense of who you are, what you want and how you would actually like to be living your life. The choice is in your hands.”

 

How had i forgotten such an important thing, how did i allow myself to fall so far, so far out of alignment that i was no longer me, all it took was me telling myself no more, me telling myself i wouldn’t take it anymore, this is all it took to safely return my truths back to me. It's so obvious and clear to me now that i have the choice to decide, that it's down to me to make changes, it’s now or never. All of the pain is no more, my heart aspires to bigger and brighter things, it knows i deserve more; i know that i deserve more. I am a open vessel in which life flows through me, i am a visitor here to BE and experience life, but to never attach myself to external things, instead to embrace everything with love and compassion and to actually be an oracle of light, a constant flow of energy that's changing and adapting, growing and vibrating. I believe that i can live my life through the eyes of love, i'm ready to say goodbye to the hypnotic fear that has clung onto me for so long.

Now that i remember who i am again, now that i know and feel where my heart lies; and that is with nature, the universe and with the whole of mankind, my heart lies embedded among this earth. It's time to actually be everything i believe in, not just think about it, but to actually be it. It’s time to be the unique captivating energy that i am. I believe that through the eyes of love i will begin to notice the signs from the universe, the signs guiding me towards awareness,change and happiness. As i raise my vibration, through only allowing positive thoughts to influence my mind and decisions, i will begin to see how many others around me are also breaking out of their imprisoned minds, who are also ready to see past the lies and to look beyond physical reality; a reality that encourages you to stay locked inside a box, a reality that will do everything possible to block you from stepping outside of the lines, from moving above and below them. I know that since i’m making the amazing choice to unlock the door and step through, i will never ever want to turn back. I will never focus my mind and thoughts on to negativity or on things i cannot control, i will simply always be an evolving energy that worships love; one love. A universal love, a love for all things, all beings, all creatures and all plants, i am going to embrace a reality of complete purity and of peace.

 

I am ready to start.

 

I’m ready to be life, to experience life and to be love, i surrender the outcome to the divine and i’m ready to let go and move on.

 

Nature VS Technology

Technology has taken over, or some would say it is in the process of taking over. Our everyday lives are consumed by technology, we rely on it for everything, our phones provide us with “everything that we need”, our society as it is today would be lost without technology, we have become solely reliant on it for our lives to carry on. The truth is technology has been placed in the power of the wrong hands, it has been used to abuse and manipulate the environment, the animals and the people who live among this earth, it has been used in a way that is continuously harming us all, killing us all whilst slowly removing us of our strength and our power.

Instead of relying on our natural resources to provide us with everything that we need and relying on our own physical bodies and minds to create something, to build something or grow something, we have created machines, computers, mobile phones, transport and factories to do our jobs for us; while we lay back and live a life of “luxury” in a reality that isn’t real. We have chosen to populate this earth with incredible amounts of unnecessary manufactured objects. We have brushed nature aside and instead of being loyal allies and neighbours we have just abused our environment more and more, taking it for everything it has and not giving it anything back; instead of being at one with nature, we have become its greatest betrayer.

The saddest thing about it all, is that as a human race we are led to believe that we have no other choice but to follow this way of living, that life is “just the way it is”. All along so many people knowing the truth about how we affect our environment and how badly we treat it as well as the animals and one another, We all know how disconnected we have become, and how cold hearted our leaders have been along the way.The people that we have always looked up to, trusted and followed with all of our blind confidence, we have followed the churchmen, the priests, the politicians in hope that they will lead us the right way on to the right path; the path to heaven.

We have feared all along that if we do not follow the leaders and their ideas of what's right for us, that we will live a miserable life and then go on to hell when we die. We have been lied to and convinced that heaven and hell are any different, that there is a difference between good and evil when the truth is both aspects would not simply be if it wasn't for one another, and in order to live a healthy balanced life that meant us actually balancing both the good and the bad that lives within us all, and that actually it was all about finding harmony between both energies not fearing the dark, but truly embracing it. We have been programmed to think that you have to live your life doing the “right thing” when really all along we have been led to believe another lie; that right and wrong even exist. There simply is no possible way to tell another person the “right” and “wrong” ways in which to live their lives, it is simply always down to a matter of perspective. Every person has their own perspective and truth, every person has a choice and right on this earth as a born human being to explore this world alone, to find the truth through their own eyes, to discover their own “right” from “wrong”, without any external influence trying to convince them to do or be a certain way.

As a universal race we have been mislead for the whole time we have existed here on earth, although despite the majority there has been many religions, groups and communities that have stayed true to the real aspects and hidden magic that unfolds within this earth; the magic that is there waiting for you, waiting for when you're ready to see it and feel it. It’s time now to let go and detach yourself from the idea that technology and physical things will bring you true happiness, it’s time to connect back to the earth and start remembering the truths you already know deep within you.

Technology as a whole is the biggest misleading distraction from real life, it consumes you inside of  a virtual reality, a reality that doesn’t truly exist, but one placed in front of you as a distraction, to prevent you from discovering your true missions and passions. A reality that is solely based on your thoughts and feelings, a cold disconnected lonely reality, one in which you never feel ultimately happy. Don't get me wrong a lot of incredible things have been achieved through advances with technology, it isn't technology that is the problem but actually the way in which it's used, and the people who have the power to control it. It's very obvious to me that if things carry on the way that they are, and things continue to grow and advance and the people don't become aware of the negative effects it really does have on your body and your mind, that this planet will soon become one big virtual game, one that excludes real love and intimacy, one that is based on regiments plans and routines, a world filled with direction and false hope leading to an unhappy end result.

There's so much more to life than the latest gossip with a tv programme, the new advert based on the next best phone, computer, clothing item or the next best car. There's so much beyond the idea of thinking that life can be bought, or spent. A beautiful Life can simply be created through natural ways of living, reading and writing instead of watching a film or a tv series, meditating instead of worrying and overthinking, going for walks and having picnics instead of going out to the pub and getting drunk. I could list many good ways in which to spend your precious time, but only you can choose and know how you would really like to be spending your time or what you really want to discover and learn about, whether it’s; playing music, singing, drawing, playing sports or reading etc. all of these natural and healthy hobbies will massively elevate your lives and improve your health, whereas staying inside and spending all your time watching things, procrastinating or just being constantly consumed by social media, will only cause and attract a lot of negativity in your lives, it will cause you to experience anxiety and depression, it will honestly affect your emotional, physical and mental health in a truly pessimistic way.

Connect within to the natural you, the present you, the raw beautiful you now, the perfectly imperfect you, the ultimate you away from virtual ways of living, nature has all you need and all you could ever ask for, just look around you at the incredible beauty that engulfs your surroundings; every flower, every leaf, every sound every breeze, when you start to see through the eyes of love, you will begin to see a universe so vastly full of potential and opportunity that you could never ever be possibly bored or restless. Put your phones aside and start dreaming outside of what others may think or believe, connect to the universe and become a vessel of endless growth and pure love. The nature awaits for your presence, it has always been waiting for you to return. Be love and step outside of your mind, open your eyes and see what is awaiting you on the other side.

"Look deep in to nature, you will understand everything better" - Albert Einstein

Embrace change.

Change is a very strange concept, from a very young age we are conditioned to fear change, we get comfortable and never wanna leave or adapt to new situations, new beliefs or new mind sets, we fear being judged or not being capable of overcoming new challenges, we begin to think that change is a bad thing, something to avoid and shy away from. We end up living our lives consumed by a bubble of comfort, of security and of familiarity, simply because its easier to doubt yourself, and to stay in your bubble of reality that's consumed by excuses and negativity, Forever doubting your abilities outside of comfort and far beyond into the incredible opportunities of the unknown. 

The problem is with inhabiting this negative state of mind, is that we have began to become stagnant consciously as a human race; Instead of evolving spiritually, we have shifted our focus on to evolving physically as "man" a world based on egotistical thoughts and values, investing all our time and energy in to just producing more and more "stuff" unnesscary physical objects that have no real importance; Instead of focusing our energy in to becoming and being who we really are, realising our true potential of success and happiness and channelling our true beauty in to creating what we ultimately deserve. We deserve happiness, compassion, love and abundance, we are capable of everything and all amazing things possible, and if we set down our guards and open up our hearts to the universe we can begin to embrace change and how essential the acceptance of change is to your spiritual and emotional well-being. As change is a healthy and beautiful part of life, it enables growth and new opportunites. When i evaluate and reflect on my life and all the sequences that have followed one another, i begin to see my life alot like a book or a continuous story being written over time, each period of your life is the next and new chapter to the wonderful book you are gradually writing, the life you are choosing and creating, think about what you would want to read in your book, how you would like it to be, what you would like to learn and experience in that story? Because you have the power to write that book how you wish, so why not follow your heart and your dreams because that will always take you to where you need to be, that is what will help you to form this mystical unwritten story that lays ahead of you. Start new hobbies that you've wanted to embrace for so long but have never had the courage or motivation to truely start, embrace new opportunities, jobs, friends and adventures, look for the change that resonates with you, go after what you want and desire and never doubt yourself in the process, you can have and achieve anything that you want, dont let anything hold you back, you deserve more that you know, connect within, meditate, write, excersise, go for walks in nature follow your inner calling and find your path. 

For a long time change feared me, the idea that in order to better my life that meant me actually stepping outside of my comfort zone in to the dark abyss of the unknown. The idea of letting go of my fear and the doubts of what may come, being completely open and vulnerable to change, But i knew i had to do these things to acheive the goals i truely wanted. I couldnt shake the doubt that i felt every time i considered doing something new, something i had never done before. I made my self believe that i wasnt good enough, or that others wouldnt really see me for who i am, so maybe they wouldnt like the person they percieved me to be? I spent along time to afraid to really connect with myself and what i loved, out of fear for what others would think and say, i guess i was mostly afraid of my potential of sucess, the idea that i had to step up and take the reigns, for some reason i seemed to enjoy staying in my comfort zones and just never actually taking my own advice; instead just soaking up all the pain and negativity around me and giving out all of my love and only really becoming consumed by more and more dark energy. I allowed myself to stay stagnant never changing and adapting just staying in the illusion that everyone else had the power but failing to recognise my own power and potential, when i began to live my life with more equanimity, keeping myself present and focused on a harmonious and balanced state of mind, i began to manifest and create a more harmonious and healthy lifestyle. I cant explain how incredible believing in yourself is and the positive effect on your mind and body it has, trust me iv been at the bottom of that black hole, and i never saw my self coming out. But it only gets better when you start to believe it can, when you start to love yourself enough to change for the better, to rid yourself of negative habbits, hobbies, thoughts and feelings.

When you realise that these limitating thoughts are illusionary, they mean nothing, and that they have no real power over you and your potentials unless you allow them to, you will begin to love change, you will enjoy the feeling of being in a state of constant growth and evolution. Dont fear what change could bring you or the situations that may present themselfs to you, instead invision who you want to be, what job you want to have, what goal you want to achieve, and believe you will get it, through embracing change and love in to your lives you will begin to attract new exciting things, you will begin to love the natural cycles of life, you will become the person you invision yourself to be. Change is so important to your mental and emotional development, it sparks a new desire to learn and to grow. It teaches you new lessons, it allows more wisdom and awareness to surround your minds and lives. Without change you would forever be stuck in a viscious circle, embedded with the same lessons, the same feelings and the same thoughts, you would never truely move on. 

Embrace the new and unknown, embrace the change that comes and the happiness that follows. Let go of the doubts, replace those thoughts with visions of where and who you want to be. Just believe that change can happen and that actually we all have the power to choose change and to allow new energies and opportunities in to our lives. We create and attract what we think we deserve, so aim higher and you will be utterly stunned at what you can acheive. Start now, focus on what you want and take new steps and challenges, conquer your fears. I believe in you, so believe in yourselves. 

Sending love and happiness your way, i feel its the time to unite. We can do this, we will evolve spiritually, and we will all live the lives that we want. We can change the current course of the human race and its consciousness, we will create change. 💙

 

"You're not a human being having a spiritual expeirence, You're a spiritual being having a human expeirence" - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin  

NUMEROLOGY

Numerology has began to impact my life in a truely wonderful way, since i have been learning and discovering the incredible powers and vibrations that numbers consist of,  i have been able to find more balance and guidance in my life, therefore have been manifesting a more beautiful reality, a reality of my choice. 

What is numerology? 

Numerology is a universal language of numbers, by breaking down the patterns of the universe in to numbers, we are able to uncover the hidden truths and imformation about the world as a whole, as well as each and every individual here on earth. Numerology analysis consists of your date of birth and your given name at birth, each factor being added up to provide you with the distinct numbers that define your personal characteristics and behaviours.

Five elements to your personal numerology: 

* Your life path number

* Your birthday number 

* Your soul urge number

* Your Expression number 

* Your personality number

In order to discover your own important numbers to each of these aspects, the best websites i have found consisting of the most accurate numerlogy calculations and knowledge of how each aspect is calculated are : numerologist1111.com/ and astrostyle.com/numerology/

Using the numbers to direct and guide your life:

The most helpful aspect to numerology that i have discovered is Numerology guidance cards, they provide you with help, guidance, reasurrance, direction, motivation and perserverance; Aswell as providing you with the knowledge and definitions that each number consists of. At first i was skeptical about how they actually worked and if they actually worked, but as i have began to use my cards in various different spreads, asking various different questions, i have formed a very strong connection to them, and have recieved only accurate and spot on answers and advice every time. 

Check them out, you can buy these cards on amazon: NUMEROLOGY guidance cards by Michelle Buchanan.

 

 

 

How to create a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere in your home.

There are many things you can do to tranform your home or your room in to a beautiful sanctuary, a place full of pure peace ensuring your positive and well-balanced state of mind.

Crystals

Crystals are powerful sources of energy, they create a incredible field of positive energy, they help you to become more connected to the divine source and elavate your energy and motivation. For me i have always been drawn to rose quartz and amethyst, as they have very strong powers and radiate pure beauty.

What positive effects can crystals have on your mind, body and life?

Each individual crystal and stone gives off its own unique form of subtle energy. The particlar energy given off by a stone is soley dependent on its internal crystalline structure, and by the atomic vibrations that are specific to that structure. Certain healing stones vibrate in a way that resonates with you and strengthens particular energies that are found within each and every person, they help to strengthen your inner qualities aswelll as your human emotions, powers and potentials. By having specific crystals in your surroundings you will begin to elevate certain qualities in yourself that you may be lacking or struggling with. Their positive vibrations will effect all aspects of your life in a truely simple but beautiful way. Start researching about the different crystal and stone forms, find out which ones will help to improve your life and your emotional well-being. 

Incense, oils and aromas.

Incense is a powerful way to heighten your senses aswell as creating a beautiful aroma of smells. They help to create a calming atmosphere along with maintaining a peaceful and positive state of mind. You can buy incense in all kinds of forms, but my ulimate favourite incense is that of by StarChild, they create different mix's of herbs, flowers, resins, gums and wood chips that are infused with pure essential oils, each mix created to help elevate different aspects of your life, to use this inscense all you need is either a metal or ceramic inscense burner and some charcoal.You light the charcoal in the burner until the whole peice has turned red all through to the middle, then you simple take a small pinch of the beautifully crafted incense and sprinkle it on the top, and then await for your senses to be amazed. 

You can buy this incense on this website: www.starchild.co.uk

Sage: 

Sage can be burned and used for many different spiritual benefits such as: clearing and cleansing the air and space around you, protecting you from negative/toxic energies from intruding your space. It can also be used to bring clear and cleansed energy to a new item or crystal by simply burning it around that item. The best way to burn sage is to hold a lighter or match close to it until a large section of it is lite and burning, then to hold the sage stick and move it around from the start of the room in a clockwise motion until covering all corners of the room, you can also say a quiet affirmation while doing this as it will help to fill your space with more love, happiness and awareness.

Oil burners:

Oil burners are also a great way to create a amazing aromas in your room, you can use what ever essentail oils you wish to, all you have to do is put a lite candle in the bottom of the oil burner, then add a dash of water to the bowl at the top, and then add a few drops of your chosen oil to the water and then sit back and enjoy the beauty that fills the space. The oils i would suggest are; lavender, lemon tea tree, peppermint and eucalyptus. But be sure to try out different oils to find your favourite smells. The starchild website also produce incredible essential oils with more specific aims of healing.

Candles

Candles create a tanquil and calming ambiance, they radiate a beautiful glow helping to form a magical and sensual enviroment. I like to put candles all around my room as when i lite them i feel an inner peace and a ultimate sense of being. 

Flowers and plants

It is very imprtant to have living plants in and around your home, they help to detoxify and regenerate the air around you, they help to create a healthier flow of energy. They help to deter any illness, they clean the air and also asist in further healing. They also help you to focus and work better, on top of all those things they look beautiful and make your home feel more fresh helping you to connect to nature and the divine source within.

 

 

 

Short story- When I awoke.

I awoke by the loud obnoxious ringing sounds of my alarm clock gradually getting louder and louder, forcing its noise further and further in to my mind. I then slowly began to move my relucant limbs from my cradle of fantasy. It seemed very much impossible to do so as I felt no physical motavation to make myself leave such a fantastic trance I had been in for the little time i had. 

I finally arose forcing myself to my window that had seeping beams of bright light emerging its way through my dull and derivative curtains, as if they almost wanted me to free them from the tight grasp the force holding them together had on them. I held a tight grip on each corner of my curtains and carefully pushed them away from one another, but at the same time preparing myself for the luminous light awaiting me on the other side. The smoldering burst of bright light blinded me from all sight completely. 

This intense sensation lasted for an enduring amount of seconds before i was able to adjust to the glowing light before my eyes. In seeing such a beautiful and inspiring sight that echoed to the deepest parts of my soul, I assured myself of the distinct oportunities that were drawing me to the outside, the lighter and brighter side of the window. At that point I could of chosen to stay merely glimsing through a thin layer of glass, staying inside, staying in my comfortable bubble of reality and never really allowing my self the chance to step outside, to pierce the oh so comforting bubble. 

I quickly got dressed, not knowing or even thinking about where or what I was going to do, but with an urge of reasurrance and pure eagerness, I trusted that no matter where i was going I knew it was going to be truely beautiful, so I set off down the windey yet assuring paths that lay ahead of me. The incredible aromas of the fresh crisp air astounded me, Making me question wether or not I had ever acknowleged these sensational aromas ever in my life before, or even how many other simple but purely beautiful pleasures in life I had been consistantly and carelessly over looking each and every waking day of my life so far. I felt like I had been reborn, like my senses had been hightened, like a veil of cloud had been finally lifted. 

How could I have ever been so ignorant? How could I have ever not fully opened my eyes, how have I been living my life through such blind eyes and through such a closed heart. All these thoughts and questions were rushing through my mind, violently fighting off one an other, I felt like a blank memory stick that suddenly had heaps of data downloaded on to me. Then for a moment I stopped, my body froze, my mind became empty and blank like a fresh canvas. I felt still, grounded and free from thought. 

To my utter amazement, iI had come across this small yet incredibly detailed creature, I stood still carefully analizing this beautiful and innocent living being that floated before my presence for an everlasting moment. I felt overwhelmed by its beauty, something about this specific being had me completely mesmorised by its utter perfection, every detail,every colour, every pattern. Eventually it fluttered away, and like me carried on down the windey yet assuring paths that lay ahead, but this time with a completely new pair of eyes, this time with a whole new level of awareness. Is this what it feels like to be awake? ..

Only you can choose when your ready to remove and peel back the veil. To open up your heart to the universe, to see reality for what it truely is. 

🌍

Life changing Books.

This is such an amazing and incredible book to read, one of the best trilogys ever written. These books genuinly opened my mind to the crazy but realistic potential outcomes for the universe. I would advise for everyone to read these books, they will open your mind. The concept and hidden agenda of these books is just so beautiful, it encourages consciousness and awareness, it forshows the undeniable truth. You can simply buy them on amazon, You will not regret it. 

Such an incredible book, a complete must read! Everyone needs to read this book, its full of important insights and information key to the survial of mankind.

This is an incredible book, full of important insights in to understanding who we truely are. It covers all key aspects to life and assures you of the truth. Its magically written and has impacted my life in such a fantastic way! I am confident that you will love it as much as i do.

Anxiety does not have the power! You do.

Claim your own power💜

I always used to get so anxious about the smallest things that i had to do like ordering a coffee, walking down the street alone, i used to have a constant worry that no matter where i went i wasnt going to be accepted. I would spend hours worrying about everything, going over every detail of every worry or situation that made me feel uncomfortable. But i just got sick and tired of emotionally and mentally destroying any postive thing i thought about myself, i decided to stand up and face my fears head on,do everything that scared me or made me feel uncomfortable, and guess what? I gradually started rising up out of the self-pity, out of the pain, now i rarely even question wether or not im capable, because i realise now that your mind truely creates your reality and that i can be anything i choose to be. I now choose to be happy, to be confident and to be adaptable to any situation.

All the worrying and the fear of what could go wrong is just so not worth it.

Just dont let those negative illusions hold you back, your far more beautiful than you may believe and you have unlimited potential to achieve all your desires and goals. So be postive, be happy for no reason and just never have expectations.

Everything always turns out better than you think it will, because it is simply what it is..nor good or bad. Just the way it is. Lifes a complex game, but you can make it easy and flowing for yourself by simply being positive and letting go of what you think you should be. 

Allowing things to just be.

Allowing yourself to truely blossom💜

Astrology.

Astrotheme.com - A perfect website for a daily horoscope. 

Cafe Astrology.com - Birth charts, in depth information about each of your planet and house placements.

For me astrology has allowed me to understand my self in more depth aswell as giving me insight in to my personality traits and behaviours. Every person takes the information provided very differently, as we all have our own unique perceptions and understandings. But i would truely advise for you all to atleast keep an open mind, research your charts and see if it resonates with you, because more often than not even people that do not believe in astrology, have been utterly amazed at the accuracy when reading up about it. So give it a go, it cant hurt to allow yourself a chance to broaden your mind, understanding and the knowledge you already pocess. 

Lets all rise together and take back our rights as a human being.

"Another world is possible" 🌍

The fact that the planet and enviroment is getting destroyed and completely broken down by a bunch of selfish money hungry people with emense powerss of illusion, makes me so angry we all have to do our part and be a part of the solution.. not a part of the problem. We cannot continue to allow their authority over our minds and our hearts, we are all free beings capable of such amazing things. Together we can all create a world filled with peace, love and a universal community. We are all one, and until we all start to live by this finite truth, we are giving away our power and allowing ourselfs to be brainwashed and controlled. 

We need to start living our lifes self-sufficently, buy foods and products from small local businesses as well as only purchasing free range and organic products. We have to start screwing over big cooperations, fulled and ran by pure evil and with no intention of serving the greater good.

Im not going to settle for the "inevitable" we need to make changes, big changes, and those changes start from within. War is errupting and we have so much more power than we think. I dont know about all of you but im completely determined to live a full happy life and ill go down fighting all the way. We need to save this beautiful planet.. a revolution needs to begin and we have the power to start it.

Change ourselfs, our minds and our habbits and we can all make big changes to the universe. Mediate, excersise, eat healthy, research the truth and never just accept the "knowledge" that were given.

My love goes out to the beautiful souls that dont bow down to all of the bullshit lies, corruption and minipulation.💜

We can all make a difference but only if we believe that we can. 

 

Positive Affirmations.

You have the power to re-programme your mind, to better your lives and living quality.🕉

Positive affirmations have such an incredibly powerful effect on your mind as well as the way you feel about yourself. When i first started writing and reciting them, dont get me wrong i found it hard, the ego likes to try and make you feel stupid for saying postive things to your self out loud, but do not allow it this power. Once you start to encorperate them in to your daily lives you will begin to live a healthier, happier and more fun reality. They truely will effect all of your lives in such a beautiful way. Iv written some for you all to read, hopefully they will inspire you to give it a go and eventually write your own. 

💜 Love is around every corner and joy fills my entire world. 

💜 I am very thankful for all the love in my life.

💜 I can do it! 

💜 I am discovering new ways to improve my health. 

💜 I respect myself! 

💜 I am divinely guided and protected at all times.

💜 I am ready to claim my own power.

💜 I give myself the gift of freedom from the past. 

💜 I forgive my self for not being perfect, i am living the best way i know how. 

💜 I AM READY TO BE HEALED 

💜 My potential is unlimited

💜 I am now willing to be open to the immense abundance of the universe

💜 I am open to recieve all that the universe has to offer me.

💜 I am releasing all resistance to expressing my creativity fully. 

💜 I am capable of everything and anything i allow myself to be, i am ready and i am open!

💜 I use my thoughts to make my dreams come true 

💜 I serve the greater good and am given all that i need. 

I have recently started to write these on to card with all sorts of colours, cut them out and stick them on my wall. I recite them every morning and every night, it truely has began to impact my life in a powerful and positive way! Try it out, i hope it works for you all. 🕉

Beautiful conscious albums!

Kate Tempest- Let them eat chaos.

The working world.

In this current society that we are living amoung, money makes the world go round. No matter how sad you believe it to be its just the way it has been manifactured to work, fortunatley you have all the power to create an abundant and financially secure living quality. With the right mind set you can for sure be a part of the "working world" whilst happily living outside of it. Im sure all you have completely different reasons as to why you need and want to work and earn money, whether its to support your family, pay the bills, save for travelling, to buy a house or to make your dreams and adventures come true. 

No matter your reasons, you can live happily and succesfully simply by the way you veiw your job or current job position. I found it hard in the beginning to actually feel good about myself whilst contributing my time and energy in to something that i didnt love. I always strongly disliked the idea that you always have to start at the bottom of the ladder, and slowly work your way up, proving yourself and your abilities. I know i can speak for everyone when i say no one likes to be told what to do, what to say, what you can and cant wear, how to behave, i mean why would you, were all free flowing beings, not meant to be tied down by others expectations or opinions on how you should be and act. 

But as iv began to find my peace with working iv also began to realise the perfect way to view it. Think about it in this way, when you go to work your going to fit in to that establishments game, its your job to turn up on time and dedicate all your energy and focus in to playing the role that they need you to, its like playing a character in a movie, you do your best to act in the most appropriate way you now how, to make everyone happy. But the truth is, your there for you and only you, your there to earn an income to make all your desires and dreams come true. All you have to do is turn up, slot yourself in to the puzzle, do your best to play the game, and then slot out and carry on living your life for you. Now having just made money for self, now having made a step closer to funding and manifesting your dreams. 

Work isnt your life, working is what helps you to create your life and reality, its what enables you to take opportunites and fun that comes your way. It earns you the money you need to partake in all the activities and adventures that your hearts desire. As long as you never forget why your there, and what your working for or towards, your work and job will never have any authority or power over you or your lives. 

At the end of the day its about seeing your worth reminding yourself that playing the game is just a part of life, thats not to say you will spend your life working but for most of us working will be a big part of life. Thats why its so important to get in the right mentality about work, love what you do no matter what position you play, it says nothing about who you are, just how much your fighting for yourself and loved ones to create a beautiful reality for yourselfs. Wake up and look forwards to work, look forwards to the fact that you and you alone are doing everything you need to be doing right now to get closer and closer to your dreams.

Enjoy each day as it comes and never forget why your doing what your doing and what it is your truely working for.

Relationships.

As a born healer i have always with held the upmost empathy for all people and beings around me, so much so that i spent alot of my life living for the sake of other peoples happiness. I always felt the need to dedicate all my time and energy in to ensuring that all the people around me got healing and as much help as humanly possible, i focused on providing everyone with my love and care, i spent alot of years of my life surrounded by toxic people and energies, purley because i knew i had the power to help them rise out of their depression, their fears and there self hate, i felt ablighed to ensure everyones positive state of mind. 

This resulted in me attracting alot of pain in to my life, a lot of emotions and energies that just simply were not mine, before i could do anything about it i realised the mistakes i had been making for so long. I had the wrong idea about my powers and my natural abilities, i had been choosing to take the responisibilty for other peoples pain. When the truth is it had nothing to do with me, and infact only a person can truely rise and overcome their negative emotions when they are ready, when they realise on their own what they need to do, when they are truely aware of the steps they need to take.

It is also is safe to say i ended up in a few different toxic relationships, i realised that all along i had been allowing myself to be emotionally and mentally drained trying with my whole being to heal the guys i believed i was so in love with. I thought that if i could love and care for that person enough that they would begin to see how truely amazing they really were away from there human conditionings away from their ego based identities, i thought i had the power to heal them so that they would be able to then love me fully. I allowed myself to be with people who i knew didnt have the capacity to fully love me or appreicate me for who i really was, in the hope that all my time and energy would be returned when they were ready to give it to me. I made the mistake of expecting someone else to love me, even though i didnt truely love myself.

I forgot about my needs and what i ultimately deserved, i put all my feelings aside and focused my mind soley on the next thing i could do or say to ensure their happiness, i dedicated by whole soul and being into those people and only ever got consistantly hurt over and over. You see my mistake was not realising that by neglecting myself that i was the one causing myself pain, not them, it was all me. 

It got to the point that i ended up falling in to a deep depression, i adopted an awful amount of anxiety about every little thing you can think possible. I never left the house, i sat dwelling on how shit i felt, how much i hated what i had allowed myself to become, i blamed myself for it all. I fell so far down the rabbit hole that i no longer saw the light. But the whole time knowing excatly what i needed to do to better my life, but at that point i just had no self-worth, i lost all desire to live life, i just felt like giving up i didnt ever see it getting any better. 

Until one day i grew so sick of feeling sorry for myself, for blaming external forces, for sitting there and thinking about all the pain i had in my life. All my negative energy and surpressed emotions came out with one big bang, resulting in me committing actions that were completely agasint my beliefs and morals, i became so hurt and broken by consistant dissapointment and neglect. This explosion changed the course of my life, i finally crossed the line and saw the truth. I just couldnt take it anymore, i decided to stand up, take responisibility for the things i had done and said, i decided to pull myself out of the pain and let go of my past. I decided i could be anything i chose to be, i decided to transform all my energy in to truely creating a beautiful reality for myself. I realised that i needed to learn to love myself amd to start living my life for me and not for everyone else. I realised that if i didnt do anything to change the reality i had been choosing, that no one else was going to do anything about it, and that only i had the power to re-programme my mind to see life in a more positive and light-hearted way, only i had the power to let go and move on.

I detached myself from all toxic people and energies in my life, i decided to be alone. After spending over 4 years in and out of different toxic relationships and my whole life in and out of toxic friendships i just couldnt allow myself to be drained by anyone anymore. I knew i deserved better, i had to find my path and be alone. I had to learn to love and value myself again. I decided my energy was best invested in myself, as i truely deserved to be happy. At that point everything started to change, i became in tune with universe again, everything i was asking for was being given to me and I finally began to find my way.

You see when you decide that your worthy, that you deserve happiness, that you are the only person whos going to be with you throughout your life, and unless you treat your self with love and respect that you will only ever attract people in to your life that are broken. People that arent ready to love you, because they havent learnt to love themselfs. When you finally stand up and say no more, the universe will start to bring people in to your life that are truely worthy of your love and energy, and until that point you can focus on giving yourself everything that you need with out expecting to receive anything from anyone else. You cannot fix or save toxic people, they have to want it themselfs, and if you truely love yourself you will not allow your self to be "loved" by a person who pocesses these negative emotions and conditionings, you will not allow your true beauty to be abused by that negative energy.

Do not settle for less than you deserve. Stay alone, learn to love yourself and make yourself happy, do not rely on others to fill that hole within yourself, because no person can love you nor you can fully love someone else until you learn to love yourself, until you are soley dependent on your own happiness. Be cautious about who you are allowing in to your lives, be cautious about who your investing your energy in to, not everyone is worth the effort and time. Its alot harder to detach yourself from a person who you've allowed so close to you, than it is to not let them in to your life in the first place. 

Stay true to your heart and soul, listen to the inner voice that crys out. Never doubt your worth or what you deserve! You are amazing and can have all that you choose to. 

🕉

 

Transforming greif into acceptance.

Forever loving you nathan for the perfect warrior you were and are. 💜

Im going to share a very personal insight with you all about a very close person to me. First id like to start by sharing some knowledge with you about the incredible person he was and the pure being he has gone on to be.

Nathan wood, a beautiful tall handsome ginger young man, aged 16. To me nathan was my brothers best freind, his partner in fun and crime, they were completely and utterly inseparable for many years. He spent a alot of his time at our house with our family for a very long time, he became like a brother to me, i loved him with my whole soul being. I saw him grow up from a young boy to a dashing young man. A wise and fearless soul ready for anything, iv never met a person so beautifully unique that was so up for anything that came his way, he took every day and every opportunity to have fun he never shyed away from experiencing anything and everything within reach.

I always admired and still do till this day how little he cared about what other people thought or said about him. It simply never crossed his mind or even faised him in the slightest, he just continued to be his true authentic self each and every day. 

When he left this reality and all his loved ones, i was completely and utterly heart broken like i never have been ever in my life before. Nothing could ever describe the amount of pain i felt or his family felt, to loose such a incredible person and being from all of our lives, it was the most devistating thing imaginable to accept. That he no longer would bless us with his presence, his charisma, his utterly hilarious,fun loving and cheeky personality. 

I didnt know what to do or how to continue living my life happily, when a person i cared for and loved so intensely and dearly had been stolen away. I didnt leave my bed for months, i just couldnt imagine a postive life or even a life atall without him in my furture. I spent months and months sat writing to him, talking to him, asking him why just why he had to go over and over again. I just couldnt understand why him out of all people had to leave when he did, so young so ready for life. It made me angry that i couldnt of taken his place for him. I began to blame myself, filling my head with "what ifs" what if i could of been there, what if i could of prevented it or some how saved him. 

All his loved ones couldnt and wouldnt accept he had gone when we all heard he was missing, no one once thought he was gone for good. We spent the next few days searching the whole of totnes for him, praying for his safety. When we all found out what had happened i can speak for everyone when i say we didnt believe it, no one could understand how or why it had to be be him. 

I just couldnt pull my self out depression, i felt like if i got on with my life that meant letting go of him, letting go of the idea that he would just suddenly appear at my door and say it was all a practical joke. I spent so long waiting for his return i refused to believe that he had truely left. I was terrifed of him just being a memory, i wanted him to live on forever and ever i never wanted him to be forgotten for the amazing person he was. 

I decided to live my life for me but for him aswell, i decided that in order to keep him alive that meant keeping my burning love for him alive. It meant me living my life for the better, living life the way he did. I decided to adopt the traits and things i loved about him that i was always terrifed to live by. He sparked a new light in me, he made me believe in myself again. 

He taught me so many things, he taught me to never give up on what i wanted, he taught me to never care about what others thought or said about me, and that life is so short none of us ever know how long we have left. And unless we take each day as it comes, and make the most out of all the things we have in our lives, one day it may be to late. He made me realise i had to stand up and be proud of who i am,not to hide away for the sake of worrying about how others will react to the real me. He enabled me to love myself again. 

The truth is people are born and people die, but just because they leave this physical reality it doesnt mean they are gone for good. They live on in spirit and in all of your hearts. The burning love you have for them each day is what keeps them alive. You cannot give up on your lives because a person you loved so much has left this relm and moved on to the next. Death is a painful and heartbreaking thing to come to terms with, but once you learn to accept that its part of life, and that really there is a very very fine line between life and death, so fine that theres really no difference. They may no longer be here physically but they are all around you and will go on to guide and impact your lives each and every day. 

Never stop thinking about that person, keep those memories alive let them live amoungst you and your lives. Let go of all the pain, blame and guilt, move forwards with your head held high forever treasuring the beauty they brang to your life. Allowing your self to move on, heal and grow being proud of the pain and grief you have dealt with, being proud of the new person you have become. Thank that person for blessing you with all that they have taught you, thank them for simply blessing your lives.

Let go, and learn to love and accept the reality for what it is.

Moderation is key.

Iv recently turned 18, therefore now am legally allowed to drink, go out to events/clubs and also to buy my own tobacco. You see i always couldnt wait until the day i do could all of these things without being told that i "wasnt allowed" and the fact that i no longer had to be illegally or secretly drinking alchol, i couldnt wait until i was free to have that choice when i wanted it. But now that i can and have that choice, iv realised such an important thing. Alchol and drugs are used and taken as an escape from reality,they ensure a short burst of false confidence and ego-based happiness. But now that im working on my self to create a beautiful reality i dont want to escape it anymore, i want to live it as much as possible, i want to emerge myself into all the lessons and opportunities that come my way. I want to stay awake and continue to advance my perceptions and awareness. 

Dont get me wrong i always used to love alchol it enabled me to have the confidence to dance,speak to people and to state my opinions loud and proud owning the "real me", but all along i was living through an altered,depressed and emotionally repressed version of my self. A version of myself that does and says stupid things, a version of myself that just isnt who i am anymore. The difference between my true self and the drunk version of myself is just terrifyingly opposite to one an other. When i drink i just get rowdy, over bearing and just falsely confident. See i let go of all the supressed emotions and feelings, they came out in a huge explosion that changed the course of my life. I let go of my past but alchol seems to be the reoccuring habbit that makes me feel like im de-evolving. 

I wake up the next day after having been out the night before, feeling my whole aura and energy tainted and my perception of my self mixed up. It makes me feel like iv taken a step backwards, when in my conscious state my whole soul focus is on moving forwards. Alcohol makes you re-live unnessacary emotions over and over, it keeps you stuck and stagnant in the egotistical parts of yourself, it blinds you from whats really important. On top of that it makes you feel like utter crap, you wake up feeling empty, confused, blank and ill, making it so much harder to then go about your daily lives.

I feel myself having to force myself to do all of the things that normally are so flowing and easy for me to do. It makes me sit there dwelling and worrying about what i did or said the night before. I just simply dont want or need it in my life, espcially when im striving to keep the veil removed. I am who i am, why would i want to alter my true state of happiness and love. When i go out to drink i always end up just continously buying drinks one after the other over the period of so many hours, as soon as im drunk the temptation of the bar is almost irrisitable to me, i just end up spending more and more of my hard earned money, and for what? 

Moderation is something that im really learning at the moment. Its unnesscary to waste so much of your time and money on alchol, when really it just steals your life away making you be more and more reliant on it to ensure your "false" happiness and to ensure that your having fun. So glad that iv finally realised this over the few nights out iv had in bars and over a few years of "getting through" my week so that i could just get drunk and waste so much of my time just drinking because there was nothing really to do but drink and socialize, so i thought. I dont need that or that lifestyle it effects me and my energy in such a negative way. It never really makes me happy only angry and irrational whilst connecting to the darker side of myself. Why would i choose to do that over things that truely make me happy, instead i could read, write, walk, do yoga, reasearch amazing topics and simply be. 

Its so important to explore what really makes you happy, not waste your time on doing things just for the sake of it and simply because its is easier and encouraged upon you as an illusion of fun. Let go of thinking that alcohol is the answer because it really isnt, love is the only answer. Connect with the things that ensure your true happiness and well being, remember to always have moderation in your life, its okay to party and drink alchol, but dont fall in to the illusion that your life will ever get anywhere if you sit on your ass and simply drink your life away. Create a reality that you would never imagine trying to escape from, not even for a moment. Be the gods that you are and always trust your inner voice, the you without the human programming, the you without negative thought or expectation. 

Binge drinking will only ever effect your life and your body in a negative way, it will only leave you high and dry in shitty situations and a negative state of mind. Be aware of how different alcohol makes you behave think and feel, its all false happiness, dont allow your self to be constantly living a life that is consumed by the need to escape. You deserve so much more than that. You have the power to choose. 

 

 

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